The Audacity to Hope

What makes for good stories? Why do we decide to read one thing but put down another? Why do we like one character and not another? The answer boils down to how we are able to identify and empathize with the characters and the trials they’re put through.

Every time we open a book we’re looking to be entertained, but more importantly to know we’re not alone, that we matter, and that there’s hope for better days.

When you write something there’s no telling how much it will affect others once you release it into the world.

Our job as writers is to hold up a mirror to society and report on what we see. The worlds we build are a reflection of this, wrong or right, and we should never forget the power we hold to raise people up or tear them down.

This doesn’t mean we should shy away from negative things because life is full of them, but is also full of positive things too. How our characters deal with the challenges in their life speaks volumes more than anything else. Are they victims or victors?

Everyone loves an underdog because deep down we’ve all been on the short end of life and wish that the world rewarded hard work and playing by the rules, and that nice guys finished first.

Cliched as it may be the truth is even the most hardened cynic hopes for a happily ever after, that good triumphs evil, and the boy gets the girl.

Though we know it’s foolish to believe in things like love at first sight and destiny we still hope none the less things turn out as they’re supposed to.

Yes hope is the reason we get up every day and go once more into the breach. The reason we rise even though the world throws us a ton of crap. Hope is the reason we answer no when we are told to give up.

So often we’re told to be realistic which translates to giving up our dreams and giving up hope.Well I say forget that because at the end of the day all we have is our hopes and dreams.

Never let anyone take them from you because sometimes just sometimes, with hard work and a lot of trying, dreams do come true. If you dare to hope.

Plot Landmines

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong will, at the worst possible time.

In your everyday life mishaps and tardiness are frowned upon, but in fiction these are the life blood of conflict. A character misses the big date or forgets her briefcase and the that big meeting at work turn out horrible.

Conflict is what drives the narrative and ultimately what gets readers to care about our characters. If nothing bad ever happens then why should they care about Ms. So’n So?

No this doesn’t mean you throw in bad things at random. You have the characters go through trials and tribulations and make the stakes real for them.

You as the writer must be willing to torture your characters so at the end of their journey they’ve earned that happy ending, otherwise readers will feel cheated.

This is where Murphy’s Law comes in; have little mishaps turn out to be colossal in magnitude. E.G. have that minor accident result in a law suit in which your character losses and become destitute.

Or have them build up to a larger crisis she has to overcome. The point is these obstacles must happen organically or you run the risk of having an over convoluted plot, or worse one where the reader is bored because the protagonist comes out unscathed no matter the challenge.

One method I use is called plot land mines. You lure the reader into a false sense of security by having things go the protagonist’s way awhile then BOOM.

An enemy attacks, destroying the center of operations or characters die due to the protagonist’s over confidence in battle or as reprisals for his/her earlier actions.

Again the trick is to be organic while having the events flow as natural consequences of these earlier actions, while ratcheting up the conflict without being convoluted.

Update

Sorry I haven’t been posting that much this week. My allergies has my eyes a blurry mess, though I manage to write a few posts on my smartphone.

Therapy has been going well and we’re getting to the core of this. It’s not easy but I know it’s for the best. My meds had been knocking me for a loop the past few months though I’ve adjusted to them and should be back on a normal sleep schedule.

Last night I went out with my writing group and we had a blast. It was the perfect thing to improve my mood. In between crude jokes we talked about progress on our projects. Overall it was nice besides the food which was so-so, but I’m glad I went.

Right now I’m in this transitional in my life and in my writing. I don’t want to spent the rest of my life waiting on the sidelines because I’m scared of what might happened. I also don’t want to play at writing anymore.

Yeah I finished two books but so what. It’s time to put myself out there more so from here on out Friday and the weekends will be devoted to short stories, essays, and poem writing.

I probably wont be posting as often because I’ll be spending more time on work I think is more important than this blog but I will continue to write everyday and if I feel it’s good enough you’ll read it here.

As such I’m opening submissions for guest posts to fill the vacancies. The criteria is simply: 100-300 words or more(depending on the topic) on any topic that relates to the writer life, inspires or motivates. Well that’s it, later.

A Writer by Any Other Name

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

The are many aspects to writing but the most difficult one is the art side of it. You can spend years learning the technical side yet fail to be a great or engaging story teller. For some this can get better with practice , for others not so.

