The Sisterhood of Evil Mutants by SJ Whitby is the fourth entry in The Cute Mutants Series and is decidedly darker than the previous books. Volume four finds Dylan and company in West Haven, a clandestine refuge for mutants.
And while Whitby introduces several new characters, they reduce most of them to either cannon fodder or bit players, which was a shame.
I also didn’t like Whitby’s choice to split the Cute Mutants into two groups later in the book, as it robbed the story of the camaraderie and group dynamics that made the previous books so fun to read.
Dylan, Dani, Emma, Alyse, and newcomer Feral (a hybrid of Wolverine and Beast from the X-Men) form the first group and begin robbing banks connected to DainTree, the in-universe version of Google/Amazon. They then donate that money to various charitable causes to improve the PR of Mutant kind, after a group of Mutants claiming to be affiliated with Dylan and the Cute Mutants carry out a terrorist attack on Washington DC.
The second team; that stays behind in West Haven; comprises Lou, Maddison, Gladdy, and Katie.
This could have worked if there were chapters following the second group. Instead, readers only follow Dylan’s group, leaving you wondering about the safety of those back in West Haven.
I enjoyed the political intrigue within West Haven and wished we saw more of Dylan and Dani locking head with Mystic and Far Sight, members of the council that decide what issues to bring up for votes, before the group split.
Dylan’s interaction with memory-erasing therapist Ray, were also nice to read as while they talked about Dylan’s trauma and other issues, Ray also gave them cryptic clues to the dangers hiding in West Haven and the machinations of the council.
It was also nice that we finally learned the mystery behind Emma, her powers, and her parents you in this book. Though, I predicted the plot twist near the end and thought the ending edged into Deus ex machina territory with how several characters’ deaths were reversed, like it was nothing.
Overall, while I did like this book, it wasn’t as fun as the previous ones and it has become clear to me anyone who isn’t Dylan or in their immediate friend circle doesn’t matter, which is sad as it was the OG team that initially drew me into the series.
I will read the next in the series, but I’ll lower my expectations re: other characters getting their time to shine. I give Cute Mutants Vol. 4 4.0 out of 5.0 stars.
Sanctum by Delizhia Jenkins Follows Kenya, the last of a line of vampire hunters, as she attempts to destroy Adam, the original vampire.
While I liked the premise of this story, it sorely needed more editing. My first issue was the copious amounts of flashbacks, so much so, Delizhia spent little time on the plot in the current storyline.
Second, was the lack of a distinctive voice, which wouldn’t have been such an issue if the story hadn’t used alternating first-person POV.
To make matters worse, Delizhia constantly switched between present tense and past tense, often in the same sentence. And her sentences were full of redundancy, and she had the crutch of over relying on adverbs to prop up her weak sentences.
I also felt Kenya, Trenton, and the other characters lacked any depth and because of this and the issues I mentioned above, I didn’t care about them.
While the second half of the book wasn’t as riddled with these issues, it still wasn’t that enjoyable. I often skimmed or skipped passages to just get to the end, which was so predictable.
Overall, I felt like I was reading a first or second draft, then a finished novel, and can only recommend this book if you rent it from your library or read on Kindle Unlimited for free.
Otherwise, skip it.
I give Sanctum: A Last Vampire Huntress Novel 2.0 out of 5.0 stars.
Draw the Line by Laurent Linn is a gay YA coming-of-age set in small -town Texas and follows closeted sixteen-year-old Adrian Piper as he learns to stand up for himself and others against the homophobic bullies and administrators at his high school.
Initially, I hated Adrian and this book and dnf’d it years ago, but lately I’ve been on a queer super hero kick and revisited it now that I’m a little older.
In hindsight, I realize my visceral hate was due to Adrian reminding me too much of myself, e.g. his internalized homophobia and femephobia and being a shy geeky kid with a superhero alter ego.
Graphite, the main character of Adrian’s comic, was interesting, and I loved how the comics broke up/introduced the chapters. The artwork was also good and reminiscent of Webtoon comics I’ve read.
Overall, I liked the plot of the story, but I had some issues.
First, Adrian’s friend Audrey, was the sole Black main character and often described as loud, bossy, and angry. She also had no role outside of helping Adrian and advancing his storyline.
Second, while I found Adrian’s relationship with Lev cute and wholesome, it came off as forced and rushed as they go from complete strangers to boyfriends in a few weeks. I also thought him kissing Adrian in the cafeteria where anyone could stumble upon them didn’t make sense as they were both closeted, and he did not know if Adrian even liked him.
Third, given the hate crime Doug committed against Kobe, which incited the story, and the abundance of videos of said hate crime, it should have been a much bigger deal. And Doug’s police-sergeant father shouldn’t have been able to make it go away as easily as he did.
I also thought Kobe was little more than a plot device and could have been used so much more to help Adrian come to terms with his sexuality and femmephobia.
I will say I’m glad Linn didn’t use the cliché of the homophobic bully who’s secretly gay. However, the reason for (spoiler) sending messages to Adrian was never explained.
Overall, I give Draw the Line 5.0 out of 5.0 stars and recommend it if you like queer geeky teens, comics, and superheroes.
Last Thursday marked one year since the release of my debut YA dark Sci-fi/fantasy novel, Palingenesis. This post will explore the lessons I’ve learned from this experience, and I hope you find it helpful.
Those of you’ve who’ve followed me on Twitter (@silentbutcuddly) know I worked on this book for years, which leads me to my first lesson.
Lesson 1: Patience
Like any activity, it takes time to hone your writing skills. Sure, it sucked seeing my feed filled with folks talking about their published works, but I wasn’t there yet. And if you aren’t either, that’s fine.
I got my start writing maudlin poems in middle school, then later wrote equally bad fan fiction.
My point being: take your time and allow yourself to write awful crap, break all the rules of storytelling, characterization, and world building. I know I did (lol).
Also, don’t fall into the trap I did of thinking your writing has to be perfect every time the first time or you suck. It’s a learning process, so be gentle with yourself. This assumes you actually write, which leads to my next point.
Lesson 2: Writers Write
One of the major reasons it took me so long to release my first book was because I didn’t write. I spent a good 3-5 years reading and watching everything I could about the various aspects of writing, but I never wrote. And when I did, it was only in spurts when I felt inspired.
The result?
I didn’t cement the knowledge all the knowledge I learned, and for years I put off writing the story that was in my head because I feared I wasn’t good enough and no one would like it (fears I still have, but I’ve learned not to let them rule me.).
Then at 25 I had a turning point: I discovered Geoff Goins, his Tribe Writer Course, and the community that grew around him and his work. And it gave me the courage to stop playing at being a writer and actually write.
And while I wrote a ton in the ensuing years, I rarely showed my work to anyone, as my ego was too fragile to handle criticism, and my writing ultimately suffered for it.
Lesson 3: Don’t be Afraid of Putting Yourself and Your Work Out There
Like many writers, I’m an introvert and shy away from large crowds and meeting new people (sans my college days, when I frequented night clubs and got drunk on a weekly basis). But being a writer, especially an indie writer, requires you constantly pitch yourself and your work to people if you want to build buzz for your book.
I’m still working on this, but if I could do one thing over, it’s this. I’d reach out to more local media, book bloggers, and book influencers on social media.
I’d have also joined writing groups sooner to help me improve my writing.
