How Not to Get Burnt Out

Lately I’ve been on a poetry kick. I’d forgotten how much fun playing with words could be. The simply act of string words together and making magic out of nothing.

Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect every time, we don’t stop to have fun with what we’re doing. No one likes grinding out piece after piece so you can make a living. But that doesn’t you have to hate the process.

When you free yourself to have fun playing around with words, it releases your creative juices. Stop trying to impress everyone and concentrate on yourself.

You can always go back to the piece later. The point is to write fast and have fun while doing it. One technique I’ve found that works is to use written kitten or some other program that rewards you for typing X amount of words.

Another technique is to let the characters decide what happens next. This can be scary at first because their decisions can radically the plot line you had in place.

This is a good because it means you’re tuned in with the world of your story and have freed yourself to play around. If something doesn’t work, don’t worry be happy. Keep going until you’ve reached the end then do the big edits.

The point is to find your passion and allow it to take you over so you can reach for something beyond the ordinary and transcend the mediocre things you’ve been producing.

When I write it’s first for myself. Then on the rewrite I keep the reader in mind and remember to kill my darlings so things don’t get bogged down by dead wood and fluff.

I also take time away from writing to work on other things and recharge those creative juices by watching movies or TV, or reading something.

The point is we need to strike a balance between producing the best product we can, while indulging the creative side of ourselves. Otherwise we run the risk of getting burnt out and no one likes when that happens.

The Quest for the Perfect Body

When you look out on to the landscape what do you spot? Ads as far as the eye can see depicting attractive people. The message is clear. Look like this if you want to matter or buy this product to look attractive. It’s often cited that women put themselves through hell to conform to the ridiculous standards of beauty expected of them. But what about males?

For every ad featuring a model skinny as a stick you have one depicting guys as muscle bound sex machines. Moreover from the time males are older enough to comprehend it they are told to toughen up and walk it off if they get hurt.

And when it comes to sex thanks to porn males think if they don’t measure up they’re not a real man. Especially if they happen to gay or bisexual. The concept of masculinity in western society, and America in particularly, is rooted in the number of females a male has slept with. The higher the number the more status he has among his peer group.

However when a male expresses a interest in his peers beyond friendship he is often ostracized for not being a “real man,” because only women should want to sleep with men.

Spurned the gay/bi male turns the LGBTQ community where he hopes to find inclusion. Instead what he finds is a fragmented network of groups that exclude people on such arbitrary criteria as being too hairy, dark, feminine, or not buff enough.

Every aspect of him becomes another box to be ticked off to see if he’s worthy enough to join the group. Seeking refuge from this mean girl mentality he turns to porn. Here too he is made to feel inferior for not having gargantuan genitalia or being the right color.

Distraught he begins dieting and exercising to conform to the body fascism placed on him by the wider community. At first it becomes about losing those extra pounds, which morphs into fitting into those skinny jeans.

Pretty soon he is spending most of his time at the gym and engaging in unhealthy eating patterns such skipping meals or having a severely reduce caloric diet. He has entered the world of male eating disorders.

Not unlike females who suffer the same disorders, his quest to obtain the perfect body has left him with a warped view of his body. However unlike most females, his preferred method of purging that slice of cheese cake is extreme exercise. If left unchecked he could suffer sudden cardiac arrest due to malnutrition.

So what is the solution to this problem? Remind him he is in good shape and should only exercise to stay in shape, not to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty and masculinity. Only by absolving him of this need to please others will he find happiness within himself and go on to form healthy relations with others.

Labor Day

Do you think it’s OK
To work for shitty pay?
Doing whatever they say,
So at the end of the day
You have to put things on layaway?

Do you think it’s OK
CEOs get three hundred percent the pay
OF the average Joe‘s?

Do you think them lazy to say
They want higher pay when their
Income has been froze for three decades?

Don’t listen to the crooks on Wall Street
Who say austerity is the way while they get
Richer by the day, or that tax cuts for the one
Percent are here to say as our debt mounts
And infrastructure fades away.

workers
image by Herman Brinkman via sxc.hu

If you feel like me and see something is rotten
Then let’s make this a Labor Day something that ought
Not be forgotten.

 

 

 

 

Where’s the Line?

