NaNoWriMo

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. –Lao-tzu

What do you do on the days when nothing seems to mesh? Do you sit there and stare at the blank screen, or do you make the choice to write anyways?

There’s no secret method or app for this. You must put words to the page everyday if you want to better your skills and honor the craft. With NaNoWriMo coming up what better time to recommit yourself to writing.

This will be my first time attempting it and I’m a little scared. But I’m going to plow through my fears because I know I have a good story in me that needs to be told. And so do you.

First drafts are mysterious, often crappy, creatures by nature. The point is to get the words on to the page and worry about spelling, grammar, punctuation and structure later. Just write.

Right now I’m stressing out on have to start my novel because it’s the second of a planed trilogy. My gut says just write a passage linking the end of book one with book two and go from there. But I also don’t wont to bore readers by rehashing the ending of the first book.

I don’t know what to write but I know I can’t put it off either or I’ll fall behind. So when Friday comes I’ll write what feels right and go from there.

I’d be much obliged if you shared some tips for a newbie in the comment sections.

Later.

 

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu
image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Halloween

Once again Halloween is upon us, but have you ever stopped to wonder why we celebrate this holiday?

The answer is community. The days have grown colder and shorter, so what better way to stay connected then by dressing in costumes and going door-to-door for treats.

Second only to Christmas as my favorite holiday, it was the one night of the year you got to stay out late and came home with pillow cases full of candy.

The procedure was always the same: fruits got tossed and then you shorted through your bag, treating the ones you didn’t like, and then it was off to bed. One years we got so much candy we were still eating it come Christmas.

Halloween also allows us to be someone else for one night and have fun. Horror movies are a big part of this experience because we all like a good scare to make our hearts beat faster and remind us we’re still alive.

That spine-tingling shock as the monster gets back up or the killer crashes through the door, axe in hand. And laughing at others as they fall for the old jump scare scene.

I remember one year we were Watching A Nightmare on Elm St and my younger brother got so scared he refused to sleep in his room down in the basement until he turned on all the lights and checked for monsters.

Freddie, Jason, Michael Myers, Pin Head I can never get enough of the bloody goodness and love this time of year as many channels show all my favorites.

Out of the hundreds I’ve seen of the years Monster Squad, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and The Lost Boys still rank up there. Granted they’re tame by today’s standards but still fun to watch.

 

 

 

Just Write

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Just write and the words will come. Just write until you’re done. Just write, and have some fun. Just write, whether the crack of dawn or dead of night. Just write, whether the words are wrong or right.

Just write, through the storm and the rain, through all the pain. Whether plain or insane let your prose flow. And like a rose your confidence grows. Just write and wrong or right let the words fall where they may. Just write every day and soon you’ll say, “Hey I’m not so bad. In fact, I’m quite OK.”

Just write because every day is a new chance to make amends with our faults and flaws, because in the end all we have are the words we put to the page. Just write because it’s all that you can think of. Just write not for fame or to run a con game, but because you love it all the same.

Just write for the hell of it. If no one knows your name there’s no shame as long as you have something to say at the end of the day. Just write because it’s the one thing that makes you complete. Just write even when managing a few words is a feat. Just write because it’s neat. Just write until you fall asleep.

Just write because deep inside a part of you dies every time you have to lie or hide who you are just to get by. Just write until you die. It doesn’t matter why, just write. Good night.

 

How to Influence People and Make Friends Without being a Dick

“To thine own self be true.” –Shakespeare
How often has the above been pounded into our heads? But what does it really mean?

How can you be true to yourself if you have no idea who you are, or what you’re capable of?

The truth is most of us don’t have a clue about our identities until we hit our thirties,or beyond. For most of our lives we play at different roles, trying on one mask after another until we find one that fits.

Raise your hand if you remember going through one of these phases during high school or college. It’s OK. We all have our moments. I went through a goth phase in high school where I only wore dark clothing.

I abhorred anything thing that was name brand because I was trying to be so indie and cool by not be a conformists. But you know what I realized?

By trying to be a nonconformist I conformed to the notion of what it meant to be a nonconformist.

