This is the first of a weekly series called LGBT Tuesdays
From the moment we are born we are told that true love conquers all and that everyone
has a soul mate. Sorry but Prince Charming is dead and Superman aint saving shit.
The reason it’s so hard to meet a decent guy is because we only accept the love we think we deserve. Go to any site that caters to dudes into dudes and you will be bombarded with ads for porn sites, alcohol, generic Viagra and other sex aides.
A glance at the profiles reveals a laundry list of qualification to even contact the person. Chief among them no fats, fems, no blacks, or whites only. It is no wonder dating is not in many guys’ vocabulary because for them it all boils down to having the best orgasm.
We’ve had to hide who we are for fear of reprisals.
The result is an emotionally stunted community that prizes elitism and group think over inclusiveness and free thought.
Sure during Pride Month we come together to give the illusion of a cohesive group, but then it’s back to our cliques and business as usual.
When you do meet a guy who’s boyfriend material either he’s on the DL, in the closet, or is already in a relationship. Disillusioned you use sex to fill the void, and for awhile it works. Then you realize it’s not cutting it anymore. So you go back to the same hook up sites or bars and try to meet Mr. Right. After stepping over a lot of shit you think you’ve found him.
Things are going good ,but then you start to notice something’s off. It starts with little things like him forgetting important dates. Then it’s the mood swings, followed by with holding sex, and belittling you. Welcome to the world of codependent relationships.
You try to fix him but that back fires. So you brush off his less than stellar habits and hey if not going out with your friends means making him happy then so be it. Relationships are about compromise, right? Yet you are the one who always gives in because you don’t want to disappoint him.
Without realizing it you’ve been cut off from everyone else and no longer want this person in your life. Yet you fear being alone so you stay. He cheats but again you don’t confront him, and if you do he shrugs it off and says it’s your fault.
The point is you must be the source of your happiness. If that means being alone then so be it. You’re not some toy to be played when he’s in the mood then thrown in the corner.
Questions, comments?