It’s something we all must wrestle with. The only way to know either way is to produce and then perform in public. When I write I first care about whether it’s something I would read then let the characters take things from there. While I outline and do tons of research  it’s the getting from point A to B that the art side kicks in, often taking the story in directions I hadn’t foreseen.

My point is no one can teach you to be a writer, you either are or aren’t. But they can show you how to be a better one. If you’re like me then you’ve read countless articles and books on the subject of writing preparing for the day you’re ready for the pros, but you know what?
That day will never come unless you write. Sure that’s basic you say, however it’s often the hardest thing to do. Everyday I  write something and it doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad. The point is to write  and learn something from the process.
There are mornings writing will be the last thing on your mind but  do it anyways because like everything else you’ll only get better with practice.
Today I didn’t know what I was going to write about,  much less did I want to write, but once I sat down and got to it the words came pouring out. This isn’t magic it’s because I put in the time consistently.
So let me leave you with these words of advice: if you want to be a writer own it and write something and share it. Why not here in the comments section?

Fears

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” –FDR’s first inaugural address

Lately I’ve been feel off my game. The meds I’m on make me drowsy and have been messing up my sleep schedule. I’m in this in between time where I’m transiting my blog from being just another in the sea of blog about writing to one that helps people. And let me teal it’s scary.

But the only way to grow is to branch out and try new things. I don’t know how things will turn out, but I do know if I don’t overcome this fear I’ll regret it and get fed up with writing again.

One of the biggest obstacles we as writers have to face is ourselves. Every morning you have to make the decision whether you write something or play around.

While both have their place in the writer’s life if you want to affect others you have to produce work that goes beyond the mediocre and grabs the reader by the soul and never lets go and that’s hard work.

The problem is a catch twenty-two. If no one reads your blog why bother right, but if you put the time into your work people will appreciate when they find it. Your job is to produce the best work you can and with a lot luck and hard work you’ll reach the right audience but this something that may take years.

So unless you’re in it for the long haul do something else because that fear never goes away. You just get better at dealing with it. Fear of a thing gives it power over you; if you want to succeed then reclaim that power and use to write your magnum opus. Yes you may stumble along the and even fail but you will never get anywhere as long as you let your fears control you.

 

 

Therapy Thursday 2

Last weekend I went to my Parents’ house to celebrate my 29th birthday. Nothing unusual about that, until my sister showed up. My youngest nephew, Marcus, was sick and by the en of the weekend every one save me was too.

However come that Monday I wasn’t feeling good and by Thursday I was running a fever, hacking up phlegm and had achy joints.

It reminded me of when I was a kid and get sick because I had the weirdest dream. There I was in a white void with hundred of me. Then one of them in a janitor outfit came over and told me he was a replicant sent to guide me, and in order to get out I’d to confront my shadow selves.

One by one I did until I woke cover in a cold sweat an joints throbbing.
While still dazed from the dream I wrote down the basics and now know how book two of the Phoenix Diaries will begin.

Often times I find some of my best Ideas com to me in dreams, and the more vivid the dream the better the idea.

I still feel a bit off so I’m going to rest up the rest of the weekend and hit the gym on Monday and see how that goes.

Due to a scheduling mix up I didn’t have to pay for therapy this week and my date was changed to Wednesdays at 1:45.

While therapy is a place for me to vent I do want goals for going there. First I want to get to a place were I’m not always worry about what ifs and always on the defensive when going to new places or meeting new people.

I also want to address childhood abuse and how that has influenced relationship and sexuality. I want to get to a place where I can have a long term relationship if I choose to with out all the trust issues.

Another issue is put together a plan to get my license back so I can be mobile thus removing my dependence on parents and public transit and allowing me to meet more people. I know all of these can’t be accomplished at once but it’s get to get them down so I have a framework to deal with in future sessions.

That’s it for now,

well later.

Editing Shmediting

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Rewriting is writing, but that doesn’t mean it’s fun. The past few weeks I’ve gone through three rewrites of my WIP as I get it ready to ship publishers.

While some parts have been fun like rediscovering lines and scenes that have me giggling or going aw, the over all process is an exercise in monotony.

I get you want your manuscript in sterling condition to avoid the slush pile, but maybe next time I should invest in a third party to editor.

I don’t know this is all new to me. So if anyone has experience with third party editors and editing in general hit me up in the comments section.

