Review Sycamore 2

More of the same.

Picking right up where book one left off, Kurt and Minter join up with the resistance and begin plotting how to take down Sycamore and Amos. The same pacing and editing issues that were present in book one remain here, especially how the story dragged toward the end.

I also thought many of the new characters were equally as flat as Kurt, and I thought how Kurt and some of them were related was the height of contrived.

 I also wasn’t a fan of how no main characters were ever in danger, even when drones with missiles come after them. This really cheapened the ending, where everything wrapped up too neatly and few if anyone seemed to blame Kurt for the chaos his Seed caused.

There was also a massive plot hole: namely, the people who funded Sycamore and Amos were never brought to justice and are still out there plotting their next plan for world domination.

For these reasons, I give “Sycamore 2” 2.8 stars. A disappointing end to an interesting story.

Review: Sycamore by Craig A Falconer

An interesting idea marred by uneven pacing and flat passive characters.

In “Sycamore” Kurt Jacobs invents the Seed, a microchip implanted in people’s hand that allows them to connect to the Sycamore Corporation’s system via their VirualLenses. Soon the Sycamore Corporation, in collusion with the US government, forces everyone to be chipped and wear their VirtualLenses all the time.

There were several issues I had with this book and the others in the series. First, Kurt and the other character were flat and lacked any personality. He showed no concern for the increasingly fascist things Sycamore did until it affected him and his family.

Second, this book lacked proper editing. It’s supposed to be set in the US but used Britishisms like queue/queue up, meters instead of yards/feet, and jerry can instead of gas can. Moreover, the story dragged on to more than 60-plus chapters.

This wouldn’t have been an issue, if not for the pacing problems. Multiple chapters would go by with little to no plot progression, then event after event would happen, leading to whiplash. And as Kurt failed to react to most of these events, he came off as highly passively and little more than a plot device to experience the story.

But the biggest issue I had was we’re supposed to believe Kurt is a genius and hacker, yet he failed to foresee how his Seed could be misused and abused. This is especially glaring given later in the series we learn he frequented a conspiracy theory website. So, you mean to tell me he didn’t stop once to consider the privacy issues his Seed could cause?

I also took points off because it ended on a cliffhanger.

But the premise itself was interesting and seeing how society changed as Sycamore gained more power, becoming increasingly Orwellian, was like watching an extended episode of “Black Mirror.”

Because of the above, I give “Sycamore” 3.8 stars. If you can look past its faults, this is a decent story. 

Review: System Breaker by Craig A Falconer

“Sycamore System Breaker” is a companion story to the main Sycamore story and follows Peter Laymen, a character readers meet in “Sycamore 1,” whom Kurt helped get to his pregnant giving birth at a local hospital.

I liked this story more than those in “Sycamore X” or “Sycamore XL” as it’s more a novella/novelette, and as it’s longer and only focuses on Peter, we get to know him deeply.

I honestly wish more of the short stories were like this one. Perhaps if Falconer decreased the number of short stories in X and XL, he could have focused more on developing the characters by making the remaining stories longer.

I give “Sycamore System Breaker,” 3.8 out of 5.   

Review: Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell, is a series of interconnected stories that span centuries, each containing characters who are the reincarnated people from the previous stories. I wasn’t a fan of all the stories that took place in the distance, nor was I fan of the racism therein. I also thought all the stories started blurring together in a bland sameness as the book progressed.

And most of the stories failed to pique my interest aside from Sonmi-451, which follows a clone who gains sentience. Initially I thought this was a clever story, until I realized the clone in Sonmi-451 was essential an android in all but name, making it a cliche story about a robot becoming sentient.

Overall, I just thought the book was average and give it 3 out of 5 stars. You might like this more than me if you’re into historical fiction, which most of these stories were.  

Review: Beauregard And The Beast

Falls flat on both the romance and fairytale retelling.

Let me start by saying I wanted to like this book. A gay spin on Beauty and The Beast? Sign me up. Grumpy/sunshine, introvert/extrovert, nerd/jock? Triple check. However, this didn’t do it for me.