Last week In my post about genetic privacy I asked if technology was moving too fast and if we needed new guidelines to help us cope with this new world. This week my question to you is this. Is society better off if we allow science to progress with minimal restrictions?

I read in a recent article on the Huffington post about naloxone and this anti-opiate use to treat overdoses has been fought. The critics of the say it will lead to more drug use and overdoses.

However the larger picture here is that bureaucrats and politicians are decided what right for people. Once again the will of the populous is being ignored so those in power can look good and line their pockets with bribes, I mean campaign contributions, from the pharmaceutical industry.

The old adage goes: there no profit in a cure. What does this have to do with science you may be asking yourself? Everything.

Imagine if penicillin or the polo vaccine were denied to people on the grounds it would increase a person’s likelihood of engaging in activities that could put them at risk for these diseases.

Like wise imagine getting sick and when your doctor ask how you got that and he/she didn’t like the answer could refuse to treat you. This is exactly the scenario which the blunt amendment allows for.

Doctors and other workers could refuse to treat patients on moral grounds or deeply held beliefs. What’s more your employer could do the same and opt out of covering things like birth control and treatment for AIDS/HIV.

So the question I again pose to you is this. While me need common sense legislation to address the rapid increase in technology and how we deal with each other, how do we also allow for those advances without stifling them?

You Know You’re a Writer If

 

1.You keep a note pad by the side of the bed for when ideas strike in the middle of the night.

2.The voices in your head aren’t a cause for alarm.

3. You’re familiar with the following phrases:

Kill your darlings.”

Omit needless words.

Writing is really easy. Just tap a vein and bleed on to the page.

Rewriting is writing.

Glue your butt to the chair and don’t get up until you’ve written something.

4.You’ve thought, “Hey I could come up with something better than this crap,” after reading/watching something.

5.You carry a notebook or your cell to jot down observations and snippets of conversations whenever you go out.

6. You wished your muse had a GPS tracker so you knew exactly where to find it.

7. While reading this you’ve started making your own list.

8. You’ve said, “I’d rather be writing.”

9. You’ve experienced the manic highs and soul crushing depressions that comes with the process, yet wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

10. You write!

 

Phoenix Diaries Update

Good morning,

I hope all is well with you this Friday as you’re gearing up for labor day weekend. I’m going to my parents house and I’m a bit scared because I’m going to show them my writing for the first time.

I’ve been sharing more my writing with the critique group I’m part of and figured it was about time my family read some of my work. It’s part of what Jeff Goins calls performing in public.

Anyone can write but the only way to get better is by showing it to other people. This is why I’ve set a goal to finish the first draft of Paligenesis, book one of the Phoenix Diaries by my birthday which is in a bit over two weeks’ time.

After this I plan to switch over and rewrite/edit my first book Pinky&The Brain and then begin work on Phoenix Diaries Book Two: Ouroboros. Also I have two pieces which I plan to submit to Writer’s Digest Magazine for their column Five Minute Memoir.

For those of you who have been keeping up with the story thus far expect chapter 15 and 16 to be posted to silentbutcudly.com this weekend. Instead of making you guys wait so long between chapters I’ve decided to break each chapter into smaller parts and post those every other day or so at nifty.org so as to build a following and get my name out there more.

Well later and again enjoy the weekend.

 

confessions

Please don’t fret
No need for distress
You’ll soon be out of that dress
I must confess
I was struck by your beauty.
But it would a dereliction of duty
If I didn’t please your booty.
If you’re feeling naughty
And want to touch my body
Then come on hottie
Lose the clothes
And let’s stem the rose.
I must confess
We’re a hot mess.
Put your head on my breast
And let’s take a rest.
Lest we go into cardiac arrest.
I must confess
Your chest is the best.
Another round of this sex fest?
I must confess
you’re the horniest, yet.

 

Current TV: A case Study of Bad Marketing and Brand Recognition

What current TV can teach us about Marketing and Brand recognition

Intro

For those you unaware up until last week Current TV was a left leaning political channel founded in 2002 by Al gore. He along with his partners sold the channel to Aljazeera for an estimated $500 million.

While the former hosts of the programs debated why the channel was a failure their analysis was shallow at best and puerile at the worst.The real reason Current TV failed was because of it’s piss poor marketing.

