So This Is Forty?

Hey, long time no post. Ya’ll probably thought I abandoned this blog.

Nope.

Life just got in the way, as it tends to do. Between my day job and the tire fire that is our current timeline, I haven’t had the time or energy to do much of anything but eat, sleep, shit, work, repeat.

But last month, I turned forty and have come to some epiphanies.

First, I’m not a kid anymore, so I need to take better care of my physical and emotional health, especially after the lab results from my last doctor’s appointment. My blood sugar is high and if I don’t get it under control, it’ll tank my kidneys and other organs. So, beginning today, I’m eating healthier and will start hitting the gym too.

Second, I’m not as far along with my writing as I’d hoped I’d be, and if I’m being honest, it’s been weeks since I wrote a blog and months since I even thought about working on my WIP’s. So, I’ll write for at least 30 minutes every day. And I’ll set hard deadlines for completing my WIP’s.
Third, I’ll resume therapy and work on my issues, because if I’m gonna be around for another forty years I want to be the best version of myself I can be.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to live this long; and now that I have, I don’t know what to do. Maybe therapy will help me figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’ll probably always write, but as for my day job, I’m thinking about using my company’s tuition reimbursement program to get a degree in either communications or business management and apply for a better paying job.

But with the uncertainty of this year’s presidential election, I don’t know if I’ll even still be in the US come this time next year.
It feels like we’re all waiting to exhale, wondering what will happen next, wondering if there’ll even be a USA after this election.
It just feels like the whole world has gone insane and no one is doing anything about it because we’re all just trying to get by the best we can.

And I’m sick of it!

I don’t want to live another four years, let alone another forty, worrying if my rights as a person will be taken away, my existence politicized, based on which party is in power. This is no way to live: constantly on edge and stressed out, because no matter how much we turn out the vote, we’re always one election from the next Trump, always one election from it being the last election. All because America refuses to address its racist past and present.

I’ll still vote for Harris this November, but I’m not naïve enough to believe her election will fundamentally change anything (I learned my lesson with Obama).

The system is broken, and nothing will change until we fix it. So, yeah, vote blue no matter who, then once Trump and Trumpism is no longer a threat we need to do some self-reflecting as a nation.