I will say from a technical standpoint Evie Drae is a competent writer as this book had few if any typos, grammatical errors, and was formatted well.

That said, this book failed to deliver on both the romance and fairytale aspect. Bo and Adam had no chemistry whatsoever and instantly wanted to hook up with each other. And aside from being gave and supposedly liking books, they had nothing in common.

I say supposedly because I don’t recall Adam ever picking up a book besides when he and Bo are studying to get their GED.

This combined with their lack of chemistry had me scratching my head as to why they’d be declaring their undying love for each other after only a few months of knowing the other, let alone why they’d be together at all. It felt to me like their whole relationship was surface level and based solely on looks/wanting to hook up.

As for the Beauty and The Beast aspect, it was nonexistent. You could have changed the names and it would have no effect on the story. There was no curse, no magic, no whimsy at all.

Additionally, the whole third act could have been resolved in a matter of paragraphs had they just talked and been honest with each other about what they wanted and were thinking/feeling.

As for the sex scenes, they lacked emotion and sensuality and towards the end I skipped them as they added nothing to the story.

This leads me to my next issue. Halfway through the second act, the story drags and by the last 60 or so pages I was tempted to DNF as nothing was happening. And by the end I was just glad to be done with this story.

 This book just didn’t spark joy for me. Check it out and maybe you’ll have a different experience.  

I give Beauregard and The Beast 2.0 out of 5 stars.

Review: Claime Me, Love Me

Claim Me, Love Me by Jaiyde Thomas

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

What a hot mess, emphasis on mess.

Claim Me, Love Me by Jaiyde Thomas is a BDSM m/m romance. It features Josiah, an out and proud frick boy who’s blind; and Caleb, his Uber driver, who’s closeted and suffers from anxiety and intimacy issues.

I wanted to like this book as I felt for Caleb and Josiah, but this book missed the mark in so many areas.

First, there was zero chemistry between Josiah and Caleb. They become obsessed with each other after exactly one meeting and then declare their undying love after only knowing each other a few months. I honestly don’t see what they saw in each other as they didn’t interact much, and when they did it was mostly to hook up (more on this later).

If this weren’t eye-roll-inducing enough, so much of the “conflict” in this story could have been easily solved had they just talked to each other. Also, they both needed a ton of therapy, but like in so many bad romances, Caleb’s and Josiah’s issues magically get better through the power of love (cue eye roll).

I don’t know much about BDSM, but I do know informed consent is a big part of it, and that was completely lacking with Josiah and Caleb. Josiah constantly sprang things on Caleb and expected him to be cool with it. And not to kink shame, but I found the whole Sub/Dom thing as depicted in this book to be abusive like crazy.

If someone isn’t comfortable doing something, as Caleb makes clear to Josiah several times throughout the book, then you should respect their boundaries. Yet, he kept pushing Caleb to do things he wasn’t ready for.

But the biggest offender in this book is the writing, especially the dialog. It’s just so bad. Like every time someone talks, they always say the other person’s name. Also, so much passive voice. And I lost count of how many times I cringed during Caleb and Josiah’s Sub/Dom conversations.

The common thread between them all being it didn’t ring true and felt forced.

I kept reading, hoping things would get better but they got worse, and I found myself skimming the pages, especially the mechanically sex scenes devoid of any emotion or sensuality.

And while I’m on the topic of sex scenes, there’s a scene where Josiah gets wasted and has unprotected sex with multiple people, then he later talks about how he doesn’t want to risk passing anything to Caleb so they should hold off on sex until he gets his test results. Yet they then have unprotected oral sex.

Make that make sense.

This book was just a hot mess, and I can’t give it more than 1 star. Skip it.





View all my reviews

Review: Storming (The Coven of Zora #2)

The second entry in LD Valentine’s QPOC-led fantasy series finds water witch Adam taking the reins as coven leader after a powerful psychic demon enthralls Xavier and kidnaps him.

