Pinky and the Brain

I finished the first draft of book one of the Phoenix Diaries and started on the rewrite of my other book. So without further ado here’s the first chapter.

“Don’t worry I won’t bite, unless you’re into that?” Mike looked Amber in the eyes and ran his hand up her back.

Amber pulled him close and bit his bottom lip just enough for Mike to feel it, then pulled away with a smirk on her face.

Not to be outdone Mike laid a chaste kiss on her full lips, and then transitioned to French kissing her. He pulled back drawing a moan from her then walked away. He counted to 3 and like clockwork the blonde called after him and they exchanged numbers. Mike showed her a few joint locks and submission holds, then excused himself and promised they would hang out soon.

“Oorah!” Mike said. He’d k-closed his three hundredth set and had opened his thousandth set.

It was a quarter to one and no sign of the screw crew yet.
“Nigga, where you at?” Mike said when Luke picked up after the fifth ring.

“Ease up B—he said through a yawn—Give me like an hour. My ass is still tired from them freaky hoes I hooked up with last night. Where you at son?”

“I should smack the black off yo ignorant ass. You knew we were sarging today. Seriously, I told your ass not to mess with those skanks cuz we’d be pulling HB9 and 10s. Son, I pulled 5 HB9s and it hasn’t been an hour yet.”

Mike scoped out the food court and then sat down.

“B, you know the rules. No sarging unless the crew’s together. You owe us two sets.”
Luke yawned then scratched his butt.

“What can I say that pussy was calling my name and I couldn’t resist. Tell ya what, I’ll give you first crack at all HB8 and 9s. But if you get blown out, then it’s game on. And you know damn well I’m at Great Lakes Crossing. I swear if your dick wasn’t attached you’d forget it too.”

Mike ran his hand over his wavy hair and noted it was almost time to line up his low top fade.

“Aw you got jokes? Don’t forget I remember when your ass couldn’t pull a grenade. so don’t get conceited Brain. I’ll holla at you later,” Luke said then hung up and hit the showers.

With two months left before the start of 11th grade Mike was on pace to break his all time record of 20 hook ups in a month. As he scrolled through all the hot babes he’d landed, he came upon a picture he’d nearly forgotten: his former best friend Pinky was dressed up like Santa while his brothers, Jaden and Kaden, dressed like elves. God he hadn’t thought about them in forever.

And he smiled.

Mike met the hyper blonde in the sixth grade, and became friends after Pinky pestered him to death to hang out. And then there were the hellacious twins who he whipped into gentlemen using all the tricks his dad taught. Most of all he remembered how much he loved Pinky and the promise they made to each other, but Mike shook his head and locked those thoughts away.

All things considered his life was good. He had a bunch of friends from the swim, wrestling, football and track teams. He had a decent job at Ed’s Dojo teaching karate and jujitsu classes and lifeguarded at a local public pool, but it wasn’t all good.

He had to deal with his dad who pushed him into tons of extracurricular AP and community college courses. But as long as he was the perfect soldier and kept his grades up he could come and go as he pleased.

Granted he had to give James a full itinerary, and if he didn’t answer when his father called it was a weekend in the Pit. But Mike’s father had been hinting at a car for his 17th birthday, and he was counting the days until October.

Mike started in on his bacon cheeseburger and root beer float when he received a text from Luke saying they’d be there in thirty minutes. He finished off his lunch, punctuating it with a loud burp, causing a boy three tables over to burst into laughter.

“Something funny cocksucker?”
Mike jumped to his feet and stared him down.

“Who you callin’ a cocksucker?” the boy said with a slight New York accent and came towards Mike. They circled around each other. Mike dropped his chin, put up his fists and in one fluid move dropped his weight, bent his knees and delivered a right upper cut.

The other boy tackled him to ground, but Mike broke his fall and wrapped his legs around the waist of the smaller teen . The boy tried to break Mike’s rear guard. failing that he attempted front choke hold.

Mike trapped his right arm and transition to back mount, then wrapped his right leg around the kid’s throat in a triangle hold. The boy tapped out and they helped each other to their feet and then sat down to catch their breath.

“You’re pretty good. How long have you been doing BJJ?”
Mike looked at the blonde with a new found respect.

“Not long. just about two years now. How about you? I’m Jack by the way,” he said and extended his hand.
Just then a mall security guard came up to them and asked them to follow him to the holding area. They complied and watched him he waddled away. Once in the holding area the security guard asked for their names.

“Well don’t y’all talk at once,” he said and tapped his pen on the clipboard.

“Michael Jordan Smith.”

“Jack Moses Johnson.”

The pair looked at each and said, “No way!” and then hugged each other.

“You two know each other?”

