Rainbow Revolution

If you’ve read m/m fiction online chances are you’ve come a cross a disturbing trend wherein these characters have no self esteem and never stand up for themselves, unless it’s to defend their perfect boyfriends.

I’ve written about this subject before, however today I want to discuss A particularly insidious brand of these stories, namely the stories where the main character(s) internalize homophobic ideas.

Straight Acting
this character is based on the assumption all homosexuals are effeminate, drag queens with rainbows shooting out their assess.

They engage in activities associated with heterosexual males and are “Straight” except in the bedroom. The problem with theses characters is they reinforce the archaic notions of gender roles while conflating sexuality with gender.

Big Man On Campus The BMOC centers around a “straight” character who is the quintessential Alpha Male, yet questions his sexuality once meeting the new effeminate gay guy.

The problem with this is it feeds into the fallacies that people can choose their sexuality and that LGBTQ folks are out to “convert heterosexuals to their life style.”

It also shares the same problems with Straight Acting. While people discover their sexuality at different times of their life they don’t suddenly go from one end of the spectrum to the other over night like in these stories.

Nor do they jump into relationships right off the bat. This discovery process varies and then there’s the adjustment period before you become comfortable admitting it to yourself, let alone others.

The Sub
Let me start out by saying whatever two more consenting adult do in their bed is their business. However with him it’s all about being humiliated. He has such a low opinion of himself, due to internalized homophobia, he doesn’t just get off on being treated like a piece of crap, he believes he is crap.

He seeks out being humiliated and if events like being gang raped or stomped by the football time happen then all the more better because he deserved it.
These tropes are a statement on the mind set of LGBTQ folks in America and elsewhere. While the march for marriage equality continues there are still issues of mental health and well being that aren’t being addressed.

People of color in the gay community struggle with homelessness and violence at higher rate than their white brothers and sisters, and often times can’t come out for fear of losing their home and violent reprisals from those in the black community and the larger society.

And then there’s the racism within the LGBTQ community that gets ignored or denied even exists.

There’s also the up tick of new infections of young gay/bi white males based on the belief HIV/AIDS is no biggie because you take a few pills and you’re good which leads to a culture where one’s status doesn’t matter so why be truthful about it if it means not hooking up with that cutie in the corner.

Then there’s the culture of drugs and sex that often go hand in hand at the clubs and circuit parties where people let strangers bareback them on the say so he’s clean.

Maybe if we spent half the time on these issues as marriage equality the community wouldn’t be so fucked up. I don’t know? Maybe it’s time for another revolution in the same vein as Stone Wall, this time pushing for the issues above.

Who knows maybe in another decade or so things will change and we’ll be talking about people coming out as straight since being LGBTQ has become the new normal. You tell me.

I Will Not Bow

All is lost again, but I’m not giving in. I will not bow. I will not break. I will shut the world away. I will not fall. I will not fade. I will take your breathe away.
—Breaking Benjamin, I will Not Bow

 

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, play the cards life dealt you, and a thousand more sayings which all boil down to: life isn’t easy so make the best of it. Everyone is different, but at our core we are the same and experience the same things as we go through life.

The difference is in how we handle the rough patches in life. Are they challenges for us to overcome and learn from, or they obstacles for to hold us back?

The choice is yours.

For the longest time I went through life viewing every rough patch as another obstacle in a long line of set backs. I was a victim and blamed everyone else for my troubles. Then I had an epiphany.

No one is responsible for how your life turns out, except YOU!

You can view the world as a hostile place with people out to get you at every corner, or you can choose the see the good in people while remaining a realist.

The point is you have to be the source of change in your life. You have to take those first steps and continue moving forward making the best decisions you can.

No one is going to hold your hand all your life. You have to find the strength to carry on everyday. And most importantly no one can use your talents or the gifts given to you.

You have to be the one to use them or lose for good. When you’re lost or scared look inward and you’ll know what to do.

The 10 People You Meet on Public Transit

If you’ve spent any time on public transit then chances are you’ve met one of thee people below.

10.The Mouth
You hear him/her long before you him/her. Their loud mouths are their defining trait. If they’re not on their phones you can bet they’re engaged in one conversation or another. Be sure to pack your ear plugs.