It took me a minute to get into this book, but once I did, I loved it. It was nice seeing all the characters grow and respond to Xavier’s absence. I also liked the scenes between Adam and Serea and how they butted heads, and him having to deal with the politics involved with Zora.

But this book isn’t without its faults.

First, after Adam and Max got into a fight, I thought they were too easy to forgive each other given everything that transpired between them.

Second, the story dragged a bit towards the middle and got repetitive with all the scenes of them fighting Xavier only for him to best them and retreat.

Third, I felt how Adam survived a fetal encounter tipped into deus ex machina territory, as it’s something that no water witch has ever been able to do nor is it ever explained and only commented on twice.

Fourth, the ending came off rushed, anticlimactic, and things wrapped up too neatly.

That said, I liked this book overall and can’t wait for the next in the series to drop. If you liked the first book, go ahead and add this one to your TBR list now.   

I give Storming (The Coven of Zora #2) 4 out of 5 stars.  

Internet Famous

image by Antony Trivet via scop.io

Like, share, repost.

Every day we do the most

Playing their game,

Chasing internet fame.

All for companies who 

don’t know our names,

Who got us digging our grave.

We clowning on main,

Going insane,

Tap dancing like slaves.

As they 

Pulling our strings.

We ready to give up the ghost,

Just to see whose post

Gets liked the most.

Social media got folks

Going for broke

 Just to stoke

The flames of Capitalism.

Here’s a dose of realism:

We’re living in a technological 

Oligarchical dystopia. 

Bruh, we’re biological

Oddities.

We inhabit ephemeral bodies,

But seek to be eternal.

We say we love our fellow man.

But on the other hand,

We reduce everything to numismatics.

Here’s my syllogism:

We’re so addicted to 

Getting clicks

We don’t get

How much it’s making us sick, 

See how it’s making us pricks.

All for billionaire gits,

Who give no shits

As we slit our wrists,

So our name’s atop an arbitrary list.

Week 4: The Sacking of Carthage Continues, And Why I’m No Longer Voting Blue No Matter Who

Image by Raekia Osgood via scop.io

The Rundown

Since last week there have been more plane crashes, including the latest—as of this writing—this past Sunday morning in Georgia. Meanwhile Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy has been mum on the spat of crashes, save blaming the Biden administration, since Trump slashed the budget for the FAA.

Trump also gave a presser in which he sat like the empty suit he is, while Elon Musk blathered on for over thirty minutes. Musk’s son X Æ A-Xii even got in the act, reportedly telling Trump to shut up at one point.

 In other news, VP JD Vance, who had been AWOL, went to Germany and met with the far right party Alternative for Germany (AfD), which the magazine Der Spiegel reports has associations with far right and neo-Nazi extremist groups. Vance did so in lieu of meeting with German Chancelor Olaf Scholz.

The heads at Fox News and those at other corporate media outlets would have exploded if a democratic VP had gone to Gaza and met with Hamas. Yet not one peep from them on this. They’ll do anything to prop up Trump et al and keep their access to them.   

As it stands world leaders are meeting to discuss how they will deal with Trump as he continues tilting at windmills and ramping up tariffs against them.

Meanwhile, more cases of bird flu (H5N1) have sprang up across the country, resulting in the culling of chickens, cattle, and other infected livestock. There are also growing concerns about mutual transmission of the virus between cats and humans.

The US is also experiencing outbreaks of measles and tuberculosis, and polio is making a comeback; all while Trump’s communications ban on the CDC and state and county health department remains in place. And to make matters worse, anti-vax and conspiracy theorist RFK Jr. was confirmed as Head of Health and Human Services.

But the cherry on the shit sundae was the Russian asset Tulsi Gabbard being confirmed by unanimous consent as the Director of National Intelligence as Putin watched and laughed at us. Not a single democrat objected to Gabbard’s nomination. And that, among other reasons, is why I’m no longer voting “blue no matter who.”