I didn’t work up the courage to seek one out until I approached thirty, when my therapist suggested I do so. They called themselves the Mad Hatters and met at Affirmation, a local LGBTQ+ center.
I was terrified the first time I went there, but everyone was kind, and over the next several meetings my confidence rose, and I started sharing my work and am still friends with some of the members to this day.
Unfortunately, this group fizzled out after a few years, so I drifted long, tinkering with my WIP, until I joined my current writing group a few years ago.
The group leader, Mychelle, welcomed me immediately and gave me tough love when needed to improve my luck. I credit her and the other members with giving me the final push to publish Palingenesis.
Lesson 4: Write, Revise, Release, Repeat
Image by Felipe Spinola via scop.io
I used to marvel at writers who could work on multiple projects at once, as I could only focus on one story at a time. But I’ve since learned this was an excuse I used to stop myself from releasing my work.
My logic went something like this: if I only focused on one project at a time, I could make it perfect. But the truth is no story will ever be prefect, and this was just a stalling tactic on my part. I’ve now learned to juggle multiple projects and have set myself a publication schedule for the next few years. As of this writing, I have three WIPs in various stages with plans to start two more next year. But what changed?
COVID-19 happened.
Pandemic Panic
Like many of us, Covid turned my world upside down. For the first several months of the pandemic, I was a virtual hermit, only going out to buy groceries or refill my medications, and always masked up (which I continue doing today).
As I mentioned above, I’m an introvert, but after the first month or two or little human contact, my anxiety and depression skyrocketed to the point getting sick and possibly dying were constant thoughts, but as I wrote here, I had an epiphany.
I didn’t want to die without having published anything, so I redirected all that anxiety into finishing my WIP, and I contacted an editor friend on tweeter and submitted my manuscript to them.
My editor’s initial notes weren’t good and amounted to me needing to do a complete rewrite. And ya’ll, it devastated me.
Lesson 5: Dust Yourself Off and Try Again
After I received those editor’s notes, I was tempted to give up, but after I got over myself, I realized a rewrite was an opportunity to improve my book. And I’m glad I chose that route instead of being all butthurt and up in my feelings.
So much of writing, especially for indies, is fraught with setbacks and rejections. But like Aaliah sang, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.”
From personal experience, I know this can be hard to do when your timeline’s full of people talking about their book/TV/movie deals while you’re still an unknown writer.
I’m not gonna lie, I thought Palingenesis would be the next Harry Potter or Percy Jackson. But like I said, my sales reports determined that was a lie.
I had all these expectations, but after it released to no commercial or critical success, it crushed me. I thought about quitting writing.
However, don’t let this discourage you from dreaming big. Yes, keep your expectations for your first book low, but don’t let poor sales stop you from writing the next book and the one after that.
When I calmed down, I told myself one book won’t make or break me. And it won’t you either. Click here to read a post I wrote a while back on staying positive during your publication journey.
So, I’m working on other stories, and it might take a while, but eventually I’ll find success. And I know you will too.
Lesson Six: Success Looks Different for Everyone
There’s a maxim that says writers need to have published at least twenty books to earn enough income to be full-time writers. But success is different for everyone. While books may be one writer’s only source of incomes, others might do speaking engagements, classroom visits, be writing coaches or editors on the side. And most writers have day jobs.
I know of indie authors who also make comics/manga and video games/board games based on their stories. My point being, don’t limit yourself to one medium. Define what success is for you, the means of achieving that, set goals, and take steps to achieve them.
One way I plan to build my readership and make extra money is by publishing short stories on Amazon for $1-2 each. I also plan to do book signings at local libraries once things with COVID-19 settle down and apply to book festivals and anime/comic cons to sell my books. I’m also planning to get certified as a copy editor and developmental editor in the next few years.
But all of this would be pointless if I didn’t have a greater reason for writing.
Lesson 7: Your Reason for Being a Writer Must be Greater than Yourself
Interrogation point in digital thumb print
The starving artist is a cliché for a reason; most books only sell a few hundred copies in their lifetime and most writers, indie and traditionally published, earn less than $10,000 a year. So, if money is your sole motivation to become a writer, prepare yourself for a world of disappointment.
I learned this the hard way. The truth is people release hundreds of books every day, and even with marketing and a ton of luck it’s rare to make it big, especially as a debut indie author. So, your reason for writing must be bigger than financial gain, bigger than yourself, or like so many others, you’ll lose your passion and quit.
As I’ve previously mentioned, when sales of Palingenesis didn’t meet my expectations, I pondered quitting writing and doing something else with my life. But then I remembered why I started writing in the first place.
Coming of age in the late 90s/early 2000s, there were few positive depictions of LGBTQ+ folks and fewer still of geeky Black and brown queer people like me. So, I decided to change that by filling the world with all the stories I wished were around when I was a kid.
And I cling to this raison d’etre when things aren’t going well in my writing or personal life, because it’s not about me and getting my ego stroked.
It’s about all the LGBTQ+ youths of color out there starving to see themselves and their narratives in the media they consume. It’s about affirming they are just as worthy of dignity, love, and respect, that they too can be heroes and heroines; and that, yes, their lives matter.
You too must also find your why and return to it again and again when the world knocks you on your ass, because trust me, it will.
Look within and honestly ask yourself what impact on the world do you want your books to have. And go from there.
An excellent exercise for discovering your why is to craft a mission statement like businesses do. Start by listing all your hopes and goals, then drill down into what’s most important to you, and refine it until you’ve laser-focused on why you write.
This may take several tries, but once you’re done, print it out and post it somewhere you’ll see it often, so you can turn to it during those dark times in your life and remind yourself what you’re working towards.
Conclusion
The advent of the internet, e-books and e-readers, and self-publishing platform like Amazon’s KDP and IngramSpark have allowed anyone to become a writer. But competition for readers has never been fiercer. Add in the ever-increasing myriad of other things vying for people’s attention and it’s a miracle books are as popular as they are.
It’s difficult being a writer, especially a debut indie author. And if I had it to do over again, I would have lowered my expectations, started much sooner, and reached out to more people.
I hope you learn from my mistakes and your debut goes better than mine did.
As for me? I plan to take the lessons I’ve learned and use them to help me streamline the process for my next book release.
Thanks for reading and have a great day.
Call to Action
If you’ve enjoyed this post and found it helpful, please share it on social media. And if you’re a seasoned writer, add any useful tips or lessons you’ve learned in the comments.
Also, personalized signed paperbacks of Palingenesis are still available here, while supplies last.
The Demon Queer Saga by SJ Whitby is the third entry in the Cute Mutants series and picks up where book two left off.
Now running Jinteki Industries, Dylan and company have turned the evil corporation into a force for good, creating a haven for mutants and their families. However, they must contend with Abigail Tanner, a member of America’s Extrahuman Military Intelligence Department (EMID), that seeks to take control of the Cute Mutants and their operations.
Dylan also has to deal with the pressures of being a mutant leader and role model; and Violet, who’s obsessed with Dylan, can teleport and turn her fingers into blades, and whose stated goal is to kill Dylan.
If that weren’t enough, the Cute Mutants also must fight off Quietus, a group of religious fanatics whose goal is the extermination of all mutants.
Though this book is darker than the previous one, I loved how Whitby depicted Dylan’s reactions to the pressures of leadership and their moral struggles with how to handle the threats of Violet, EMID, and Quietus. I also loved the evolving mystery behind Emma and her powers, and those of the other Cute Mutants.