The Business Model

Before you decide to bring a product to market you must first verify it either solves a problem or provides a delight. The problem with Current TV was what it initially provided was “viewer created content,” or vc^2 as it was referred to. The problem with this is many folds.

First because Current TV wasn’t available on most basic cable or satellite packages, or had to specifically requested, this limited the viewer ship of the network. Moreover because of the proliferation of sites like You tube why would consumers spend money on something they could watch for free?

Content

Much the same way MTV used to show the same videos ad nauseum in its early days, so to did Current TV. Its handful of vc^2 segments repeated around the clock.

This wouldn’t have been as bad if what they showed had a consist theme. But each segmented varied in both length and content so a viewer never knew quite what they were watching or for how long.

Consumers crave fresh content but also have expectations about quality and consistency. The problem with Current TV was it didn’t give viewers much of either. Again because these were programs created by viewers they ranged from terrible to terrific with no metric to determine if you should waste your time watching.

Branding and Messaging

After this business model fail Current TV tried to re-brand itself as a liberal political and news channel. However the same issues carried over. While they dropped all but the most professional viewer created programs like Vanguard or The Young Turks they still had tons of time to fill.

The solution they came up with was to fill it up documentaries and reality TV shows interspersed with political shows like View Point, The War room, etc. The problem with this was a disconnect in messaging it caused.

You can’t have a station dedicated to reporting the news and then show a documentary on how Tupac and Biggie’s murders were part of a conspiracy. Nor can you show propaganda pieces like Michael Moore’s movies and expect to be taken serious as a credible and objective source of journalism.

Enter Aljazeera

Another chapter in the Current TV saga has just started. Aljazeera’s acquisition of the station caused backlashes before it even started airing programs as the new Aljazeera America.

Many cable and satellite providers like Comcast and Time Warner Cable refuse to offer the station. And of those that carry the channel sponsors have threatened to pull their ads in protest.

Conclusion

While it yet remains to be seen if American audiences will embrace the new network, one thing I can say for sure is: if they fail to address the perceived issues with their brand identity and messaging, they will have that much more trouble winning the consumer base over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monochromatic Madness

 

For decades now the gay community has stated they are inclusive of everyone hence why their symbol is the rainbow flag. However this couldn’t be further from the truth. The dominate image put forth by GLADD, GLESSEN and other LGBT organizations has been and continues to be white washed. Anyone who doesn’t fit this homogenized image doesn’t exist.

Let’s start with the number one area the media depicts LGBT people: porn. Go to any site geared to men who have sex with when and you’ll be bombarded with porno ads all depicting white chiseled guys and if a nonwhite person is featured it’s usually to play up racial stereotypes or to fetishize them.

Case in point: the Mandingo sex crazed black guy who has a foot long phallus. Or the ghetto gang banger violating the innocent little white boy. Or the hood rat hoodlum who gets dominating by the white guy. Sure you’ll see Asian and Latino guys in porn but that’s only because they tend to be lighter skinned and thus a case of but not too black.

Because remember they’re not people but sex objects, so it’s ok to fetishize an entire group of people and so what if this has an negative effect in the real world. Asians tend to depicted as submissive ultra feminine “lady-boys” who fall over themselves for even the lowliest white guy, where as Latinos get stereotyped as feisty and passionate lovers.

The bleed over effect is obvious to anyone who’s spent time on hook up and relationship site for men who have sex with men. You have profiles that say outright not into X race, but I’m not racist it’s just my preference. Right, because disregarding everyone from a group isn’t discriminatory at all, especially if your profile says you’re looking for friends.

In the past this annoyed the hell out of me however now I’m thankful for theses clowns. It lets you know immediately which guys are douche bags. Because chances are if they’re have hang ups on race you can bet your butt hole they’re also narcissistic trolls who are shallower than smoke and of course are “Straight Acting.”

Which leads me to another issue. How the larger media as a whole depicts black gay and bi guys. The only time they mention us is in the context of HIV/AIDS, or being on the DL. While infection rates are high among black LGBT persons this due more to genetics and engaging in risky behavior. Not being on the DL.

Moreover in recent years there have been sharp increases in the infection rates of young white males who have sex with males because they believe AIDS isn’t a serious threat anymore and they can just take a few pills if they become infected.

You don’t see the media ,mainstream or gay, reporting on these men who engage in bare backing and so called breeding, where by multiple men have unprotected anal sex and ejaculate in a bottom.