Why I’m Done Voting Blue No Matter Who

Since Trump retook the oval office, democratic voters have been screaming for our elected officials to do something, anything to stop Trump. And what has been their response? They wring their hands and say they can’t do nothing because they don’t have the votes, which is a lie since whenever republicans are in the minority they do everything in their power to obstruct the dems (see Clinton, Obama, and Biden).

And when Musk and his DOGE boys breached the US Treasure, and security officers blocked democratic officials from entering the USAID headquarters and other government building, they rolled over. At every step democratic leadership has failed to meet the challenge these times require. Instead, they do nothing or give piss poor pressers, when they aren’t sending out a billion texts and emails begging for money.

Nope.

The Democratic party won’t get one cent from me until there are major changes. First, it’s way past time Nancy Pelosi and the old guard of the House and Senate retire. They are too old and out of touch with their constituents and clearly not up to the fight before them. So, until people like AOC, Maxwell Frost, and Jasmine Crockett take the reins, I want nothing to do with the party.

And, if democratic leadership is set on continuing their drift rightward and villainizing the progressive element of the party, then I have no qualms leaving the party. Why stay where I’m not wanted, why stay when the leadership refuses to grow a spine and take the fight to Trump et al.

Why invest my time and money in a party that only pretends to care about progressive issues come election time, then governs like republican-lite once they get into office. If the party isn’t willing to push progressive policies, then why stay.

If things don’t change, I’ll switch my affiliation to independent and support candidates on a case-by-case basis and not blindly vote blue no matter who. And if ever a viable progressive third party comes along, I’ll support it. But until then, the DNC and democrats in the House and Senate are on notice.

Until next week, stay safe and don’t let the tangerine tyrant grind ya down.

Week 3: The Revolution Will Not Be Live Streamed

picture of a bearded man recording himself while drinking a glassof beer.
image by Emanuele Lattarulo via scopi.io

A lot has happened since last week.

More planes crashed/collided, Trump blew up the Gaza hostage deal by asserting he has control over the Gaza Strip and wants to expel all Palestinians and build luxury apartments there, and he signed executive orders to send immigrants convicted of crimes to Guantanamo and to sentence those guilty of capital offences to death.

J D Vance came out of hiding to lay the groundwork for eliminating the separation of church and state and establishing Christian Nationalism as the state religion.

Elon Musk and his cadre of zygote DOGE henchmen lost access to The Treasury database—for now.

 And while Trump has seen several of his executive orders challenged in court and blocked, he and his administration have largely ignored these rulings. The truth is there is nothing to enforce these rulings since the DOJ’s policy not to prosecute a sitting president is still in effect. Worse, Trump’s appointees at the DOJ have begun leaning on prosecutors to drop cases against those who’ve kissed Trump’s greasy rump.

It’s becoming more apparent that we can’t depend on the systems of checks and balances and democratic leadership to save us. As I wrote last week, we must save ourselves. And while some protests have taken place across the country, with more planned, the larger issue is we can’t count on social media and the internet to organize the coming revolution needed to fight Trump et al.

The shenanigans TikTok puled by going dark in the US before the 2024 election results were in, then coming back and thanking Trump proves that it and other social media platforms aren’t reliable. This goes double for all Meta platforms as Zuckerberg was one of the first tech bros to bend the knee to Trump.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if ISPs and telecoms were the next to fall in line. And if so, the resistance will need to go old school if it’s to survive. Walkie-talkies, ham and CB radios, and community networks like the Underground Railroad will be key. And we will need to form militias, so if Trump declares Martial Law, we are able to defend ourselves.  

This might sound crazy, but intelligence experts like Malcolm Nance have been warning we are heading toward a constitutional crisis that may lead to a second Civil War. So, we need to be prepared for the worst.

Get with your friends, family, or neighbors and pool your resources. Start a neighborhood watch if you don’t already have one, network with others in person, and stay aware while staying sane.  

The takeaway here is we need to get offline and touch grass.

Cue the “Keep Calm and Carry On” meme.