As with the previous book, Whitby introduced more mutants. However I did feel Lou was once again pushed to the sidelines in favor of showcasing the new mutants and Dylan and her friend group.
It was nice to see Dylan and the others maturing a bit, but I still thought some of their actions stretched my suspension of disbelief, given how dangerous they know the people after them were.
If I had any other criticism it’s that while several characters died in the ensuing fights with EMID and Quietus, I felt like Dylan and the other main characters were never in any danger due to plot armor.
I was also high-key angry the book ended on such a massive cliffhanger. Thankfully the next book is available, otherwise I’d be hella pissed.
I give Cute Mutants Vol. 3 5.0 out of 5.0 stars, and highly recommend it. If you liked the first book, I strongly suggest buying the rest in the series as they only get better.
For over a decade now, superhero movies have dominated the box office.
But they have been a thing since the 1920s with the Zorro movies, and then enjoyed a resurgence in the ‘70s and ‘80s with the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, the Indiana Jones movies, and Star Wars Episode 6-8.
Then in the ‘90s there were several misses, such as Captain America (1990), the Michael Keaton Batman Movies, the spate of Videogame movies like Street Fighter (1994), Mortal Kombat (1995) and its sequels and Spawn (1997).
In the 2000s came the Tobey Maguire Spiderman trilogy and the Bryan Singer X-Men trilogy and more video game movies like Blood Rayne (2005) and House of the Dead (2008). As the decade closed, we got our first Marvel movies: The Incredible Hulk (2008) and Captain America (2008).
Soon DC joined the party and Disney got in the mix with its purchase of Lucas Films and Fox’s entertainment business, and they and Marvel have been battling to see who can produce the most profitable movies.
But why have superhero movies proven so popular?
I argue there a three main reasons for this: the decrease of job stability and wealth accumulation because of globalization and the wealthy disparity between the 1% and the 99%, the distrust and destruction of civil institutions and politicians, and the victim narrative and the need for an authoritarian father figure.
I’ll discuss each in turn.
The 1% and Power Fantasies
Per this CNBC article from 2021, the top 1% have 16 times the wealth of the bottom 50%, but how did this happen and what does it have to do with superhero movies?
First, the answer to America’s wealth disparity is simple: neoliberalism and globalization.
Beginning in the ‘80s with Regan and his trickle-down economics, the powers that be enacted policies that drastically lowered the tax rates of the wealthiest 1% while raising those of working-class folks and keep their wages flat. All while productivity skyrocketed.
They also took measures to bust unions, and businesses that could, eliminated their workforce via automation or outsourced those jobs to countries where they could pay their workers slave wages.
The result being, a family could no longer survive on the minimum wage and both parents now had to work, often multiple jobs, with little job security.
If this weren’t bad enough, corporations legally bribed politicians on both sides to write laws in their favor, shifting the power from the people to them as they sought to destroy every public institution they couldn’t privatize or run for profit (see the US Post Office and higher education).
Broke, overworked, tired, and unable to get a higher education because of the staggering cost of college, is it any wonder people want to watch something where they can fantasize about being omnipotent or close to it?
Power Fantasies
Enter superhero movies, premade for such a thing as they are ultimately power fantasies.
What’s a power fantasy? you might ask.
In simplest terms, a power fantasy is any media that features larger than live characters who can do things like take on an army by themselves or punch out a god. They aren’t meant to be taken seriously and are quote: “something you can watch and turn your brains off.”
But the problem with turning your brain off is you’re not aware of what’s happening around you, and the 1% takes advantage of this.
I’m not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but have you ever stopped to ask why the media is pushing these movies so hard, beyond they’re safe money makers?
As George Carlin said, “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
The truth is, those in power don’t want us to be woke; they want us dumbed down, so we don’t realize how they’ve robbed us blind and turned us into wage slaves. They want us in a constant state of fear or anger, so we don’t see the sleight of hand they’re doing to usher in fascism and a police state.
They don’t want us to think so we don’t question why the powers that be aren’t held to the same laws as us. But most of all, they want us asleep, so we don’t see they’ve ridged the game against us and we revolt.
If we’re asleep, waiting for a Superman to save us, then we won’t see the Lex Luthers stabbing us in the back.
Superhero Movies and The Victim Narrative
What’s the one constant of superhero movies? Regardless of which movie you watch, they all feature said superheroes saving people who are powerless to save themselves.
But have you ever stopped to ask why?
It’s because these movies train us to be victims, teach us we can’t do anything ourselves and need a strongman to save us.
Think I’m off base?
Look at the mystique surrounding Hitler during his rise to power. The Nazi diehards believed Hitler was their savior, chosen by God to save the white Aryan race.
Now compare what those on the extreme right believe re: Trump. They believe he’s their god-king-emperor come to rescue them from the evils of CRT and those filthy LGBTQ folks trying to grooming their children.
In both cases, you had a population that felt disenfranchised and turned to an authoritarian to save them, much like the people in superhero movies turn to those in capes.
Enter the victim narrative, which says we aren’t responsible for what happens to us: God, the state, or insert your favorite politician/celebrity will save us.
While we’d like to think of ourselves are highly capable under pressure, the truth is everyone is a hero until the bullets fly. This is why the victim narrative is so insidious; it allows people to abdicate responsibility for their actions and life to others and thus robs them of their power and creates the conditions for the rise of fascism.
Why bother doing the hard work of effecting change, when you can sit on your ass every day and bitch about things online? Why bother running for office when you can wait for someone to do it? After all, you’re powerless.
So, when a politician in the mold of Trump, Le Pen, or Erdogan comes along, promising to fix everything if only you give the power to do so, people line up to vote for them. They readily relinquish their freedoms hoping to be saved from the evils of the world. What’s a little police state if it means you can feel safe, working your dead-end jobs until you’re fired or die? Whichever comes first.
Often people give politicians superhuman, almost godly qualities, much like the characters from superhero movies. How often have you heard some variation of, “Don’t worry. X will save us!”, as though they’re some modern messiah?
The truth is people are quick to ascribe to others the spark of divinity within them, which brings me to my next point.
Superheroes, Politics, and Religion
For those unaware, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created Superman in 1933 in a self-published magazine that failed to sell in their Ohio town before he took off in later years. Both being Jewish, their creation Superman has many messianic qualities. From his super strength, speed, intelligence, and near invulnerability to his Kryptonian name Kal-El, Superman has all these divine qualities to him. Even the name Superman evokes one beyond that of a mere mortal.
And some heroes like Thor, and Wonder Woman are literal gods. Even fully human heroes like Batman have monikers that evoke the supernatural: The Dark Knight, The Bat, The World’s Greatest Detective. And this link between superheroes and religion has been acknowledge by comic book creators as in 2015’s Justice League: Gods and Monsters, a direct-to-DVD animated film set in an alternate universe where the Justice League is an authoritarian group that enforces justice by any means necessary for the good of the people.
People are in awed and fear them in much the same way they do the Abrahamic God.
And like God, superheroes traditionally come in two types: those that do everything except kill people, like Batman, and those that do kill like Wolverine and Deadpool.
Of the latter, they’ll still considered the good guys because they kill bad people, like the God of the Bible. The reason I bring this up is because of how entrenched Christianity is in Western Civilization, thus how primed western audiences are to messianic imagery and rhetoric surrounding those in powers and those attempting to gain power.