Well later,

and keep those fingers to the keys

Rainbow Revolution

If you’ve read m/m fiction online chances are you’ve come a cross a disturbing trend wherein these characters have no self esteem and never stand up for themselves, unless it’s to defend their perfect boyfriends.

I’ve written about this subject before, however today I want to discuss A particularly insidious brand of these stories, namely the stories where the main character(s) internalize homophobic ideas.

Straight Acting
this character is based on the assumption all homosexuals are effeminate, drag queens with rainbows shooting out their assess.

They engage in activities associated with heterosexual males and are “Straight” except in the bedroom. The problem with theses characters is they reinforce the archaic notions of gender roles while conflating sexuality with gender.

Big Man On Campus The BMOC centers around a “straight” character who is the quintessential Alpha Male, yet questions his sexuality once meeting the new effeminate gay guy.

The problem with this is it feeds into the fallacies that people can choose their sexuality and that LGBTQ folks are out to “convert heterosexuals to their life style.”

It also shares the same problems with Straight Acting. While people discover their sexuality at different times of their life they don’t suddenly go from one end of the spectrum to the other over night like in these stories.

Nor do they jump into relationships right off the bat. This discovery process varies and then there’s the adjustment period before you become comfortable admitting it to yourself, let alone others.

The Sub
Let me start out by saying whatever two more consenting adult do in their bed is their business. However with him it’s all about being humiliated. He has such a low opinion of himself, due to internalized homophobia, he doesn’t just get off on being treated like a piece of crap, he believes he is crap.

He seeks out being humiliated and if events like being gang raped or stomped by the football time happen then all the more better because he deserved it.
These tropes are a statement on the mind set of LGBTQ folks in America and elsewhere. While the march for marriage equality continues there are still issues of mental health and well being that aren’t being addressed.

People of color in the gay community struggle with homelessness and violence at higher rate than their white brothers and sisters, and often times can’t come out for fear of losing their home and violent reprisals from those in the black community and the larger society.

And then there’s the racism within the LGBTQ community that gets ignored or denied even exists.

There’s also the up tick of new infections of young gay/bi white males based on the belief HIV/AIDS is no biggie because you take a few pills and you’re good which leads to a culture where one’s status doesn’t matter so why be truthful about it if it means not hooking up with that cutie in the corner.

Then there’s the culture of drugs and sex that often go hand in hand at the clubs and circuit parties where people let strangers bareback them on the say so he’s clean.

Maybe if we spent half the time on these issues as marriage equality the community wouldn’t be so fucked up. I don’t know? Maybe it’s time for another revolution in the same vein as Stone Wall, this time pushing for the issues above.

Who knows maybe in another decade or so things will change and we’ll be talking about people coming out as straight since being LGBTQ has become the new normal. You tell me.

I Will Not Bow

All is lost again, but I’m not giving in. I will not bow. I will not break. I will shut the world away. I will not fall. I will not fade. I will take your breathe away.
—Breaking Benjamin, I will Not Bow

 

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, play the cards life dealt you, and a thousand more sayings which all boil down to: life isn’t easy so make the best of it. Everyone is different, but at our core we are the same and experience the same things as we go through life.

The difference is in how we handle the rough patches in life. Are they challenges for us to overcome and learn from, or they obstacles for to hold us back?

The choice is yours.

For the longest time I went through life viewing every rough patch as another obstacle in a long line of set backs. I was a victim and blamed everyone else for my troubles. Then I had an epiphany.

No one is responsible for how your life turns out, except YOU!

You can view the world as a hostile place with people out to get you at every corner, or you can choose the see the good in people while remaining a realist.

The point is you have to be the source of change in your life. You have to take those first steps and continue moving forward making the best decisions you can.

No one is going to hold your hand all your life. You have to find the strength to carry on everyday. And most importantly no one can use your talents or the gifts given to you.

You have to be the one to use them or lose for good. When you’re lost or scared look inward and you’ll know what to do.

Digging for Gold

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Introduction

I just got back form the gym and I’m tired and achy, but I feel alive. Often you hear stories about how you must write every day, preferably a thousand words or more, but how often have you heard the truth?

Quality not Quantity

Those thousand words, or whatever your goal is, will seldom win the Pulitzer. But you keep at it every day doing a bit better than yesterday and when you look up there’s that article, or WIP you’ve been meaning to complete, all finished.