If it’s any solace, this past weekend at The Super Bowl, fans booed Trump who was in attendance.

Till next week, stay safe and don’t let the tangerine tyrant grind ya down.   

Week 2: Flooding The Zone and The Bystander Effect in the Face of Trump 2.0

image by Ali Ekber Ozturk via scop.io

Over the last week a lot has happened. A plane collided with a Blackhawk helicopter over DC and trump blamed DEI for it after his administration fired hundreds of air traffic controllers and Trump’s Secretary of Transportation, former reality TV star Sean Duffy, floundered to explain how such a thing happened.

Trump’s pick for HHS, RFK, Jr., had his confirmation hearing and it went as well as you’d expect for a conspiracy-theory pushing antivaxxer. And in related health news, cases of Tuberculosis have sprung up in Illinois, along with more outbreaks of Bird Flu in humans.

And if that weren’t scary enough, Elon Musk and his oligarch friends gained access to the information of millions of Americans and took control of billions of dollars from the Treasury, all while democratic leadership did nothing.

Well, I shouldn’t say, “nothing.” Chuck Schumer and Jammie Raskin have given a few milquetoast pressers and posted strongly worded posts on social media. Shoutout to AOC, Jasmine Crockett, and the former social media manager for Wendy’s who have been giving masterclasses in messaging and taking the fight to MAGA.

The truth is we can’t depend on the DNC or democratic leadership to save us. They eat from the same trough as the republicans and have no incentive to fight back as their seats are safe thanks to gerrymandering, no term limits, and our defacto two-party system. Neither can we wait for some mythical Superman to swoop in and fix everything.

Right now, people are angry at our leadership for allowing this farce to continue, but the fact is we allowed this to happen by tuning out politics, by not holding our politicians’ feet to fire on things like term limits and enacting laws against using information gained from their positions to engage in what would be insider trading if a civilian did what they did.

We are at fault for allowing oligarchs to buy up the legacy media and for allowing history to repeat itself re: tech bros and social media. We are at fault for standing by, waiting for someone to do something, to lead us when we can act ourselves.

You don’t need permission from anyone to start a neighborhood food pantry or mutual aid group. You can build information networks and start local newspapers or zines to spread news to others without the propaganda of the legacy media. You can also get with friends and family to help with groceries and other costs by having a weekly potluck or pooling your money to pay for gasoline and bills.

If you have a skill or talent, share it with others and have them share theirs. And if you don’t have any skills, learn one. Libraries and Google are still free, and they can be great places to rally your community around a specific goal like learning to knit or crochet and making blankets to drive down heating costs.

You don’t need anyone to pick you. Step up and stop being a bystander. Because Superman ain’t coming, so save yourself.

Week 1: In The Halls of the Orange King

Powerfull hands

This has been the longest week ever. The tangerine tyrant has wasted no time rolling back Obama- and Bidden-era policies. He removed the cap on prescription drug prices, so now people will go back to paying hundreds or thousands of dollars for the critical medications they need.

He also pulled the US out of the World Health Organization, froze federal spending for everything except defense and ICE, and barred health officials from communicating with the public. All as Bird Flu (H5N1) has spread to humans in the US.

What could possibly go wrong.

Don the con has also begun purging “woke” and DEI items from whitehouse.gov and other government sites. References to the Tuskegee Airmen were removed along with mentions of The Women’s Airforce Service Pilots (WASP), a group of civilian woman pilots who flew noncombatant flights during WW 2.

More is sure to follow in the next 100 days.

Given the scope of everything that Trump has done in just a week, it’s overwhelming. But it needn’t be.


I haven’t been doom scrolling but have kept informed by following Aaron Parnas, Joy Reid, and others on BlueSky and Substack. But I refuse to turn on the corporate news or my local news affiliates as they helped create this mess by normalizing Trump.


This reminds me of a lecture I watched as part of a series on the nature of evil from The Great Courses.