Nor do you see them report on all the “Straight” guys looking to hook up with other guys on Craig ’s list and elsewhere. Then there all these MWM (married white males) cruising for sex yet not a word is uttered about them. Hmm I wonder why? maybe because if they did then their customer base of affluent suburban white males would get their panties in a bunch.

The mainstream media and gay media have been lagging when it comes to more inclusive portrayals of LGBT characters. Case in point Will and Grace. Set in New York City, one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the world. But you wouldn’t know that from the show.

Moreover as much as it was “groundbreaking” it failed to show gay characters who weren’t either super feminine or masculine. This is a problem because people don’t fall into either extremes. They tend be somewhere in between.

Queer as Folk was another show which failed into include a diverse picture of LGBT life. It was set in Philadelphia, a predominately black city, yet only featured a handful of nonwhite characters, who surprise, surprise were partnered white characters.

One scene in particular sticks out in my mind. It was a mixed couple who approached one of the main characters to have a threesome. When I saw this my first reaction was seriously, you finally show a black gay guy and he’s just there to be a sex object. Epic fail. Even with modern shows like Glee and Modern Family the LGBT characters, if they appear at all, are almost always white.

For many marginalized groups independent media gives them an outlet to have their voices heard. However here too minorities are not given a place at the table. The majority of indie LGBT films are for and about white characters. Either in one of the gay Mecca’s or follows their struggle to get there from their backwaters town.

Of the few LGBT movies geared towards blacks Brother to Brother is best because it’s not only a history on how Bayard Rustin and others were treated because of their sexuality and race, but how young people of color are treated today by their communities and the gay community.

While indie publishing has opened the flood gates in terms of content much of what’s out there for LGBT people of color is slim pickings and this is even worse in mainstream publishing where the trend continues to be books featuring predominately white characters and few if any nonwhite ones.

So what can be done?

First LGBT people of color should pull their support from organizations that continue to perpetuate the whitewashed 2-D portrayal the community. Second we should get active in groups fighting for our needs and if none exist in our area, start one.

Next we should bring up these issues at round tables and conferences and if we get dismissed as drama queens or seeing a problem where none is there, then we boycott them and start our own.

Likewise if you’re tired of not seeing more diverse and inclusive portrayals of LGBT folk start creating them. One of the reasons I started writing was because I was sick of not seeing people like me.

So what are your thoughts on this issue? I’m I off base or what?

Will the Right to Genetic Privacy be the Next Casualty of the Police State?

Henrietta Lack’s cells where harvested from a biopsy without her family’s consent. They became the first immoral cells, able to be replicated in a culture and have been used in some 70,000 papers on genomic research as well as in research for the polio vaccines.

However Lack’s family didn’t know about the so called Hela Cells until twenty years after the fact. By then researchers had begun doing experiments on her children without their knowledge. Their medical records where then released and published without their consent.

In a recent decision the NIH which oversees the immortal cells created a council to govern who has access to the cell line. Lack’s family were asked to sit on the council and agreed. However this raises a larger question. (Wynne Parry via the Huffington Post tinyurl.com/mm5k46p)

As genetic research advances what’s is there to prevent you from having you genome sequenced and having that information published or sold to corporations? What’s to prevent HMOs from using this data to justify charging higher copays and deductibles to people predisposed to certain diseases? Especially given that the ACA mandates everyone must have some form of insurance.

What’s to prevent life insurance companies from using this data to deny paying claims by arguing a person didn’t die of natural causes and was a genetic time bomb?

While this information could be used for good purposes such as screening for various diseases or enabling gene line therapy to remove them from any children you may have, it could as easily be used to nefarious ends.

Given the current trend towards militarized police forces and an ever expanding spy apparatus ,what’s to prevent the government or private corporations from using your gnomic data to track you via DNA scanners.

What’s to prevent us from losing basic rights because we don’t measure up on the Gnome scale? This brings to mind the Movie Gattaca in which such a reality was the case.

Every aspect of your life was determined by your genes and the only way to work your way up was by posing as one of the genetic elites who had fallen on hard times and sold their DNA to so called Invalids.

Sure you’re thinking that could never happened. But this is already a reality for millions of people awaiting transplants. Getting on the list can be a task in itself, then once politics, money and race enter the mix your position on these waiting lists is subject to whims of bureaucrats.