I traded one label for another and had become another demo toe b marketed to. The truth is the things you wear or the products you have don’t define you. It’s your thoughts and actions that do.

You can spend a life time chasing after a label in hopes of finding an identity or you can let your real personality shine through, and let that speak for its self.

Yes it’s scary to let others see who you are at your core but it’s also rewarding. Because when you’re at ease with yourself nothing can rock your confidence and people will notice it.

In the past when I went I used to be the guy that sat in the corner and glared at everyone for having fun and not inviting me. I was so on the defensive because the thought of someone seeing the real me and getting rejected was my biggest fear.

It was only after I stopped caring what others though that I began to loosen up and have fun. And you know what I discovered?

When you stop trying to impress others and just have fun people respond positively. Sure you’ll still get the occasional jerk but overall being open and fun makes for a better time.

You can be open to new things and people without sacrificing your core values and still be fun to be around. Don’t be a dick and dickish things won’t happen to you.(Tweet that if you want to).

Step one is to open yourself up. Wear comfortable clothes and if you have a song or mantra that gets you pumped up, listen to that before you go out. Realize it’s more about how you carry yourself than anything. So go into any meeting or outing with an air of calmness around you.

If you start to feel nervous repeat to yourself you’re here just to have fun and whatever happens, happens. You’d be surprised how not giving a fuck often leads to the best times out.

The key is to be approachable and go with the flow. If you get shot down move on. There’ll be plenty of others to meet and everyone’s so sloshed they wont remember you anyways . So go get some.

The Audacity to Hope

What makes for good stories? Why do we decide to read one thing but put down another? Why do we like one character and not another? The answer boils down to how we are able to identify and empathize with the characters and the trials they’re put through.

Every time we open a book we’re looking to be entertained, but more importantly to know we’re not alone, that we matter, and that there’s hope for better days.

When you write something there’s no telling how much it will affect others once you release it into the world.

Our job as writers is to hold up a mirror to society and report on what we see. The worlds we build are a reflection of this, wrong or right, and we should never forget the power we hold to raise people up or tear them down.

This doesn’t mean we should shy away from negative things because life is full of them, but is also full of positive things too. How our characters deal with the challenges in their life speaks volumes more than anything else. Are they victims or victors?

Everyone loves an underdog because deep down we’ve all been on the short end of life and wish that the world rewarded hard work and playing by the rules, and that nice guys finished first.

Cliched as it may be the truth is even the most hardened cynic hopes for a happily ever after, that good triumphs evil, and the boy gets the girl.

Though we know it’s foolish to believe in things like love at first sight and destiny we still hope none the less things turn out as they’re supposed to.

Yes hope is the reason we get up every day and go once more into the breach. The reason we rise even though the world throws us a ton of crap. Hope is the reason we answer no when we are told to give up.

So often we’re told to be realistic which translates to giving up our dreams and giving up hope.Well I say forget that because at the end of the day all we have is our hopes and dreams.

Never let anyone take them from you because sometimes just sometimes, with hard work and a lot of trying, dreams do come true. If you dare to hope.

Plot Landmines

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong will, at the worst possible time.

In your everyday life mishaps and tardiness are frowned upon, but in fiction these are the life blood of conflict. A character misses the big date or forgets her briefcase and the that big meeting at work turn out horrible.

Conflict is what drives the narrative and ultimately what gets readers to care about our characters. If nothing bad ever happens then why should they care about Ms. So’n So?

No this doesn’t mean you throw in bad things at random. You have the characters go through trials and tribulations and make the stakes real for them.

You as the writer must be willing to torture your characters so at the end of their journey they’ve earned that happy ending, otherwise readers will feel cheated.

This is where Murphy’s Law comes in; have little mishaps turn out to be colossal in magnitude. E.G. have that minor accident result in a law suit in which your character losses and become destitute.

Or have them build up to a larger crisis she has to overcome. The point is these obstacles must happen organically or you run the risk of having an over convoluted plot, or worse one where the reader is bored because the protagonist comes out unscathed no matter the challenge.

One method I use is called plot land mines. You lure the reader into a false sense of security by having things go the protagonist’s way awhile then BOOM.