It was entitled, “The Banality of Evil” and focused on a Nazi official who continued sending trains of Jewish people to the death camps even after it was clear the war was lost. When asked why, he responded, “He was just doing his job.” Not in the sense of the Nuremberg defense, but that he was so desensitized to what he was doing it was his default.


Much like the above Nazi official, the legacy media has become numb to Trump’s corruption, and worse has attempted to gas light us into believing what he and his administration are doing is normal.

It’s not.


In the lead up to the 2024 election, there was a lot of talk about the frog in the pot analogy for fascism and how by incrementally raising the temperature, the frog won’t notice it’s boiling until it’s too late.


But the insidious part about the banality is evil is it won’t matter how much they raise the temperature once we’ve become desensitized to things.

Be it reporters Joe Scarborough and Mike Brzezinski or tech bros going to Mar-A-Lago to kiss trump’s greasy ass, Target rolling back DEI initiatives, or Tik Tok pushing pro Trump propaganda, the rush to obey Trump in advance only shows signs of increasing. And more than ever we need to speak truth to power and call out the lies and utter bullshit of Trump et al.


The only way we’re going to get through the next four years is by not becoming numb to the daily chaos. So, stay informed, but don’t let it consume your life, find joy in the little things, and be there for those in need. Do what you can to make your corner of the world brighter.

To this end, I bought a crafting machine bundle that was on sale, and plan to make vinyl stickers and other goodies with it. First for myself and maybe later as a side hustle. I don’t know yet.


I also have a silkscreen T-shirt press that I bought years ago but never learned to use. Well, I plan to change that. I’ll let you know how that goes.
What are you doing to stay sane?


Till next week, stay safe and don’t let the bastards grind you down.

A Journal of The Trump Years

image of a masked woman wearing a blue jacket holding a sign reading, "Sex is good, but have you tried fucking the system."
Woman in blue jacket holding black and white printed board image by Egide Mbabazi via scopi.io

Long time no read.

Yeah, these last few months have been hell on me, with the cherry on the shit sundae being the election results. I’ve been doom scrolling, gaming, and binge-watching shows on Hulu. And as January 20th approached, my nerves mounted to the point I got little to no sleep most nights, crashing for a few hours whenever my body finally gave out from exhaustion.

But I have been using this extra time and energy to do much-needed cleaning.

As I’ve decluttered my house, I’ve found my mood and sleep improving. This time since the election results has also given me the opportunity to reflect on some things.

First, neglecting my mental and physical help will do me no good. So I’m going to be doing more of the things I like and less of those I don’t. This means tuning out the 24-hour news cycle and getting back to the basics, starting with hitting the gym and cutting way back on takeout, and cooking more at home.

Second, in the days and years going forward, the only way we’re going to get through these Trump years is by defining what resistance looks like for us and not becoming numb to the everyday malfeasance. For me resistance is using my words and other mediums to call the BS that coming and staying sane by creating things. So, that’s what the blog is going be: a chronicle of my attempts to get through this craziness.

What does this mean? The occasional rant re: Trump and his matryoshka doll of corruption, reviews of games and other media, bookish think pieces, and posts chronicling my misadventures in crafting and DIY.

If this isn’t your jam, the door’s that way.

See ya’ll next week. Till then, stay safe, and don’t let the tangerine tyrant steal your joy.

Viva la resistance.   

God Satan and Us

As I wrote last week, I recently turned forty and this has me re-evaluating things, like the meaning of life and the nature of good an evil.
The Biblical god never made sense to sense to me as how can an omniscient being not foresee The Fall, or how can an omni-benevolent god send his creations to hell for finite crime, where they are tormented forever?


More importantly, how can this omnipotent being not snap its fingers and get rid of pain, illness, and evil?

The more I read the Bible, less sense it made to me, and I stopped believing altogether in my teens.

But now I’m thinking my conception of God may have been immature.