When people like Marjorie Taylor Greene or Obama invoke God in their speeches, what they’re telling their followers is, “I’m the chosen one you’ve been waiting for. Pick me! I’ll save you from X.”
Again and again, we see politicians projecting themselves as being modern superheroes here to liberate people from the ills-de-jour. And they often win, because like the superheroes and the God of the Bible they’re imitating, they play to a binary view of morality: we’re good, they’re evil. We’re right, they’re wrong. We’re smart, they’re dumb, etc. And because they are from the ingroup, anything they do wrong, people often handwave it away because they’re doing it for the greater good.
Where have we heard that before?
When God does something we’d disagree with, were it anyone else, the old reply is, “He works in mysterious ways.” And when superheroes do something morally questionable, rarely are they called out for it or suffer the consequences because they saved the day.
Blind faith in anything, be it God or a politician, does no one any good, and reenforces a victim mentality. It also teaches us to be reactive instead of proactive. Holding out someone will save us instead of saving ourselves.
We become bystanders, afraid to act because we’ve given up our power to others. And ultimately, it teaches us to be irresponsible for ourselves because God/politician/hero is in control and will fix everything.
But you must be a true believer.
Fanboyism and Jihadism
Another thing the Abrahamic religions have in common with comic book fans is their militantism. As God is the same today tomorrow and yesterday, all attempts to change superheroes have resulted in some fan responding with vitriol, including death threats to the writers who dare change their beloved comics (see Comicsgate and the controversy over Iceman coming out as gay, making Thor and Iron man female, and Captain America Black).
Ultimately, it’s this tribalism in both groups that lends itself well to the rise of fascism and authoritarians.
But how do superhero movies do this?
Plot? What Plot?
All superhero movies are effectively the same; they’re either origin stories or about them facing an enemy, being overpowered, only to regroup and win in the end. But more than that, they focus on brawn over brains, driving home the message might makes right.
Seldom do they focus on the consequences of wrecking half a city to beat the villain of the day. And when they do, it’s only for the first act or so, then it’s right back to fighting the villain de-jour.
And when they do focus on the psychological and physical trauma these characters go through, it’s often part of their origin story, a la Spiderman. Hell, Batman raison d’etre is because of his failure to address the childhood trauma of witnessing his parents being murdered. Like a good third or more of superheroes could use therapy on the regular.
Moreover, they are generic, bland, and safe, rarely getting higher than a pg-13 rating. Even highbrow movies like The Dark Knight and its sequel still had plenty of explosions and fight scenes to keep the masses entertained.
And it’s this genericness that allows people to turn their brains off and put themselves in the cape of their favorite hero, completely unaware of all the messages and lessons these movies are priming them for.
Conclusion
I’m not saying superheroes movies are inherently bad, but that they contain some bad messages and lessons that we need to be aware of. The truth is, they are just one prong in the elite’s arsenal, who want us dumb, angry, and asleep so we don’t realize they’re screwing us all.
But we can change that if we wake the fuck up.
We don’t need any deity or superhero to save us. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, and it times we acted like it.
Inside us all is the ember of a hero, a phoenix waiting to rise from the ashes of our fears. If only we are brave enough to pick ourselves up and fight the good fight.
Thank you for reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and be sure to share this post with your friends if it resonated with you. Also, sign up to my newsletter for this and other writings.
Cute Mutants Vol. 2: Young, Gifted & Queer is the second entry in SJ Whitby’s YA fantasy series about a group of New Zealand teens who gain superpowers after kissing the same girl at a party.
It picks up several months after book one and finds Dylan and the Cute Mutants under the control of evil corporation Yaxley, who wants to use them as child soldiers for various missions, including capturing and killing other mutants.
While book one was mostly fluffy, book two took a much darker turn, including the deaths of several characters. And speaking of characters, we’re introduced to several new mutants, such as Katie, aka Dragon, who spits fire, and Alex aka Keepaway, a nonbinary teleporter.
I thought each of these new mutants had distinct powers and personalities, though I do think Katie got more than her fair share of page time at the expense of other characters, such as Lou who was barely in the book despite being an OG Cute Mutant.
I also thought the ending was insane, especially the revelation that other countries have mutants and will be after Dylan and her group since they’re now rogue.
However, Bancroft, Valen and Aurora; the Cute Mutants’ handlers at Yaxley; appeared one-note, and the way the kids’ parents reacted to Yaxley effectively kidnapping them to do shady stuff felt unrealistic.
The evolution of the OG mutants’ powers was interesting to read, and I loved the relationship Dylan formed with Onimaru, a samurai sword said to have slain demons. And I found their reaction to being made slaves of the government rang true.
Though, I thought Dylan acted immature, like when she got jealous of the bond Katie and Pear formed, or when Bancroft removed her as team leader for disobeying orders and replaced her with Dani. But she’s only eighteen, so she still has a lot of growing up to do.
I liked the sex scenes between Dani and Dylan as they were the perfect amount of use your imagination and fade to black without being too salacious.
The ending to the book was the definition of crazy; characters dropped left and right and by the last pages I did not know how the series would progress from there, but I’m hooked and bought the rest of the series.
I give Cute Mutants Vol. 2: Young, Gifted & Queer 5.0 out of 5 stars.
Cute Mutants Vol. 1: Mutant Pride by SJ Whitby is the first entry in the Cute Mutants series of YA fantasy novels about a group of teens who gain superpowers after kissing the same girl at a party.
Initially, I found Dylan’s personality off-putting, but slowly I came to love her geeky adorable ass and the rest of the Cute Mutants.
I did think the pop culture references were a bit much and sometimes came off as a crutch for lack of worldbuilding/characterization. And because it’s told in first person with Dylan as the POV character, a lot of the other characters come off a little flat, especially Dani who’s barely in this first book.
However, I did like all the characters, and they acted like how teens are supposed to act: reckless, arrogant, and messy.
This is especially true when it came to the relationships. Lou and Dylan are best friends turned lovers who are the other’s only friend. And when the cute mutants get their powers and Dylan befriends them, Lou’s jealousy was understandable, if a bit over the top.
Likewise, the love polygon between Dylan, Lou, Alyse, and Dani felt authentic without veering into soap opera territory.
I loved that Dylan and many of the other Cute Mutants were LGBTQ+ and how organically Whitby incorporated that into the mutant plot.
Another thing I loved was how the characters had to face the consequences of their actions and deal with real world moral and ethical decisions. So often in stories like this, issues like mortality, collateral damage, and interference from police/government agencies are either ignored outright or severely downplayed.
My biggest complaint is that the book’s antagonist, Tremor, was very two-dimensional and at times was outright cartoonishly villainous in his motives and actions.
That said, I liked this book a lot and already bought the next in the series. I highly recommend this book if you like YA books with sarcastic geeky humor and diverse queer characters.
I give Cute Mutants Vol. 1: Mutant Pride 5.0 out of 5.0 stars.
Today’s post will explore love languages and how we can use them in our writing to express characters’ emotions.
Without further ado, let’s begin.
Love Languages
Popularized by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, love languages are how people show their affection for others.
According to Chapman, everyone expresses and receives love in one of five ways or languages, which I’ll discuss next.
First up is Words of Affirmation, i.e. compliments. If this is your love language, then your heart flitters when your significant other says they love you or gives you words of encouragement. To you, words speak louder than actions.
Next is Quality Time. In this love language, it’s all about spending time with your partner and showering them with your undivided attention. If this is your love language, then a quiet night in with a candlelight dinner and massage would be your jam.