There was recently a case of a black teenager who was denied a spot on a heart transplant list for allegedly having low grades and run ins with the law, which the hospital argued showed he had a pattern of not following orders.

After the story broke the hospital revised its decision and he was put on the list. But what about the next time something like this happens and the media doesn’t pay attention?

While I’m all for scientific progress there should be discussions about how these new technologies may be abused. For instance while Google Glass may be cool it does raise privacy issues.

Having the capability to record everything you see doesn’t mean you should. Nor does it mean you have to right to record others without their knowledge or consent.

We are hurtling to a world where the line between humans and technology is blurring by the second. In this new world we need new guidelines to govern how we interact with each other. Are we gong treat each other with respect or like a series of codes to be traded like commodities?

 

The 15 People You Meet Online

 

3d illustration of computer technologies. concept notebook
Image by Kolobsek via sxc.hu

If you’ve spent any time on the web, chances are you’ve encountered at least one of these characters.

1.The Spammer
No matter what the conversation they will be there  hocking their product. Identifiable by their poor grammar and syntax. While most are programs now a days, you’ll meet the rare human spammer, who like all con artists tries to lure you in by stroking your ego.

2.The Troll
While this term has become ubiquitous in its application, it simply means one who deliberately attempts to derail a conversation by saying something inflammatory.

3. The Keyboard Commando
This is the person who posts all about how he/she would have handled the situation better. Never mind they have no experience outside watching movies, TV and playing video games. Derp they’re “experts.”

4.The Bully
Under the cloak of anonymity these people say things they never would in real life. Favorite past times include arguing about stupid shit no ones cares about and making death threats over the silliest things.

5. The Psycho
A close cousin to the bully these are ones who take things into the real world. Stalking, harassing calls and texts, they don’t know when to stop. Often found on dating and hook up sites they pass themselves as normal until you start to see cracks in their mask. No close friends or long term relationships, issues with boundaries and jealousy. And of course trying to control every aspect of your life. Run far away.

6. Casper the Friendly Ghost
These are people you meet who seem nice enough ,but then you never interact with them again, as if they  up and disappeared.

7.The Social Justice Warrior
These are people are  only about having their egos stroked under the guise of pushing for social justice for a marginalized group. Most often found on tumbler, instagram and twitter shilling for one politically correct cause or another.

They are found of spouting about peace, civility and equality. Unless you disagree with  their double standards, appeals to emotions and use of post modernist bs to prop up their fallacy ridden screeds.

Then be prepared for an avalanche of ad hominid attacks.Their favorite go-to being you’re the worst person in the world, ever. Oh and you couldn’t get laid in a whore house if you tried. If you haven’t figured them out in the first five minutes you deserve to deal with these pseudo-intellectual twats.

8. The Con
These posters create fake personas with the intent of scamming people with their sad stories. Other cons have faked having a terminal illness or being from an oppressed group. They then sit aback and bask in the money and adoration. There’s also Cat-fishing. Chances are if you meet a girl who looks like Megan Fox but is fluent in geek; she’s a man, baby.

9.The Addict
Be it sex, drugs, or drama these people have one thing in common. They love playing the victim and will drag you down to their level if you let them.

10.The Perfectionist
Otherwise known as Grammar Nazis. They scourer the interwebs looking for anyone not as learned as they and flame them for their lack of grammarian skills. While this is warranted in extreme cases. Like someone who doesn’t know  the difference between your and you’re; to, too, and two; or its and it’s. In general this is a smokescreen for their main objective: being a pretentious troll.

11. The Narcissist
They have nothing going for them besides a cute face or body and never miss an opportunity to talk about their favorite subject: them. With their pretty- than-thou attitude they’re the first one’s to start slinging ad hominid attacks then get butt hurt when they get called out on their bs.

12. The Bore
While nice enough, talking to a pet rock is more fun.

                                                                                                                                             13.The Basement Dweller                                                                                                                                         They have no higher aspirations in life than getting to the next level in WOW, or ranking up in COD. They often still live at home well into their 30s and beyond. They have more baggage than an airport and expect you to fix everything for them. Run a fast as you can.