Anyone can write every day, but not everyone can make it count. You have to sift through those crappy pieces to find bits of gold that will become your magnum opus.

Be a Hoarder

Save everything you write because you never know when that phrase or paragraph will come in handy later. Also this is a good exercise in charting your growth as a writer. I’m often amazed, good and bad, at pieces I wrote earlier. Especially in terms of how my outlook on life has changed as I’ve gotten older.

Once is a Fluke. Twice, a Coincidence. Three Times, a Pattern Emerges

If you find yourself writing about the same topic maybe it’s time to collect those pieces and begin writing a book or find new topics to write about.

Conclusion

Fret not. What you write isn’t as important as how you write it. We all have off days, the important thing is to keep trying until you strike literary gold.

Peaks and Valleys

That which doesn’t kill me, only makes me stronger–Fredrick Nietzsche

Life is full of peaks and valleys, the trick is to enjoy the good times and hold on to them in the bad times. It’s easy to get caught up in your hurt or anger and stew in your emotions until you’ve become a bitter old prune.

It’s up to you whether you let your set backs define you or you pick yourself up and try again. It’s easy to give up before you’ve started. Trust me I know.

I used to criticize everything but never offered solutions and was a general downer who was never satisfied with anything.

But then I made a choice to stop complaining and start doing. Anyone can talk a big game but when it comes down to it not many can back up their words with actions.

I’d been calling myself a writer yet didn’t write or only wrote in sporadic bursts when it felt right.

That is until I made a commitment to the craft and discovered Jeff Goins’s Tribe Writer Program and within three months had finished my first novel and began work on my second one, which I just finished.

I’m not going to lie, there were rough patches along the way and I stumbled, but it was in those dark times I learned what I was made of.

Anyone can shine when everything goes your way the but the mark of true determination is doing what you’re called to do when everything is against you.

Yes, keep your goals realistic. But also dare to dream because otherwise you’ll churn out mediocre crap. There will be times you want to quit. Don’t.

That’s when you dig in and find that inner strength to carry you on through.

Don’t see obstacles as road blocks but as learning experiences. With every set back or rejection letter you learn something and your writing gets betters.

image by Benjamine Earrwick via sxc.hu
image by Benjamine Earrwick via sxc.hu

Therapy Thursday 1

I was the quintessential black nerd: glasses, asthma and would rather read the dictionary than play sports. Like many of my ilk I got teased for acting white e.g. speaking with proper diction, using correct grammar and doing well at school.

At first I ignored it but as the years wore on I couldn’t take it. I stopped caring about learning, and thought about suicide more and more each day. On particularly bad days I’d lock myself into the bathroom at home and cry my eyes out.

It was during these dark times I retreated to a fantasy world where I was strong, never got sick and didn’t take crap from anyone. As time wore on i build walls to keep everyone out. If nobody got in they couldn’t hurt. People come and go, it’s pointless to become attached became my motto.

I prided myself on being above petty emotions and using logic to solve my problems. But the truth was I hadn’t vanquished my emotions but merely suppressed them.

As the years rolled by I learned you can’t stay behind the walls you’ve built if you want live a full life. The first step came when I met my first boyfriend. He was shyer than I and that required me to drop my defenses and become more active. While we broke up we’re it not for me I’d probably still be living in my head.

Since then I’ve learned to let others in and although you will get hurt you will also stumble upon great friends like those in my critique group. I never would have met them if I didn’t take the plunge and come to the first meeting.

I was petrified and didn’t come back for a few months but once I started attending regular meeting I learned so much form them, chief among them that I could write and the main obstacle holding me back was my fear of rejection and not being good enough.

Thanks to them and Jeff Goins Tribe Writer program I’ve gained the confidence to complete two novels, and will begin work on a third shortly, all in less than a year. There have been some bumps along the road.

I went through a four moth depression spell beginning in January of this year. It was thanks to my critique group that I was able to claw my way out that pit and begin getting my life in order.

Writing has not only given me a voice and platform to share my message but has also become a form of therapy for me. I’m still in the habit of bottling everything up but I find writing out my thoughts and emotions before they become overwhelm me is like a soul colonic.

Over the past four years I’ve struggled with mental health issues but last week I took the fist steps to managing it by seeing a psychiatrist and scheduling weekly visits with a councilor. My appointment is tomorrow and I can’t wait.