“Know each other? we’re practically brothers. Fuck man good to see ya,” he said crushing Jack in a bear hug.Jack returned the hug with vigor and hoped Mike couldn’t fell his boner through the thin khaki shorts he was wearing.

“OK since you appear to know each other I’mma letcha off with a warning, but act up again and your banned for the rest of summer.”
“Understood Sir,” Mike said and they left.
“That was a close call.”
“Yeah,” Jack said trying to contain his emotions.
“ Anyways I’ve had my purple belt for like 5 months, and about to test for brown belt. I’ve missed you…”
Mike stopped mid-sentence when he heard Luke’s ring tone blare form his cell. After a short chat he told Jack goodbye and apologized. He made his way to where Luke, Aaron, Jason and Chris were in a three set with two blondes—Kim and Christina—and Gabriela, a hot Latina.

He pulled out his trusty inhaler, introduced himself to the group, then merged the set and targeted Gabriela.

“Excuse me but you should come with a warning label. Cuz you take my breath away.” He took a puff of his inhaler and Gabriela laughed, while Kim chuckled a bit at the cheesy line.

“You call that game?” Christina said, hands on hips.

“Nope it’s the truth, check the prescription,” Mike said and flashed his innocent face then handed over the inhaler.

“OK but your game is still garbage,” she said and drew a smirk from Mike.

“ She’s cute, for a blonde, but I guess her mother never taught her how a lady should act, huh?” he said to Gabriela who fought to hold back a laugh. But Kim wasn’t as successful.

Christina’s face flushed red and she laid into Kim.

“I see anger management classes in this one’s future,” he said while Luke and the others watched on waiting to see if he got blew out the set.

“Oh stop it.”

Gabriela smacked him on the head.

Christina rounded on Mike with a look that promised death. Luke and the boys cracked up and counted the seconds till it was their turn. Mike stood up straight and put his hands behind his back.

“My dearest apologizes, how uncouth of me not to introduce myself properly. Michael Smith.”

He bowed then extended his hand. Christina looked towards the other girls who told her to her to be nice.

“Pleasure to meet you my lady,” Mike said then kissed her hand drawing awes from the other girls, but Christina still wasn’t buying it.

“You think you’re slick, but I know what you’re trying to do and it aint happening.”

“Sorry but you’re not my type,” Mike said cool as ever.

“Oh?”

“Yes, you’re much too innocent. I wouldn’t feel right corrupting you.”

“Really now?” Christina said leaning into Mike with a predatory glint in her eyes.

“Yep and I’ll prove it to you. Here hold this for a second. I need to go talk to my friend Jack for a minute.”

He handed her his inhaler then walked away.

***

Jack watched the exchange with a quizzical look on his face and shook his head. Straight guys are so weird sometimes, but he could still see glimpses of the boy he fell in love with years ago.

“Sorry about that but duty called. Now where were we?” Mike plopped down beside him as if nothing had happened.

“Um what heck was all that about?” Jack said pointing to Luke and the girls.

” That was just me using the asthma kid opener, disarming the obstacle and then pumping BT.”

“Umm OK, but why’d you give her your inhaler?”

“Oh I used it as a lock in prop so I have an excuse to go talk to her later.”

“What?”

“I swear, you’re totally AFC,” Mike said pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing, “Never mind dude, you’re a lost cause anyways. So like what have been up to?”

“First answer me this: Why do they call you B?”

“It’s short for Brain, the. Basically I’m the go-to guy for homework and test prep.”

“Oh, OK. Umm do you remember when we were younger and used to hang out?”
“Yeah, why?”

And then it Mike.

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Yes, but where are we going to hook up with all these people around?”

“Eww you shit head. Hey, why didn’t you tell me you moved back?”

“We just got back like three days ago and are still unpacking. But what about our promise? You pinky swore we’d keep in touch you asshole,” Jack said and socked Mike in the arm.

“Look dude give me your number and we’ll catch up OK?”

Mike grinned showing off his elongated canines and dimpled cheeks.

“Sure man you promise?”

Jack’s face blushed and brought out his brown eyes.

“Yeah I pinky swear,” he said then looked around, and when Mike was sure no one was looking, locked his pinky with Jack’s. They did a one arm hug and parted ways.

“Mike?”

Jack’s once confident voice faltered as he stood up and then averted his eyes.
“Yeah?”

Mike turned back looking over his shoulder with hands in his baggy jeans.

“I still love you man.”

Jack’s eyes met Mike’s. He smiled and then played with his puka shell necklace.

Mike turned around and whipped his hand across his nose.
“Seriously, after all this time?”

“Always, man.”

“I love you too, no homo. Sorry about that and earlier. Well later,” Mike mumbled and walked away.

