Category Archives: relationships

Euphemisms

condom-1555086It would be remiss if I didn’t kiss your clitoris.
I would abhor if you ignore my knock on your back door.
With a glance and wink I ask: do you think per chance
I may partake of your clambake?
Would you think it crass to mention
How I wanna tap that ass?
Would you be struck mute if I asked for a toot on the ole skin flute?
Would you deem it uncouth and give me the boot
If I asked to shoot above where you poop?
Would it make your head droop
Or knock you for loop to hear I like it rough?
If you’re so inclined, smack my behind.
Or is that out of line?
As I kiss my way up your spine
And listen to you huff and puff,
Don’t whine.
I know it’s not enough.
As I dine at your buffet
And drink another cup
of your muff
Know this:
You’re mine.

How to Influence People and Make Friends Without being a Dick

“To thine own self be true.” –Shakespeare
How often has the above been pounded into our heads? But what does it really mean?

How can you be true to yourself if you have no idea who you are, or what you’re capable of?

The truth is most of us don’t have a clue about our identities until we hit our thirties,or beyond. For most of our lives we play at different roles, trying on one mask after another until we find one that fits.

Raise your hand if you remember going through one of these phases during high school or college. It’s OK. We all have our moments. I went through a goth phase in high school where I only wore dark clothing.

I abhorred anything thing that was name brand because I was trying to be so indie and cool by not be a conformists. But you know what I realized?

By trying to be a nonconformist I conformed to the notion of what it meant to be a nonconformist.

I traded one label for another and had become another demo toe b marketed to. The truth is the things you wear or the products you have don’t define you. It’s your thoughts and actions that do.

You can spend a life time chasing after a label in hopes of finding an identity or you can let your real personality shine through, and let that speak for its self.

Yes it’s scary to let others see who you are at your core but it’s also rewarding. Because when you’re at ease with yourself nothing can rock your confidence and people will notice it.

In the past when I went I used to be the guy that sat in the corner and glared at everyone for having fun and not inviting me. I was so on the defensive because the thought of someone seeing the real me and getting rejected was my biggest fear.

It was only after I stopped caring what others though that I began to loosen up and have fun. And you know what I discovered?

When you stop trying to impress others and just have fun people respond positively. Sure you’ll still get the occasional jerk but overall being open and fun makes for a better time.

You can be open to new things and people without sacrificing your core values and still be fun to be around. Don’t be a dick and dickish things won’t happen to you.(Tweet that if you want to).

Step one is to open yourself up. Wear comfortable clothes and if you have a song or mantra that gets you pumped up, listen to that before you go out. Realize it’s more about how you carry yourself than anything. So go into any meeting or outing with an air of calmness around you.

If you start to feel nervous repeat to yourself you’re here just to have fun and whatever happens, happens. You’d be surprised how not giving a fuck often leads to the best times out.

The key is to be approachable and go with the flow. If you get shot down move on. There’ll be plenty of others to meet and everyone’s so sloshed they wont remember you anyways . So go get some.

More

Am I the only one who is sick of the places for gay/bi guys? Why is it that the moment you log in you’re bombarded with ads for porn and sexy toys? What happened to platonic relationships? All you see is a sea of NSA and fwbs.

Why is that because your into dudes you have to sell your self like a whore on the corner? Where are the sites where people build each other up instead of treating each other like pieces of meat?

Am I the only one who’s sick of random sex with strangers? What happened to dating and getting to know someone before having sex so it means something?

I’ve had my share of hook ups in the past, and you know what? I want something more than a few minutes of pleasure. I need emotional content, the kind of sex that only comes from knowing your partner inside and out.

For this reason I’ll remain abstinent until the right person comes along. You can do your own thing but right now this is want I feel is right for me.

 

Bi the Way

Yes I’m bi and no that’s not a lie, so I can stay in the closet and hide.

  No, I don’t sleep with anything that moves. By the way, I’m not confused, or don’t know which hole to choose.

No, I’m not greedy. Yes I can commit. And I’ve had it up to here with your shit. Excuse me, but don’t act surprised because I get pissed when you insist I don’t exist.

By the way, I’ve lain with other guys, but that doesn’t make me gay. No matter what you say.

 Wait!

 I’ve dated girls too, but that doesn’t make me straight.

Don’t hate.

How many times must I explain before it sinks into your brain? What’s so hard to comprehend?

 The gender of my date doesn’t determine who I choose as my mate. By the way, if it’s not clear let me spell it out so there’s no doubt.

I don’t fear being queer, so don’t jeer when you hear, “I’m bi.”
Whether it’s women or men, in the end love’s what it’s about. And that’s what counts.

copyright silentbutcudly 2013 at silentbutcudly.blogspot.com