An enemy attacks, destroying the center of operations or characters die due to the protagonist’s over confidence in battle or as reprisals for his/her earlier actions.

Again the trick is to be organic while having the events flow as natural consequences of these earlier actions, while ratcheting up the conflict without being convoluted.

Update

Sorry I haven’t been posting that much this week. My allergies has my eyes a blurry mess, though I manage to write a few posts on my smartphone.

Therapy has been going well and we’re getting to the core of this. It’s not easy but I know it’s for the best. My meds had been knocking me for a loop the past few months though I’ve adjusted to them and should be back on a normal sleep schedule.

Last night I went out with my writing group and we had a blast. It was the perfect thing to improve my mood. In between crude jokes we talked about progress on our projects. Overall it was nice besides the food which was so-so, but I’m glad I went.

Right now I’m in this transitional in my life and in my writing. I don’t want to spent the rest of my life waiting on the sidelines because I’m scared of what might happened. I also don’t want to play at writing anymore.

Yeah I finished two books but so what. It’s time to put myself out there more so from here on out Friday and the weekends will be devoted to short stories, essays, and poem writing.

I probably wont be posting as often because I’ll be spending more time on work I think is more important than this blog but I will continue to write everyday and if I feel it’s good enough you’ll read it here.

As such I’m opening submissions for guest posts to fill the vacancies. The criteria is simply: 100-300 words or more(depending on the topic) on any topic that relates to the writer life, inspires or motivates. Well that’s it, later.

A Writer by Any Other Name

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

The are many aspects to writing but the most difficult one is the art side of it. You can spend years learning the technical side yet fail to be a great or engaging story teller. For some this can get better with practice , for others not so.

It’s something we all must wrestle with. The only way to know either way is to produce and then perform in public. When I write I first care about whether it’s something I would read then let the characters take things from there. While I outline and do tons of research  it’s the getting from point A to B that the art side kicks in, often taking the story in directions I hadn’t foreseen.

My point is no one can teach you to be a writer, you either are or aren’t. But they can show you how to be a better one. If you’re like me then you’ve read countless articles and books on the subject of writing preparing for the day you’re ready for the pros, but you know what?
That day will never come unless you write. Sure that’s basic you say, however it’s often the hardest thing to do. Everyday I  write something and it doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad. The point is to write  and learn something from the process.
There are mornings writing will be the last thing on your mind but  do it anyways because like everything else you’ll only get better with practice.
Today I didn’t know what I was going to write about,  much less did I want to write, but once I sat down and got to it the words came pouring out. This isn’t magic it’s because I put in the time consistently.
So let me leave you with these words of advice: if you want to be a writer own it and write something and share it. Why not here in the comments section?

More

Am I the only one who is sick of the places for gay/bi guys? Why is it that the moment you log in you’re bombarded with ads for porn and sexy toys? What happened to platonic relationships? All you see is a sea of NSA and fwbs.

Why is that because your into dudes you have to sell your self like a whore on the corner? Where are the sites where people build each other up instead of treating each other like pieces of meat?

Am I the only one who’s sick of random sex with strangers? What happened to dating and getting to know someone before having sex so it means something?

I’ve had my share of hook ups in the past, and you know what? I want something more than a few minutes of pleasure. I need emotional content, the kind of sex that only comes from knowing your partner inside and out.

For this reason I’ll remain abstinent until the right person comes along. You can do your own thing but right now this is want I feel is right for me.

 

Fears

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” –FDR’s first inaugural address

Lately I’ve been feel off my game. The meds I’m on make me drowsy and have been messing up my sleep schedule. I’m in this in between time where I’m transiting my blog from being just another in the sea of blog about writing to one that helps people. And let me teal it’s scary.

But the only way to grow is to branch out and try new things. I don’t know how things will turn out, but I do know if I don’t overcome this fear I’ll regret it and get fed up with writing again.

One of the biggest obstacles we as writers have to face is ourselves. Every morning you have to make the decision whether you write something or play around.

While both have their place in the writer’s life if you want to affect others you have to produce work that goes beyond the mediocre and grabs the reader by the soul and never lets go and that’s hard work.