How to Overcome Your Fears Like a Boss

He who has overcome his fears will be truly free–Aristotle

How many times have you let your fears hold you back from doing what you want? How many opportunities how you missed out on because you were afraid of failure?

The truth is we get comfortable and don’t want to rock the boat for fear of being rejected or the odd one out. So we play it safe thinking things could be better but this is good enough. We keep going through the motions waiting for the time to come when we can move on to the next phase of things.

But sometimes that will only come if you put yourself out there and risk failing. In the seduction community this is known as approach anxiety, the fear or being rejected before you approach, but tit’s also known as the by stander effect.

Often no one wants to be the first to speak up or do any thing until they see others doing it.

The solution is to practice getting blown out, ie desensitize yourself to be rejected/failing. For writers that means you do what Jeff Goins calls performing in public.

You must submit your work to publishes. If you get rejected, so what? You move on and learn from you mistakes. Eventually you’ll hit your stride and others will start noticing your work and publishing it.

This is called hitting your number in pick up artist lingo and represents the point at which you’ve opened yourself up enough to interact with others without being paralyzed by approach anxiety.

But how do you do this?

You have to have courage.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the will to get up and continue moving in spite of your fears. As with anything start small and move on to larger goals. In this way you able to progress and break larger goals down to manageable chunks and keep inspired to reach them.This is called building positive momentum an is a great tool for keeping on task and not allowing your fears to overcome you.

Another issue with overcoming your fears is knowing when to walk away. If things aren’t going your way it’s OK to quit and try something else for awhile. The point is you continue moving forward to reach your goals. If twitwr is not thing try instagram or pinterest. If those don’t walk try face book, blogging, or something else until you connect with audience and find your tribe.

Yeah, I’m not going to lie. It’s going to be hard work, and sometimes you’ll want to quit all together but don’t. Because the moment you stopped trying you’ve failed.Seldom does anything come easy in life which is why you have to practice to get better at whatever your passion is and then perform in public, hit your number and continue building positive momentum to reach larger goals.

I hope this article was helpful and inspiring. Leave your comments below and remember to subscribe to my mailing for updates on the blog and other projects.

 

How Not to Get Burnt Out

Lately I’ve been on a poetry kick. I’d forgotten how much fun playing with words could be. The simply act of string words together and making magic out of nothing.

Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect every time, we don’t stop to have fun with what we’re doing. No one likes grinding out piece after piece so you can make a living. But that doesn’t you have to hate the process.

When you free yourself to have fun playing around with words, it releases your creative juices. Stop trying to impress everyone and concentrate on yourself.

You can always go back to the piece later. The point is to write fast and have fun while doing it. One technique I’ve found that works is to use written kitten or some other program that rewards you for typing X amount of words.

Another technique is to let the characters decide what happens next. This can be scary at first because their decisions can radically the plot line you had in place.

This is a good because it means you’re tuned in with the world of your story and have freed yourself to play around. If something doesn’t work, don’t worry be happy. Keep going until you’ve reached the end then do the big edits.

The point is to find your passion and allow it to take you over so you can reach for something beyond the ordinary and transcend the mediocre things you’ve been producing.

When I write it’s first for myself. Then on the rewrite I keep the reader in mind and remember to kill my darlings so things don’t get bogged down by dead wood and fluff.

I also take time away from writing to work on other things and recharge those creative juices by watching movies or TV, or reading something.

The point is we need to strike a balance between producing the best product we can, while indulging the creative side of ourselves. Otherwise we run the risk of getting burnt out and no one likes when that happens.

You Know You’re a Writer If

 

1.You keep a note pad by the side of the bed for when ideas strike in the middle of the night.

2.The voices in your head aren’t a cause for alarm.

3. You’re familiar with the following phrases:

Kill your darlings.”

Omit needless words.

Writing is really easy. Just tap a vein and bleed on to the page.

Rewriting is writing.

Glue your butt to the chair and don’t get up until you’ve written something.

4.You’ve thought, “Hey I could come up with something better than this crap,” after reading/watching something.

5.You carry a notebook or your cell to jot down observations and snippets of conversations whenever you go out.

6. You wished your muse had a GPS tracker so you knew exactly where to find it.

7. While reading this you’ve started making your own list.

8. You’ve said, “I’d rather be writing.”

9. You’ve experienced the manic highs and soul crushing depressions that comes with the process, yet wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

10. You write!