He put on his game face and tried to forget what Jack said. He approached the set, reintroduced himself and then targeted Christina.

“See told ya so.”

He smirked then stretched his arms out before placing them behind his head.

“Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes and then returned his inhaler.

Mike titled his head and placed his fingers on his dimpled checks while giving her his sad puppy face and asked how she could stay made at this face.
Christina’s defenses shattered and at Mike’s insistence she gave up her number to Luke, who’d been glaring at Mike the whole time. He retargeted Gabriela and got her to kiss close.
Luke whined about Mike cock blocking him and they got into an argument over who had dibs on Christina.
“Not my fault you a weak nigga trying to take pussy that don’t belong to you,” Mike said drawing a chorus of “damn son” from the others.

“B, we boys and all but I will straight jaw ya if you keep trying to hoe me.”

Luke jabbed a finger into Mike’s chest.Mike stepped forward so he was right in Luke’s face.

“Because we’re boys I’ll let that slide, but don’t you ever try to holla at me like that again. Is that understood?”

“B—”

Luke was cut off then backed up and balled his hands into fists.

“I said is that understood!?”

Always the peace maker of the group Chris was the one who usual pulled Mike out of Drill Sergeant mode. He told then to squash their beef and they move on to the next set.

“Sorry man, but you know I don’t take shit from anyone. Dad would kick my ass if I did. You feel me?”

Mike stuck out his hand.

“A’ight my pops is crazy too, but cool it with that shit.” Luke high-fived him and the matter was settled.

After a long day of sarging Mike had netted five more numbers and by week’s end he’d have Amber in his bed. He yawned then cracked back and got to his nightly work out.

Fifty one-handed pushed with each arm, followed by a hundred crunches then katas for 30 minutes. Mike whipped off face then got out Buster, his training dummy, and dropped into Basic Warrior Stance and pummeled it with punches, kicks, and elbow strikes until satisfied he’d done enough.

He pulled out his Ka-Bar Combat knife and began slashing Buster’s neck fifty times with each hand then moved on to thrusts. Stifling another yawn he got his practice riffle with a bayonet and ran slashing drills and then for good measure he bashed Buster’s head with the butt of the riffle thirty times.

“Hey boy, lights out in an hour,” James said sticking his head into Mike’s room.

“OK Sir. Just finishing up here.”

“Good boy. Looks like Buster has seen better days hmm? Tell you what if you can take me to the deck I’ll let you have my car when I’m not using it for the rest of summer. Deal?”

“Sir yes sir!”

Mike shook James’s hand, they fell into Basic Warrior Stance and then circled around each other.
James fired off a round kick nearly missing Mike, who countered with a right elbow strike to James’s sternum. He followed up with a left hook, but James moved forward, blocked it then grabbed Mike’s arm and threw him over his shoulder. Mike broke his fall and rolled to the side as James’s foot stomped where his chest had been.

“Double or nothing?” Mike said and got back into stance.

“OK but you’ll have to do all the chores for a month if you lose,” James said, smugness oozing from his every pore.

Mike stepped forward, faked to the right and came under James’s guard. He unbalanced James and swept his leg , taking him to the deck. Before the elder could counter Mike put him in a leg bar.
Shelia glared at the pair on the floor and said, “What in the heck is going on in here?”

“Sweetie, it’s nothing. Me and Mike are sparring is all.”

James smiled through gritted teeth as Mike applied more pressure to his kneecap.
Shelia shook her head then left after Mike released James.

“Sneaky kiddo. Keep it up and you’ll be ready to take me on for real. But don’t get cocky.”
He ruffled Mike’s hair then sucker punched him in the gut.

“Yeah Dad thanks,” he groaned then continued, “since I’m getting older don’t you think it’s about time I can go to the House of Pain by myself?”

Mike straightened up and rubbed his stomach.

“OK you’ll be heading off to college in a bit so you’ll need all the training you can get, but only if you keep your grades up and stay out of trouble,” James said and patted him on the back.

Mike flashed his trademark smirk.

“Don’t I always?”

“Hey now don’t act brand new. You’re not too old to be taken over my knee. Lights out in 30. I’m getting too old for this mess. ”

James hobbled out nursing his shoulder and leg.

“Sorry. Goodnight Sir.”

“Night Mike and the pass codes to the storage locker and security alarm is 7638.”

Mike yawned then finally took off his weighted vest and stretched out on his bed until his spine popped. Then he applied vitamin E to his back and shoulders. He checked his face book account and saw a new friend request from Jack “Pinky” Johnson. He froze.

He loved the hell out of the kid, but the last time they met Mike’s world turned upside down. Hey what’s the worst that could happen, right? He accepted the request then logged off and made a note to Skype Kyle and the other Soldier Boys.