The problem is a catch twenty-two. If no one reads your blog why bother right, but if you put the time into your work people will appreciate when they find it. Your job is to produce the best work you can and with a lot luck and hard work you’ll reach the right audience but this something that may take years.

So unless you’re in it for the long haul do something else because that fear never goes away. You just get better at dealing with it. Fear of a thing gives it power over you; if you want to succeed then reclaim that power and use to write your magnum opus. Yes you may stumble along the and even fail but you will never get anywhere as long as you let your fears control you.

 

 

Therapy Thursday 2

Last weekend I went to my Parents’ house to celebrate my 29th birthday. Nothing unusual about that, until my sister showed up. My youngest nephew, Marcus, was sick and by the en of the weekend every one save me was too.

However come that Monday I wasn’t feeling good and by Thursday I was running a fever, hacking up phlegm and had achy joints.

It reminded me of when I was a kid and get sick because I had the weirdest dream. There I was in a white void with hundred of me. Then one of them in a janitor outfit came over and told me he was a replicant sent to guide me, and in order to get out I’d to confront my shadow selves.

One by one I did until I woke cover in a cold sweat an joints throbbing.
While still dazed from the dream I wrote down the basics and now know how book two of the Phoenix Diaries will begin.

Often times I find some of my best Ideas com to me in dreams, and the more vivid the dream the better the idea.

I still feel a bit off so I’m going to rest up the rest of the weekend and hit the gym on Monday and see how that goes.

Due to a scheduling mix up I didn’t have to pay for therapy this week and my date was changed to Wednesdays at 1:45.

While therapy is a place for me to vent I do want goals for going there. First I want to get to a place were I’m not always worry about what ifs and always on the defensive when going to new places or meeting new people.

I also want to address childhood abuse and how that has influenced relationship and sexuality. I want to get to a place where I can have a long term relationship if I choose to with out all the trust issues.

Another issue is put together a plan to get my license back so I can be mobile thus removing my dependence on parents and public transit and allowing me to meet more people. I know all of these can’t be accomplished at once but it’s get to get them down so I have a framework to deal with in future sessions.

That’s it for now,

well later.

Editing Shmediting

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Rewriting is writing, but that doesn’t mean it’s fun. The past few weeks I’ve gone through three rewrites of my WIP as I get it ready to ship publishers.

While some parts have been fun like rediscovering lines and scenes that have me giggling or going aw, the over all process is an exercise in monotony.

I get you want your manuscript in sterling condition to avoid the slush pile, but maybe next time I should invest in a third party to editor.

I don’t know this is all new to me. So if anyone has experience with third party editors and editing in general hit me up in the comments section.

Well later,

and keep those fingers to the keys

Rainbow Revolution

If you’ve read m/m fiction online chances are you’ve come a cross a disturbing trend wherein these characters have no self esteem and never stand up for themselves, unless it’s to defend their perfect boyfriends.

I’ve written about this subject before, however today I want to discuss A particularly insidious brand of these stories, namely the stories where the main character(s) internalize homophobic ideas.

Straight Acting
this character is based on the assumption all homosexuals are effeminate, drag queens with rainbows shooting out their assess.

They engage in activities associated with heterosexual males and are “Straight” except in the bedroom. The problem with theses characters is they reinforce the archaic notions of gender roles while conflating sexuality with gender.

Big Man On Campus The BMOC centers around a “straight” character who is the quintessential Alpha Male, yet questions his sexuality once meeting the new effeminate gay guy.

The problem with this is it feeds into the fallacies that people can choose their sexuality and that LGBTQ folks are out to “convert heterosexuals to their life style.”

It also shares the same problems with Straight Acting. While people discover their sexuality at different times of their life they don’t suddenly go from one end of the spectrum to the other over night like in these stories.

Nor do they jump into relationships right off the bat. This discovery process varies and then there’s the adjustment period before you become comfortable admitting it to yourself, let alone others.

The Sub
Let me start out by saying whatever two more consenting adult do in their bed is their business. However with him it’s all about being humiliated. He has such a low opinion of himself, due to internalized homophobia, he doesn’t just get off on being treated like a piece of crap, he believes he is crap.