9.The Hustler
No matter what they’re selling you can be sure there’s some funny business involved. Avoid unless you like having your money ganked. Often will try to get out of paying bus fare with one scheme or another.

8. The Wannabe Gangster
He talks a big game, but when it comes down to it no body is afraid of this loser.

7. The Crazy
Easily Identifiable by his/her disheveled looks and tendency to talk to invisible people, approach with caution. Sometimes it’s impossible to avoid them and if you must interact keep contact to a minimum.

6.The Jesus Freak
Often overlaps with above these people will never miss a chance to turn the conversation to Jesus. Either tune them out or turn up the tunes.

5. The Cutie
Occasionally you’ll come across this person and be struck with cupid’s arrow. Good luck trying to talk to him/her. Having no ride is such a game killer.

4. The Clown
Often overlapping with The Mouth their reason for being is acting a fool. (S)he is mostly likely to raise the ire of the bus driver and get ejected. Failing this ignore these fools and they will simmer down.

3. The Whiner
These professional victims look to complain about how messed up their lives are and will to whomever lets them. Let wallow in their pity parties and move on.

2. The Average Passenger
The majority of the people you meet, just wants to get off the bus and go home. Generally keeps to themselves and avoids as much drama as possible.

1.The Driver
Woe be upon those who get on their bad side. I’ve

seen them go from calm to livid in a matters of seconds. Tread lightly unless you enjoy walking home in the snow or deathly heat .

Belle Isle

Though my childhood was rough their were light patches sprinkled throughout. I remember the trips we took to Belle Isle: all of us scrunched up in Dad red Nissan, doubled, sometimes tripled up on each other’s lap.

My favorite part was going through the tunnel of orange lights. Once we  reached them I knew it was only a little bit further until we got there and I could play.

We’d build sand castle and swim at the beach. We’d also barbecue in the half oil drums turned grills.

I can still remember the sight of smoke wafting off them. The smell of hot dogs, hamburgers and sides of ribs cooking and the smell of barbecue sauce fills my nose as I remember this.

And when that wasn’t an option we’d ride the giant slide. Waiting in line felt like forever, but really had to have been only ten, fifteen minutes tops. We’d pair up on the straw mats you had to ride on and of we went. The rides always seemed to be over in an instant.

When you’re a kid things are skewed. Minutes seem like years and a week is an eternity in kid years.

On one trip I remember every time my uncle and his girlfriend went into the water the sun went behind a cloud. I got mad and thought they were responsible for ruining a nice day at the beach.

Looking back on this now I laugh. I couldn’t have been older than five when this happened. Aw, the folly of being a kid, when the most innocuous of things could bring you delight or fright. That magical time when you believed everything and knew nothing.

But I’ll never forget one memorable trip.

We’d stopped at Popeye’s Chicken on the way there and the seagulls were out in full force circling above us. Things were fine until my sister Sherrie stuck our a drumstick and a gull dive bombed her and pilfered the piece of poultry from her hand. She cried until Dad gave her another one and told her not to do that again.

As I got older trips to Belle Isle became fewer until we stopped going at all. In its place were trips to the mall or other places to shop. When the sweltering heat got too much to bear we headed to Rouge Park and their public swimming pools.

The chlorinated water stung your eyes and burned your throat if swallowed some by accident. They made you shower before entering the pools ,but must of us only splashed some water under our arms and that did the trick.

Digging for Gold

image by Stancu Alexandru via sxc.hu

Introduction

I just got back form the gym and I’m tired and achy, but I feel alive. Often you hear stories about how you must write every day, preferably a thousand words or more, but how often have you heard the truth?

Quality not Quantity

Those thousand words, or whatever your goal is, will seldom win the Pulitzer. But you keep at it every day doing a bit better than yesterday and when you look up there’s that article, or WIP you’ve been meaning to complete, all finished.

Anyone can write every day, but not everyone can make it count. You have to sift through those crappy pieces to find bits of gold that will become your magnum opus.

Be a Hoarder

Save everything you write because you never know when that phrase or paragraph will come in handy later. Also this is a good exercise in charting your growth as a writer. I’m often amazed, good and bad, at pieces I wrote earlier. Especially in terms of how my outlook on life has changed as I’ve gotten older.