In college I was a physics major, and one of the things that crops up repeatedly is the concept of balance. Mass and energy are conserved in every chemical reaction or interaction. “What you start with is what you end with,” one of my chemistry professors told me. Thus, all chemical equations must be balanced. Also, the number of an atom’s protons and electrons must be equal, or they are unstable, i.e. radioactive. (Note: chemistry is physics on the atomic level).

Likewise, systems tend toward equilibrium, e.g. Newton’s Third Law of Motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, maybe God and Satan, then, are equal and opposite forces. And the reason there are so many religions is because they’re all describing the same thing, but in different dimensions.

What I mean by this is to a 4-dimensional being, we’d look flat, just like a 2-dimensional object looks flat to us. So perhaps then each religion is describing a different aspect to God and Satan. So, God and Satan are just the positive and negative aspects of energy.

Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity (e=mc^2) says energy and matter are equal to each other, and from thermodynamics we know energy can never be created or destroyed. So maybe this creative energy is God and maybe, just maybe as the Gnostic believed, God is inside us, and as the Buddhists believe we are all connected.

And maybe then Satan represents the negative destructive energy inside us all, the death drive as Freud called it, and maybe God and Satan are projections of the internal war we all fight between hope and despair, between our ego and shadow self, between love and hate. And religion then is a psychodrama humans created as a defense mechanism to reconcile these diametrically opposed urges in us.

Perhaps, then as Carl Jung posits, the way to find balance is by accepting the God and Satan inside us all.

So This Is Forty?

image by Robert Ullmann via scop.io

Hey, long time no post. Ya’ll probably thought I abandoned this blog.

Nope.

Life just got in the way, as it tends to do. Between my day job and the tire fire that is our current timeline, I haven’t had the time or energy to do much of anything but eat, sleep, shit, work, repeat.

But last month, I turned forty and have come to some epiphanies.

First, I’m not a kid anymore, so I need to take better care of my physical and emotional health, especially after the lab results from my last doctor’s appointment. My blood sugar is high and if I don’t get it under control, it’ll tank my kidneys and other organs. So, beginning today, I’m eating healthier and will start hitting the gym too.

Second, I’m not as far along with my writing as I’d hoped I’d be, and if I’m being honest, it’s been weeks since I wrote a blog and months since I even thought about working on my WIP’s. So, I’ll write for at least 30 minutes every day. And I’ll set hard deadlines for completing my WIP’s.
Third, I’ll resume therapy and work on my issues, because if I’m gonna be around for another forty years I want to be the best version of myself I can be.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to live this long; and now that I have, I don’t know what to do. Maybe therapy will help me figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’ll probably always write, but as for my day job, I’m thinking about using my company’s tuition reimbursement program to get a degree in either communications or business management and apply for a better paying job.

But with the uncertainty of this year’s presidential election, I don’t know if I’ll even still be in the US come this time next year.
It feels like we’re all waiting to exhale, wondering what will happen next, wondering if there’ll even be a USA after this election.
It just feels like the whole world has gone insane and no one is doing anything about it because we’re all just trying to get by the best we can.

And I’m sick of it!

I don’t want to live another four years, let alone another forty, worrying if my rights as a person will be taken away, my existence politicized, based on which party is in power. This is no way to live: constantly on edge and stressed out, because no matter how much we turn out the vote, we’re always one election from the next Trump, always one election from it being the last election. All because America refuses to address its racist past and present.

I’ll still vote for Harris this November, but I’m not naïve enough to believe her election will fundamentally change anything (I learned my lesson with Obama).

The system is broken, and nothing will change until we fix it. So, yeah, vote blue no matter who, then once Trump and Trumpism is no longer a threat we need to do some self-reflecting as a nation.

Review: Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

Like its successor, Dracula, Carmilla suffers from an ending that is anything but epic.

Set at a isolated castle in the Austria countryside, Carmilla is a horror novel in which the now teenage Laura recounts how she was preyed upon by the vampire Carmilla, and how Laura’s father and his friends eventually stop her.

I went into this book knowing nothing about it. But I deduced Carmilla was a vampire immediately, so when the big revelation came, I was not surprised at all.