He seeks out being humiliated and if events like being gang raped or stomped by the football time happen then all the more better because he deserved it.
These tropes are a statement on the mind set of LGBTQ folks in America and elsewhere. While the march for marriage equality continues there are still issues of mental health and well being that aren’t being addressed.

People of color in the gay community struggle with homelessness and violence at higher rate than their white brothers and sisters, and often times can’t come out for fear of losing their home and violent reprisals from those in the black community and the larger society.

And then there’s the racism within the LGBTQ community that gets ignored or denied even exists.

There’s also the up tick of new infections of young gay/bi white males based on the belief HIV/AIDS is no biggie because you take a few pills and you’re good which leads to a culture where one’s status doesn’t matter so why be truthful about it if it means not hooking up with that cutie in the corner.

Then there’s the culture of drugs and sex that often go hand in hand at the clubs and circuit parties where people let strangers bareback them on the say so he’s clean.

Maybe if we spent half the time on these issues as marriage equality the community wouldn’t be so fucked up. I don’t know? Maybe it’s time for another revolution in the same vein as Stone Wall, this time pushing for the issues above.

Who knows maybe in another decade or so things will change and we’ll be talking about people coming out as straight since being LGBTQ has become the new normal. You tell me.

I Will Not Bow

All is lost again, but I’m not giving in. I will not bow. I will not break. I will shut the world away. I will not fall. I will not fade. I will take your breathe away.
—Breaking Benjamin, I will Not Bow

 

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, play the cards life dealt you, and a thousand more sayings which all boil down to: life isn’t easy so make the best of it. Everyone is different, but at our core we are the same and experience the same things as we go through life.

The difference is in how we handle the rough patches in life. Are they challenges for us to overcome and learn from, or they obstacles for to hold us back?

The choice is yours.

For the longest time I went through life viewing every rough patch as another obstacle in a long line of set backs. I was a victim and blamed everyone else for my troubles. Then I had an epiphany.

No one is responsible for how your life turns out, except YOU!

You can view the world as a hostile place with people out to get you at every corner, or you can choose the see the good in people while remaining a realist.

The point is you have to be the source of change in your life. You have to take those first steps and continue moving forward making the best decisions you can.

No one is going to hold your hand all your life. You have to find the strength to carry on everyday. And most importantly no one can use your talents or the gifts given to you.

You have to be the one to use them or lose for good. When you’re lost or scared look inward and you’ll know what to do.

The 10 People You Meet on Public Transit

If you’ve spent any time on public transit then chances are you’ve met one of thee people below.

10.The Mouth
You hear him/her long before you him/her. Their loud mouths are their defining trait. If they’re not on their phones you can bet they’re engaged in one conversation or another. Be sure to pack your ear plugs.

9.The Hustler
No matter what they’re selling you can be sure there’s some funny business involved. Avoid unless you like having your money ganked. Often will try to get out of paying bus fare with one scheme or another.

8. The Wannabe Gangster
He talks a big game, but when it comes down to it no body is afraid of this loser.

7. The Crazy
Easily Identifiable by his/her disheveled looks and tendency to talk to invisible people, approach with caution. Sometimes it’s impossible to avoid them and if you must interact keep contact to a minimum.

6.The Jesus Freak
Often overlaps with above these people will never miss a chance to turn the conversation to Jesus. Either tune them out or turn up the tunes.

5. The Cutie
Occasionally you’ll come across this person and be struck with cupid’s arrow. Good luck trying to talk to him/her. Having no ride is such a game killer.

4. The Clown
Often overlapping with The Mouth their reason for being is acting a fool. (S)he is mostly likely to raise the ire of the bus driver and get ejected. Failing this ignore these fools and they will simmer down.

3. The Whiner
These professional victims look to complain about how messed up their lives are and will to whomever lets them. Let wallow in their pity parties and move on.

2. The Average Passenger
The majority of the people you meet, just wants to get off the bus and go home. Generally keeps to themselves and avoids as much drama as possible.

1.The Driver
Woe be upon those who get on their bad side. I’ve

seen them go from calm to livid in a matters of seconds. Tread lightly unless you enjoy walking home in the snow or deathly heat .