Third is Gift Giving, in which people show and express their love by giving presents. If this is you, then your heart swells at the thought of your partner dropping mad stacks on you, or you doing the same for them.
Fourth is Acts of Service, whereby you do things for others. For examples, growing up, my mother would often go without eating, so I and my siblings had enough to eat. On a less serious end, this could mean changing your partner’s oil, mowing the lawn, or doing the dishes for them.
Last is Touch, where you express your affections via hugs, holding hands, cuddling, kissing and sex.
While Chapman argues people have one love language, I am a mix of Touch and Acts of Service. But how can we use love languages in fiction to express our characters’ feelings for each other without having them constantly shouting “I love you!”?
I’ll explore this next.
Uses in Fiction
But why is it important to have your characters do and say things other than I love you to show they care about each other?
Several reasons.
First, it comes back to the old age of show don’t tell. If you don’t show us two or more characters love each other, then no amount of I-love-you’s or kissing fests will prove it otherwise. You must build the chemistry between the love interests, and this is where the love languages come into play.
Second, use of love languages allows you to show the love interests’ building relationship. You can start by having characters do acts of service for each other or hold hands, then transition to cuddling or hugging as they’re relationship intensifies.
Third, using love languages makes for richer reading.
No one wants to read endless pages of characters declaring their undying love for each other if that’s the only way they express their feelings. For example, in my debut novel Palingenesis, Travis expresses love via acts of service, while his boyfriend Josh expresses it through touch. This makes for complications as Travis is touch adverse.
Fourth, they allow you to flesh out character personalities. For example, you could have a stoic character whose love language is Words of affirmation, or you could have a shy character whose love language is Touch or acts of Services and makes a grand romantic gesture in public.
Fifth, we can use them to show how a character cares about someone by having their actions at odds with their words.
An example of this in anime/manga is the tsundere trope, where one character starts out gruff/mean to everyone else, but slowly warms to their love interest. Travis is this to a T, while Josh is a textbook yandere, a character that starts off sweet and innocent before morphing into an obsessive often psychotic one.
Another example from my childhood is Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold, who bullies Arnold, yet has a shrine to him in her closet made of his discarded trash. There’s even an episode where she sees a therapist who points out how obsessed she is with Arnold and asks if she loves him.
Helga blows her off, but it’s clear from her actions and words she loves Arnold.
Other examples of this include how the writers of Supernatural often had Dean and Castiel joke about being boyfriends or had other characters comment on their close relationship for ten years, culminating in Castiel’s confession to Dean that he loved him in the second from last episode of the series.
They promptly sent Castiel to super hell, but my point is the confession wouldn’t have the effect it did had the writers not used loved languages; most notable by having Dean and Castiel sacrifice themselves for each other several times over the years.
Contrast this with Harry and Ginny, whose relationship had zero chemistry or page time dedicated to it. Harry goes from not even noticing her in Order of the Phoenix, to being obsessed with her in Half-Blood Prince. Hell, Harry and Draco had more chemistry. And even though I’m a Harry/Hermione shipper, I readily admit Hermione and Ron had more chemistry than Harry and Ginny.
Sorry, rant over.
But this leads me to my next point.
Romantic Tension
As I mentioned above, we can use love languages can to build romantic tension, as done in series like The X-Files, Law & Order: SVU, Bones, and other shows built on will they or won’t they.
If Booth and Brenan didn’t rush into danger to save each other, if Mulder and Scully didn’t gaze longingly at each other, their eventual confessions of love wouldn’t have the same effect it did.
By using Touch, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, etc. the writers could keep audiences hooked for years.
But not all love need be romantic.
Ace/Aro Rep
We can also use love languages to express platonic relationships, too. One of my favorite platonic ships is Yusuke Urameshi and Kuwabara Kazuma. Heterosexual platonic life mates, they show their affection through Touch, namely fighting each other. Hie and Karama also get a shout out as demon bros for life. Goku and Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z are similar, in that they start out as rivals before becoming friends who would sacrifice themselves for the other.
But my all-time favorite platonic relationship is that between the boys from Stand By Me. There’s something so wholesome about watching them laugh and joke around with and stand up for each other. A lot of writers could learn from this movie.
But I digress.
Conclusion
Let me end this by stating emphatically, there is nothing wrong with having your characters say, “I love you.” But this shouldn’t be the only way they express their feelings for each other. Have them run the other a bath, do their taxes, rub their feet after a long day at the cash register, buy them feminine products when they’re low, give them a pep talk when they’re down, buy them their favorite chocolates or that outfit they’ve been eyeing, and say I love you!
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The Adventures of Trash Rat by Daniel Aegan is a coming of age story about Almond, the eponymous trash rat, and his raccoon best friend, Oumar. They must go on a quest to destroy a magic ring Almond’s sister found.
I was skeptical about this story at first, because it’s not the type of book I usually read. But I’m glad I took a chance on it. I loved how Aegan blended philosophy and character development with his world building, so as Almond grows, so too does his and the reader’s understanding of Raminath.
I also loved the relationship between Almond and Oumar. Almond’s optimism acted as a foil against Oumar’s cynicism, and vice versa. And though you can read their friendship as platonic, there was a ton of a queer subtext between them.
If I had any criticism, it’s that the ended fell a little flat and appeared anticlimactic to me. Also, there was a lot of head hopping.
However, I would love to read more about Almond, Oumar, and Raminath.
I give The Adventures of Trash Rat 4.5 out of 5.0 stars.
With primary season 2022 in full swing here in America, I thought it’d be a good idea to analyze political ads and what lessons they can teach us about storytelling. For those out of the loop, Americans vote for candidates in Congress every six years and the House of representatives every two years.
However, unlike in other countries where campaign spending is capped, in America candidates can spend unlimited funds on ads thanks to Citizens United, in which the Supreme court ruled corporations are people, money is free speech, and thus corporations can donate unlimited money to campaigns, political action committees (PAC) and superPACS. The former of which can donate directly to candidates and coordinate with them, while the latter can’t (but often do anyway).
As a result, in every election cycle, candidates flood Americans with emails asking for donations and bombard us with political ads.
Know Your Audience
But these campaigns don’t throw crap at the wall and see what sticks; they do their research and tailor each ad to a specific demo with a singular message that often boils down to their opponent is bad for X reasons but I’m good for Y reasons. And in recent years with the advent of social media, campaigns have been able to target their ads with laser precision to reach their intended audience, as seen in the 2016 when the Trump campaign used Facebook data harvested from Cambridge Analytica to target democratic voters disillusioned with Hillary Clinton and get them to vote third party.
He also spoke to the feelings of disenfranchisement among older and working-class white people by harkening back to a simpler better time with his slogan, Make America Great Again, often shortened to MAGA.
We also saw this in both Obama’s campaigns where he levied social media to connect with younger voters. In both cases, their ads spoke to their audience, admittedly in vastly different ways.
But how?
By speaking to their base, the hard-core fans who will go beyond voting for them to canvassing, calling, and taking people to the polls to vote.
How does this apply to writing?
First, if you don’t find your base, your tribe, you may sell a few copies, but that’s where it stops. There will be little word of mouth, and few if any reviews. But by finding your base, you’ll have a crew of readers who will ride or die for you and your work and who won’t stop talking about you.
Second, if you don’t identify your base, any marketing and ads you do will fizzle out.
