Bad habits are hard to break, and for me it’s biting my nails. No what I do goes beyond that. I pick at the cuticle, twisting and pulling until it’s bloody and raw. I chew away until there’s nothing left for my teeth to reach. Then come the tweezers and clippers to finish the job. In the past the compulsion to bite my nails rendered them a festering mess.
My parents tried everything from keeping my hands covered to putting hot sauce and other bitter substances on them, but they didn’t work. At the height when there was no longer any finger nails to worry away, I turned to my toenails, going so far as to rip one of the nails from the toe.
Over the years I’ve gotten better at resisting the urge to do this but it still happens especially when I’m nervous or stressed out. It always starts the same. My foot gets to tapping, which leads picking.
Picking leads to biting which results in hang nails and more picking until I have to get the bit of offending skin and nail out. Sated I can go back to what I was doing before the urge struck.
If I had to pin point when this began it was probably when I was 7 or 8 and came in response to not having any control over myself. The pain served as a release valve for everything I kept bottled up.
As I’ve gotten older I learned to vent things in more constructive ways like working out and writing. Though I don’t bite my nails to same degree I’ll still find myself with the obsessive need.
So what bad habits do you have and how have you tried to kick them?
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