14.The Newbie
Young dumb and full of optimism, their souls haven‘t crushed by the machine yet. They mean well but have no fucking idea who they are , what they want or what the world outside their pragmatic bubble is like. Give them a few years and their blinders should fall off.

15. The Pervert
These are the creepy posters who are  old enough to be your grand parents yet see nothing wrong with hitting on you. They never fail to turn the conversation to sex but are always quick to say they were “just kidding” when they cross the line and get called out on it. While there’s nothing wrong with talking about sex and sexuality,  what the hell does that have to do with the deficit or the new iPhone?

I Must Confess

Please don’t fret
No need for distress
You’ll soon be out of that dress
I must confess
I was struck by your beauty.
But it would a dereliction of duty
If I didn’t please your booty.
If you’re feeling naughty
And want to touch my body
Then come on hottie
Lose the clothes
And let’s stem the rose.
I must confess
We’re a hot mess.
Put your head on my breast
And let’s take a rest.
Lest we go into cardiac arrest.
I must confess
Your chest is the best.
Another round of this sex fest?
I must confess
you’re the horniest, yet.

 

Patience and How to Go the Distance

Image by Christian Ferari via sxc.hu
Image by Christian Ferrari via sxc.hu

What are you struggling with? Right now I’m dealing with a lack of patience. Migrating to a new domain has been more difficult than I thought. Going from using blogger to WordPress has been a trying process. The learning curve between the two is steep and will probably require at least a basic familiarity with coding.

I can deal with that. The problem is I want everything perfect now. This is nothing new .I’ve always had a perfectionist streak in me that’s kept me from pursuing things ,because I get frustrated when I don’t live up to my ridiculously high standards.

The pressure to be perfect the first time every time almost killed my passion for writing. Have you ever had an experience where you felt like everything you did was crap? Well that was me. Nothing was ever good enough for me. I’d get discouraged, frustrated and say, “Fuck it, why bother?”

The truth is giving up is the easiest thing in the world to do, especially when you do it before you even start. How many times have you had an idea or made plans to do something, then found some way to not follow through on it, because you didn’t see instant results?

Writing and working out are big areas where I fall prey to this. The need to see results for my efforts and not has led to spirals of self doubt and depression. “What’s the point of it all if the results are lackluster?” I say to myself.

The point is writing and life in general isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. You can’t jump in without training and expect to come in first. You have to pace yourself.

Start small and build on it everyday, until you’re ready for that big race. A long the way you’ll stumble, get up and fall again. But you continue until you’ve reach the finish line.

Sometimes we get so caught up in getting there we miss what’s happening along the way. So may be I’m not as far along as I like right now, but everyday I push myself to do a little better, to learn something new about writing, and write for at least thirty minutes a day.

Some days I have no clue what to write about or don’t want to at all, but I force myself to sit still and produce something. Even if it’s destined for the trash I still learned something in the process.

There are times I get stuck or lose track of what I want to say but the point is to continue until I’ve reached the finish line. So the next you fell the urge to sprint, remember you’re running a marathon.

Stranger than Fiction: How Not to Smother Your Message

 

Fiction is the mirror we use to reflect truths about ourselves and the world that we dare not speak for fear of rejection or disbelief. Within every story there is a grain of truth about life and us. Whether you realize this or not your work reveals more about you than you know.

For some it’s the want to change the past so they fictionalize it in an attempt to heal old wounds and make things how they “should” be. For others it’s about addressing the ills of society and calling the corruption they see.

Whatever the case fiction provides the space needed to explore these avenues as well as give an outlet to our subconscious mind. In the course of writing thoughts and emotions will well up and things you thought you were over may rear their head. This can block you from writing if you don’t acknowledged and address them.

Without noticing it more of yourself creeps into your work. A little of this is good but not to the point your message is overpowered and your characters are straggled because you won’t let them act autonomously.

The urge to make your protagonist an idealized version of yourself can be hard to resist. It’s all too easy to give into the seductive siren’s call. Who wouldn’t want to be the center of their own fantasy world?

While it’s true writers put a little piece of themselves into every character, it’s also true you can make them too much like you.

If your characters tend to think. act, and talk like you, chances are you’re using them to act out unresolved issue in your life. this doesn’t mean your characters can’t share similarities with you, but make sure their wants, needs, and aspirations are front and center.