As I mentioned above, political campaigns may seem like they want everyone to vote for them, but they actually want higher voter turnout among their base than their opponents.’ This is because historically voter turnout has been low, especially in non-presidential elections, so while there may be more of them than you, it all boils down to getting out your base.
But how do you find your writing base?
You go where they go, frequent the websites they frequent, and connect with them. You find their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their personalities, and their problems.
And you give them what they want/need.
Give Them What They Want
Political ads often prey upon people’s emotions, e.g. fear, anger, or uncertainty about the future. Again, going back to the Trump campaign’s 2016 run, they played on the fears and anger that white Americans and their values were being ignored and becoming irrelevant.
Likewise, in Lyndon B. Johnson’s famous daisy ad, which featured a little girl on a swing holding a daisy before it cuts to a picture of a mushroom cloud, only aired once. But the message was obvious: vote for Barry Goldwater and it’ll end with nuclear war with Russia.
In the infamous Willie Horton ad, which spawned a genre of attack ads based on racial fears, the 1984 George H. W. Bush campaign painted Dukakis as soft on crime by implying he would allow criminals like Horton on the loose to commit more crimes.
Horton, a Black man serving a life sentence for murder without prole, while on release on Massachusetts’ weekend furlong program, failed to return, and physically and sexually assaulted a white woman before a civilian later shot him.
And more recently, Hillary Clinton’s 3AM ad with a red ringing phone, implied, then candidate Obama was ill prepared to handle the rigors of being president.
These quintessential attack ads did one thing: made people vote for the target’s opponent because they will stop the nightmare scenario from happening. They also created a us vs. them mentality, and if people are one thing, it’s tribal.
But how does this apply to writing?
Easy.
We all Want to matter
People want to be entertained. But more than that, they want stories that speak to them as a person. They want to be seen, to know they and their struggles matter, that they too can save the day and get a happily ever after.
The secret to giving readers what they want is to not try to please everyone.
Instead, focus on one person, be that you or someone else, and write for them. Be specific and write from your experience. Write what scares you, what hurts, because if it resonates with you, it’ll resonate with others. Tell your truth, regardless of how ugly it may be or who may take offense, because your story demands to be told. Do this and you’ll find your audience and please them. But that’s not enough.
You must hook them and keep them hooked.
Hook The Audience Early
Because we live in a capitalist society, everything costs money, and political ads are no different. They, in fact, cost so much that they only have 30 seconds to hook audiences, keep them engaged, and tell their story.
Likewise, you only have a brief window to hook readers before they put your book down to do one of a hundred other things vying for their attention.
One of the best ways to hook readers is by starting with a bang. While literal or metaphorical, you want your protagonists to be doing something when your readers meet them. One good way to insure this is by starting right in the middle of the action, aka in medias res.
Another way to hook readers early is by starting as close to inciting incident as possible, so they don’t have to slog through world building or character development that can come later.
Additionally, you could start at the end, then jump to the beginning, as masterfully done by Tarantino in Pulp Fiction.
You could also start by posing a question to the audience, such as in mysteries, and the quest to answer this question drives readers forward.
A similar technique is to add subplots with their own questions and move from one to another, answering one question as another arises to keep readers engaged and guessing what happens next.
But perhaps the best way to keep readers hooked is by making them care for your characters. They don’t have to like them, but they must feel something for them, and you do this by making your characters true to life.
We all have that one friend who reminds us of pretentious Holden Caulfield, bookish Hermione, or egotistical Victor Frankenstein; pull from your knowledge base and give your characters quirks and ticks of those you know. Make them act and sound like real people, complete with flaws and questionable morals.
And once you’ve made readers care about your characters, send them on a journey that matters. Have them grow and change as the plot demands, not vice versa, and make them earn their endings.
But once the story ends, the actual work of getting reviews and further sales begins.
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
One reason political ads are often highly effective is a combination of superb storytelling and repetitions. During campaign season, you can’t escape ads; they flood the airwaves, internet, your email, phone (robocalls and texts), even video games are no longer safe as candidates have taken to appearing in games like Animal Crossing: New Horizons, MLB Live 08, and Burn Out Paradise.
The point being, repetition is key to building and growing your reader base. Research has shown it can take seeing an ad 3 times or more before people buy a product, which means you must be your own hype man for marketing your book. Of course, don’t engage in spam or dishonesty to get sales, but plug your book and talk about your writing often sopeople know it’s out there.
Yes, this means marketing yourself and your book (I know. It sucks.).
Go All In
If you don’t believe in yourself and your book, no one else will. Put everything you have into it and promoting it. Engage in hash tag games and Facebook groups, reach out to bloggers and your local media, run ads, do what you must to get the word out.
Because no one will care as much about your book as you.
One thing we can learn from political ads is how to be evangelists for our books.
Don’t back be shy about saying how much you love your characters and their story, how excited you are for people to meet them, and how much you hope readers get what you’re trying to do.
This too, means having an elevator pitch on lock and ready to go when asked what your book’s about, and what your next project(s) are. It also means having some way to connect with readers, be it on social media or via a newsletter, and keeping them posted on your work and yourself.
You could have the best book in the world, but if no one knows about it, then what?
This goes triple if you’re a self-published/indie author. If need be, take a public speaking course if you’re not naturally extroverted, read a few books or watch a few videos on Amazon ads, social media marketing, and growing your followers.
Do whatever it takes to let people know how outstanding your book is.
Conclusion
If you’re American,whomever you vote for in the midterms, do it because you’ve investigated them and their platform. None of the above matters if there’s no substance behind the candidate and the book.
Write stories only you can and fuck the haters.
In closing, I want to leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson I think is apropos:
“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts in the comments. Also, share this post if it spoke to you, and you can sign up to my newsletter for updates on me and my work here.
Welcome readers! Today’s post is all about Tyler Perry and the lessons we can learn from his life and writing process.
Perry’s CV
Often criticized and mocked for his formulaic movies and plays, Perry created a niche for himself by telling stories that resonated with his mostly Black Christian audience, which enabled him to become a multimillionaire and build a media empire.
But how did Perry get his start?
Long before he played Alex Cross, Perry wrote plays such as I Know I’ve Benn Changed that featured strong Black woman and Christian themes. Initially, Perry’s plays were met with poor reviews and at one point, he lived in his car.
But he kept writing, editing, and retooling his plays until he they resonated with audiences in Atlanta and beyond.
He got his big break playing Medea in the movie version of Diary of a Mad Black Woman, based on the play of the same name. And it’s his role as Medea that Perry became famous playing and most reviled for.
From there he branched out into screenwriting for film and television, producing, and created a media empire. All because he didn’t give up. I’ll next explore the lessons we can learn from him.
Lesson One: Persistence
Had he given up when he was living in his car, Mr. Perry might not be the multimillionaire he is today, and his dedication to writing is something we can all learn from.
So often writers give up when things get hard, whether in their personal life or with their WIP. At the first hurdle, we’re ready to concede the race, but if we want to make it, then we can’t give up so easily.
You see this often with newbie authors, especially during NaNoWriMo; everyone is psyching each other up about writing a novel in a month.
Then come December, many of those same writers are nowhere to be found when the tough work of making that rough draft into something readable must be done.
You see the same thing in online writing communities where people will start off with such exuberance over their WIPs, only for them to nosedive once the reality of what it takes to be a writer sets in.