Though, I was surprised how much lesbian subtext this book oozed. Carmilla professes her love to Laura and kisses her several times throughout and is possessive of Laura’s attention and affection to a disturbing degree, getting violent when Laura doesn’t do what she asks or dares contradict her. I found the whole thing toxic and perverse, when you consider Carmilla is over a century old.

I didn’t enjoy this nearly as much as Dracula, as I thought it dragged in a lot of places and had several chapters with little plot advancement. I also thought how they found Carmilla’s final resting place was a huge deus ex machina. I also thought the ending was even more anticlimactic than Dracula.

Overall, I thought this book was rather boring and don’t recommend it. I give Carmilla  2.5 out of 5.0 stars.  

Review: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

The OG Undead GOAT.

Long before Twilight, Bram Stoker’s tale of blood and supernal creatures swept the world and made vampires and count Dracula horror icons. Though, not the first vampire book, Carmilla by Le Fanu beat it by a few decades and featured a femme fatale bloodsucker, Dracula established most of the tropes and “rules” associated with these creatures.

The story takes place primarily in England at the turn of the eighteenth and follows several characters as they try to stop the eponymous Dracula. Like many novels of its day, Dracula is told through a series of letters, diary entries, and newspaper articles.

While I found the prose over formal and a bit antiquated, it held my attention throughout. I particularly loved the chase sequence and the other action-packed scenes.

Things keep building to the final confrontation with Dracula, then it ends in the most boring way. There was no epic fight; they stake him, chop off his head, and call it a day.

Aside from these issues, the latter of which I found glaringly bad, I loved this book and recommend it to anyone who loves horror or who wants something pulse-pounding to read/listen. Just go into it knowing it fizzles out in the end.

I give Bram Stoker’s Dracula  3.5 out of 5.0 stars.

Review Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

A stellar work of science fiction and horror marred by a boring first half.

A staple of the horror genre since the days of horror greats Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and Lon Chaney; “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” is arguably the work that defined science fiction and Gothic horror.

Told through a series of letters and first-person accounts, the story focuses on scientist Victor Frankenstein, his attempts to animate a creature he made from the pieces of corpses, and his quest to destroy said creature after he brings it to life.

Like many people, I was familiar with this story from the numerous film adaptation of it. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find not just a sci-fi/horror story, but an exploration of morality and what it means to be human. I didn’t like the parts leading up to Victor’s bring the monster to life or those immediately afterward. But I adored the portions from the creature’s point of view and learning how he learned to be human, both the good and bad aspects.

I connected with his loneliness and struggle to connect with a world that hated him because of his appearance. I would love to read/watch a story depicting the creature’s journey from barely sentient to eloquent philosopher.

Victor came off as an egotistical bastard, and I was rooting for the creature by the end for how Victor abandoned him and then seeks to destroy him, all because he didn’t bother to teach what is effectively a child how to behave.

Ultimately, I see “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” not as a critique on science gone wrong but a critique on society, humanity, and how we treat the other. I give it 4.5 stars out of 5.0.

You should definitely read this if you weren’t assigned it in school.

Raison D’etre

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As I approach 40, I’m reckoning with my own mortality; no longer a young adult but not yet middle aged, I ponder the meaning of life.

Experience has shown me there is no grand plan, no reason for everything. We’re just bags full of chemicals rolling around the mud ball we call Earth.

That we were born or not was a dice roll thrown by the universe. Who we are, what we do, who we love? All meaningless in the end.

Just like life.

Everything that lives must die. It is the nature of the young to supplant the old. Everything eventually breaks, even us.

We might think we’re special, but on the cosmic scale we’re dust in the wind. One day soon we will die, one day we will be forgotten, one day the stars will burn out and the universe will cease expanding and collapse.

Next to that, what meaning does our fart of an existence have? I’ll tell you: none, except that which we give them.

Therein lies the great horror and the great joy. We can be slaves to this harsh reality or be the captains of our fate.

How we look at it is up to us.