Us writers can be a very selfish lot. We can get so enamored with ourselves we start believe everything that happens to us is noteworthy. It’s not.

Yes write about the birth of a child, the death of a loved, or some other life changing event or time you struggled through.

But save the rants about your boss chewing you out and the barista coping a snotty attitude with you for your journal. Because no one, sans your friends and family, is going to read it.

In the same vein we can become so in love with our writing we fail to see the flaws in it. How any of you out there make excuses for not putting your work out there because you don’t want to deal with rejection? How many of you have said the words, “Well I write for me so it doesn’t have to have perfect, spelling, grammar, syntax or structure.”?

That’s fine if it’s what you want to do but if your goal is to get published then you need to think about pleasing other people. This isn’t a call to compromise your creative vision to chase the latest trend, but you do have to be aware that what appeals to you won’t always appeal to a larger audience.

If you’re not aware of current and past trends in your genre you can spend countless hours slaving away on a book only to find there’s little if any interest in it. if you find yourself in this position then take heart because you’re not alone and you can always salvage something of worth in the rewrite process.

The point is while you may be the center of the world you’ve created, outside of it that is not so. You have to earn your way in and stay there by putting out content that people want, enjoy, and can’t get anywhere else. And this stars by being true to yourself while being open and respectful of others. Not by acting like you’re the greatest thing to happen to the written word ever.

But Not Too Gay

We all wear masks even if we don’t realize it. Sociologist Irvine Gauffman asserts all interactions are performances which we play. Putting our best face to the world and hiding who we really are behind the curtains. For a long time LGBTQ people have had to hide who they are for fear of violent reprisal, and though things have certainly changed for the better many of us still have to wear masks.

Often in literature and other mediums LGBTQ characters are forced to hide for fear of alienating audiences. Sure they can have relationships and even families, but only in the context of adhering to the hetero-normative dichotomy.

Case in point the current trend in male-male romance written by woman for woman in which a formerly straight male falls for the new effeminate gay guy in his life. For all purposes the effeminate guy is a woman with a dick. He talks about his feelings, is into fashion, and resents his lover isn’t as emotionally open as he.

Sorry but while LGBTQ people run the spectrum of mannerisms the problem with these characters is they play into age old stereotypes. Namely gay guys are actually women trapped in male bodies and that you can choose your sexuality.

Moreover same sex relationships, while similar to their straight counterparts carry with them unique challenges and dynamics that can’t be brushed aside because the author doesn’t know how or care to explore them.

You can’t take a relationship between two guys and map it to a straight one because neither of them is female. You have to address things like how their family and friends will react to them and also the giant issue in the room that’s avoided altogether in these stories.

The main issue with these stories is that they’re not realistic. Most of the plot revolves around them getting together, sharing chaste kisses and spooning. While that’s nice and all it’s not true to life.

Go to any site geared towards guys into guys and you’ll see the meme most repeated is where are decent guys who care about more than hooking up. So to treat sex like it never happens, is something only mentioned in conversation, or happens off screen is ridiculous.

If the issue is ignorance about the bedroom behavior of these couplings than there are plenty of people these authors could ask to get the details right.

However I think this is more a case of but not too gay. They’re fine with reading and writing about same sex relationships, so long as it doesn’t get outside their comfort zone. If that’s their prerogative, whatever.

But these authors should remember they’re writing about a group of people who exist and are still struggling for acceptance and visibility. While I think it’s great we’ve gotten to a point some straight people are cool with reading about LGBTQ characters there is still a genuine lack of diversity in the characters displayed. Not just in terms of their mannerisms, but also their race, geographic locations, worldviews and class status.

The main thing I take issue with is the commercialization of us, as if LBGTQ people are the latest commodity to be packaged and sold to the masses to make them hip and spice up their vanilla lives. Sorry but we are not some exotic novelty for your amusement or curiosity.

Our lives are often wrought with obstacles you couldn’t imagine and it’s belittling when you appropriate our narratives without giving them or us the respect we deserve. This isn’t to say no one but LGBTQ people can write about us, but if you’re going to do it then get it right.

Remember when people read your stories they’re not just looking to be entertained but to find validation in who they are. So when they seldom find characters like them it makes them feel like they don’t matter. The last thing any writer ought to do is alienate readers, especially ones who are already marginalized as it is.