I speak of this from personal experience, as my debut novel took several attempts over many years and multiple rewrites before it was publishable. This is because I, like many new writers, only wrote when I felt inspired or when the stars aligned. But I’ve since learned from Mr. Perry’s example and others that you must be persistent with your WIPs or they won’t get done.
Likewise, you must give yourself the time and space to hone your craft as Mr. Perry did.
Lesson Two: Patience
As I mentioned above, when his plays bombed, Tyler Perry continued writing his plays, retooling them, but he also steadily built an audience until he got his big break.
So often we writers and creatives are in a rush to get famous, especially with social media flooding our feeds with news of people getting book and movie deals almost on the daily.
It’s so easy to become jealous and bitter at everyone’s apparent overnight success. However, we can’t let our emotions blind us to the truth: every overnight success was years in the making.
We must get good at our craft while building an audience for it; two things which Mr. Perry did that required patience.
When I first started writing, I had the mentality that if my book was good enough, people would just buy it.
But that was not the case.
With more people than ever writing and releasing books, you need to market your book like crazy and build a readership.
Hell, I’ve been on social media writing spaces for over a decade and am still trying to build my author platform. Which leads me to my next point.
Lesson Three: Find Your Audience and Give Them What They Want
Though he’s often criticized for recycling the same themes and plots, Mr. Perry’s audience continues to see his work, so they must like it. More importantly, he’s found his tribe.
But how did he do this?
Easy: repetition and iteration. By putting his work out there over time and fine-tuning it until it resonated with people, he found his audience, what they wanted, and continues giving it to them.
And so too must you if you want to build a readership.
Don’t be afraid to try hard and fail often on the way to success like Tyler Perry did. His work, like yours, isn’t for everyone, and the sooner you realize this, the better you and your work will be.
Though often disparaged for writing for the “Chitlin’ Circuit,” venues geared toward Black audiences in the Midwest, south, and eastern US, Tyler Perry found success here because he gave the market what they wanted, while remaining true to himself and his artistic vision.
It’s this razor’s edge we must balance if we hope to succeed. And you do this by sending your work out into the world and taking in the feedback you receive while retaining your vision for work.
But as you’ll see next, not all criticism carries the same weight and you should ignore some of it, especially if it comes from those outside your audience.
Lesson Four: Screw the Haters
People often criticize Perry and his work for perpetuating negative stereotypes about the Black community and pushing his religious worldview. Critics claim Medea and other characters of his perpetuate the stereotype of the Mammy, and that Perry’s tendency to make the villains of his works dark-skinned and the heroes/heroines light-skinned is colorist and rooted in anti-Blackness. He’s also been called out for not using writer rooms and instead writing all his work himself.
I find merit in both complaints. However, there is no denying some of his critics are just haters and you’ll have your share of them too.
No work is universally loved, and writers must have a thick skin if they want to make it. And as I stated above, if you want to get better at writing, then you must be open to constructive criticism.
Had Perry not heeded the feedback he got on his early work he might still live in his car. However, there’s a difference between constructive criticism and straight up haters. The former is rooted in reality and should strengthen your work, while the latter is rooted in jealousy and/or outright hate of the creator or their work.
So take nothing someone says about your work as the gospel truth.
While Perry’s movies often don’t score high marks from critics, he’s not writing for them. He’s writing for his audience, and so should you, as they are the ones buying your work. And Tyler Perry knows this well, which is why he continues delivering the same work with the same themes and characters.
Because they have proven to be profitable.
But as I’ll show next, Perry wasn’t content pumping out the same content. He branched out into TV shows, movies, acting, producing, and built a media empire.
Similarly, writers must branch out, which requires stepping outside of our comfort zone.
Lesson Five: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
The success of his plays allowed Perry to transition to screenwriting for film and television, and eventually trying his hand at acting, making him a multimillionaire. But he’d never have gotten to this level of fame had he not taken the risk of stepping outside his comfort zone.
As writers and creatives, we can get so attached to a genre, theme(s) and characters, they we cease growing and pigeonhole ourselves. Sure, write what you love, but if you aren’t willing to take risks with your work, it’ll result in stale stories that will bore your audience.
Moreover, don’t wed yourself to a single medium. As writers, we can create stories for comics, manga, video games, and other media outside of books. And with the advent of the internet and social media, we can experiment with various platforms such as Kindle Vella, Amazon’s serial novel platform, Webtoons, and other online comics/manga sites to get our stories out there.
The point is to experiment and find what works best for you to connect with your audience and give them what they want.
Of course, with any experiment, there will be failures, but if one thing fails, you keep going until you find something that works. Give yourself permission to try new things and fail hard often. Don’t be afraid to say yes to an opportunity, even if you aren’t sure you can do it. Treat everything as a learning experience and reiterate your process until you’re where you want to be.
This’ll mean facing your fears, and one of the biggest we must slay is that we and our work aren’t valuable.
So often you see the advice to give away your best work, but your endgame should be creating multiple streams of income from your writing, as Perry has done. And you can’t do that if you’re paid in exposure, or you severely devalue your work. You’ve spent months/years working on your WIP, so you deserve to get paid well for it.
By stepping outside your comfort zone, you just might find your next hit, and if you’re lucky, become the next Tyler Perry.
Conclusion
Love or hate him, there’s no denying Tyler Perry has found his audience and continues to give them what they want time after time. You might not agree with his process, but then every writer has their own way of doing things. So, take what you will from this post, then go out into the world and write your asses off.
Thanks for reading this post and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
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However, it lacked in both the horror and queerness. Most of the stories only had a fantasy/paranormal element, and the queerness was rarely more than subtext. Also, many of the stories ended just as they were getting interesting, leaving you feeling cheated.
While there were a few stories I enjoyed, such as Attachments, by Justin F. Robinette, in which a ghost haunts his former lover who spurned him; and HUSAVGUD, by Bernardo Villella, in which a gay man must face his past to move ahead; most of the stories were forgettable.
Overall, I felt this anthology failed to deliver on both the horror and queer aspects and pulled a bait and switch. I give Queer As Hell 2.0 out of five stars and don’t recommend you read it.
After graduating high school, I didn’t really plan to go on to college, and spent a year bumming around, eventually getting in trouble for shoplifting and my dad gave me an ultimatum: either go to college or he’d kick me out. So, I started at Henry Ford Community College before transferring to Oakland University.
My freshman year, I tried joining a fraternity, and failing that, I joined the Gay Straight Alliance, where I met other IRL queer people for the first time and didn’t feel so alone. After that first year, I mustered up the courage to come out as gay to my mother and, eventually, my father. This was largely because I felt like I “had to pick a side” even though I liked girls too.
Like most college kids, I went out clubbing on the weekends and wound up losing my virginity to a girl one week, a guy the next, and hooked up with a prostitute a few weeks later.
Looking back, I needed my ass smacked, but yolo.
So, I spent the first half of my twenties hooking up with guys and trying to find a boyfriend. But the whole time, part of me was curious about relationships with women. However, due to internalized biphobia, I didn’t think bisexuality was real, especially not for guys, so I suppressed those feelings until me and my first boyfriend broke up.
I’m Coming Out Part Deux
Things ended between us badly. The relationship was toxic and emotionally abusive as fuck, and I should have broken up with him a lot sooner than I did. Anyway, after we broke up, I got depressed and ate my feelings for like three or four months, then I like snapped out of it and hit the gym, admittedly to extremes (6-7 days a week, 4-6 hours a day).
As I shed the pounds, my confidence rose, and I caught myself checking out the women at the gym and them checking me out.
I’m not proud of this next part, but here it is.
I got the asinine idea to make myself straight, so I got rid of all my gay porn, stopped visiting online gay erotica sites and went out to straight clubs intending to hook up with women.
Because I’m so shy I’d have a few drinks to loosened me up, but as time wore on, I had to drink more to get the same affect, which eventually led to me getting alcohol poisoning twice in six months, at which point I stopped drinking cold turkey.
I’m not gonna lie, I was an asshole to the women I interacted with and apologize for my fuckboy ways.
I wound up dating a few women and hooking up with them.
But at the end of this idiotic quest, I realized I was still into guys, but liked girls, too. So, I came out again as bisexual and have been openly bi ever since. I also try to advocate for more bisexual visibility by writing stories featuring bi and pan characters of color like me.
It’s my goal to fill the world with all the stories I wished were around when I was coming up, so other LGBTQ+ Black and brown kids know they aren’t alone, and they matter.
As for my love life?
I’ve been single for the last thirteen years and if Mr. or Ms. Right comes along, cool. But I’m fine being alone.
Conclusion
That’s my tale more or less. I have omitted some events for the sake of brevity and to protect the innocent/stupid.
Today’s post will explore my coming of age and sexual awakening. Unlike today where being LGBTQ+ is mostly accepted, back in the ‘90s and early 2000s, being gay was the worst thing imaginable, especially if you were Black. So much so it was the go-to insult on the schoolyard.
Growing up, all I heard was how awful and gross being LGBTQ+ was and what few depictions of them in the media weren’t flattering. So, as a young Black queer boy it was rough, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Confessions of a Pervy Kid
To put it lightly, I’ve had a complicated relationship with sex and sexuality.
I was a toddler when I saw my first porno. The way my parents tell the story, they’d rented Pinocchio from the video store, but instead of the Disney classic, the store gave them the X-rated version, and it wasn’t until they came to check on me and the other kids because we were suspiciously quiet that they discovered the mistake.
Fast forward a bit and I was now two going on three and my parents had left me home alone, as they often did in those days.
I was a curious kid prone to exploring, and while searching in the closest I found a videotape. Thinking it was one of my cartoon tapes, I popped it into our VCR and on came a porno.
I still remember it to this day; the premise was a busty blonde didn’t know how to deep throat, so she employed a hung Black guy to teacher her how. There I was enthralled, lying on my stomach, feet kicked up in the air, watching them go at it, when my dad came home from work. He saw what I was watching and tore my ass up.
Thus began my perennial mission to seek out all things sex related.
You Show Me Yours I’ll Show You Mine
When I was a bit older, me and another boy from our apartment played you show me yours and I’ll show you mine. Recalling the event, it wasn’t sexually so much as out of curiosity.
Jumping forward a bit, I was now five, and we’d moved to Detroit.
One day, a girl from up the street took me behind some bushes and flashed me her privates; I did the same, and that was the end of that.
TW: Child Sexual Abuse
Following this, my Uncle Pat’s girlfriend’s son, who was a few months younger than me, began molesting me and my brother.
It started with I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. Then he taught us how to masturbate by rubbing ourselves against stuffed animals. Next, it progressed to oral sex and sitting on his penis. I didn’t know what to do because the only thing I’d been told regarding child sex abuse was the abuser was an adult stranger, not family.
I now know this type of abuse is common in the Black community, though rarely spoken of.
However, back then, I didn’t know how to process it. And as often happens, I abused others, namely a boy visiting one of our neighbors. I’ll spare you the details and just say it involved penetration.
Rightly so, his parents were livid and banded me from being around him, and I got the requisite ass whooping from my parents.
Jumping forward a bit, my family and I were now living with my dad’s mother in the house next to her old one while we waited for the land lady to transfer things over to my parents. I was snooping in my parents’ room when I found my mom’s playgirl magazine.
I was oblivious to everything as I thumbed through the pages and didn’t hear the door opening. Betty, my father’s mother, saw what I was reading and beat my ass with a wooden paddle so hard it broke. My dad being a huge mama’s boy, said nothing about this and I went on my way to explore the empty house next door.
I found my Uncle Pat’s massive collection of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. I spent a couple of hours perusing them, and when I came how my mom asked if I’d enjoyed looking at those porn mags. I acted like I didn’t know what she was talking about, as I didn’t want another whooping.
In hindsight, the clues I was bisexual were all over the place, but more on that later.
Shortly thereafter, I had my first case of Steven’s-Johnson syndrome, which you can read about here, and all thoughts of anything not hospital related left my mind until I hit puberty.
Cumming of Age
Over the years, it became a habit of mine to sus out my dad’s porn collection, only for him to discover this and beat my ass. My brother and Uncle pat’s girlfriend’s son got in the act too; at one point when I’d discovered a porno tape, one of them would stand guard for my mom while two of us watched the tape.
But in between that, I came of age.
Due to all the steroids given to me to reduce the swelling in my airway from the allergic reaction I mentioned above, by eleven I could ejaculate and had tons of pubic hair, and it was around this time that I had my first inklings I wasn’t straight.
There was a teenage boy in our neighborhood who would play with us younger kids, and I remember being infatuated with him to the point I got hella jealous when he played with anyone but me.
Looking back, I was totally crushing on him.
It was also around this time I had my first serious crush on a girl. I was about twelve and she was in the grade below me, so we only got to see each other in the few classes we shared. I was super shy and never worked up the courage to confess my feelings to her. But the worst part was everyone knew how I felt and teased me about it. I think is partially why I have approach anxiety with asking people out.
A Whole New World
The summer I turned thirteen, a whole new world opened to me when I got a PC and internet access.
It was 1997, the days of dial up, AIM, and 56k modems. Like any horny teen, I promptly found my way to porn sites, but given the limitation of the technology at the time, I found it faster to read my porn than watch it.
It never crossed my mind that I was mainly reading gay erotica, or that there was anything wrong with that, until the guys in my age group all started talking about hooking up with girls.
Now like then, I’m more attracted to men than women, but because of bi erasure and biphobia I thought I had to hide my attraction to guys.
But over the years, those stories I found online became a lifeline to me, and eventually inspired me to become a writer.
Time passed and I and one of my friends started messing around. Truthfully, it was purely sexual as had been all my attractions to guys up to then.
I’d only experienced romantic attractions to girls until the summer I turned fourteen.
The Day the World Changed
The summer between eighth and ninth grade marked many changes.
I had my first major depressive episode and lost interest in everything save my computer, video games, and Dragon Ball Z, all things D liked too. He was my brother’s friend originally, then we became friends over games of Rival Schools, Tekken, and other such PlayStation games. Because my brother had chosen that summer to start running the street, D would be at our house waiting for him.
This was before cell phone were ubiquitous, so it wasn’t like he could call or text him to see where he was at. With D being two grades below me, I was reluctant to give him the time of day, as I was about to be a high school guy.
But it turned out we had a lot of the same interests and the same pervy sense of humor. Over episodes of Dragon Ball Z we bonded, and without me even realizing it, I fell for him hard.
This hit me for a loop as one day we were just chilling and the next I’m wanting to kiss the dude. I hid my feelings and tried to act normal around, but it was torture. I crushed on him all throughout high school, but I never acted on my feelings.
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