Once is a Fluke. Twice, a Coincidence. Three Times, a Pattern Emerges

If you find yourself writing about the same topic maybe it’s time to collect those pieces and begin writing a book or find new topics to write about.

Conclusion

Fret not. What you write isn’t as important as how you write it. We all have off days, the important thing is to keep trying until you strike literary gold.

Peaks and Valleys

That which doesn’t kill me, only makes me stronger–Fredrick Nietzsche

Life is full of peaks and valleys, the trick is to enjoy the good times and hold on to them in the bad times. It’s easy to get caught up in your hurt or anger and stew in your emotions until you’ve become a bitter old prune.

It’s up to you whether you let your set backs define you or you pick yourself up and try again. It’s easy to give up before you’ve started. Trust me I know.

I used to criticize everything but never offered solutions and was a general downer who was never satisfied with anything.

But then I made a choice to stop complaining and start doing. Anyone can talk a big game but when it comes down to it not many can back up their words with actions.

I’d been calling myself a writer yet didn’t write or only wrote in sporadic bursts when it felt right.

That is until I made a commitment to the craft and discovered Jeff Goins’s Tribe Writer Program and within three months had finished my first novel and began work on my second one, which I just finished.

I’m not going to lie, there were rough patches along the way and I stumbled, but it was in those dark times I learned what I was made of.

Anyone can shine when everything goes your way the but the mark of true determination is doing what you’re called to do when everything is against you.

Yes, keep your goals realistic. But also dare to dream because otherwise you’ll churn out mediocre crap. There will be times you want to quit. Don’t.

That’s when you dig in and find that inner strength to carry you on through.

Don’t see obstacles as road blocks but as learning experiences. With every set back or rejection letter you learn something and your writing gets betters.

image by Benjamine Earrwick via sxc.hu
image by Benjamine Earrwick via sxc.hu

Parents

Sorry for the lack of updates this weekend. I”m at my parents’ house and didn’t have the password for their Wi-Fi until today. Anyways, it seems like nothing has changed besides we’ve gotten older. My parents still have the same fights about money and my mother not having her cigarettes.

They wanted me to come to celebrate my birthday. I turned 29 this year and feel ancient. Yeah I know I have a while before that happens but there’s no denying I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m losing my hair and it’s getting harder to lose weight and keep it off, but that’s life.

I guess the main reason I’m writing this is because it seems like every time I go to my parents I revert back to being that kid who was afraid to  assert himself. I find myself retreating inward when I spend time with them and use my iphone and computer as added barriers between us.

I know they care about in their own warped way, but I find myself getting annoyed at my mother for smothering me. No I don’t want anything and if I did I’d get it myself. No I don’t need to go anywhere dad and If I did I’d find a way to get there with burdening you.

I guess the main issue is me resenting being treated like a kid and taking it out on them, though part of me thinks they’re just buttering me up to ask for money. It’s been about four or five years since we had a huge fight about them treating me like an ATM and I cut off contact with them for six months.

I’m always on edge on when it comes to discussing work and money because I know how people change once they find out you have more than the average person. I’m not Mitt Romney rich but I’m comfortable for the most part.

If I had to analyze it I’d say this is part of my larger issues with trust and abandonment. I fear being used or rejected by people once they know the real me. So I choose which face to show them and how much information to give them.

Most of the time I wear one mask or another, only taking it off when I’m alone in my house. Everything is a careful performance, one false not and the illusion is shattered.

I’ve begun taking off the mask with my critique group, therapist and others, but it’s hard and sometimes I’ll revert to old habits. I know perfection is a habit and that in order to get to a place where I don’t view everyone as a potential threat I have to do the hard work and keep at, especially when things get tough.

Wow, I didn’t intend to write this much but I guess I had more things on my mind than I thought.

Later.

 

Therapy Thursday 1

I was the quintessential black nerd: glasses, asthma and would rather read the dictionary than play sports. Like many of my ilk I got teased for acting white e.g. speaking with proper diction, using correct grammar and doing well at school.

At first I ignored it but as the years wore on I couldn’t take it. I stopped caring about learning, and thought about suicide more and more each day. On particularly bad days I’d lock myself into the bathroom at home and cry my eyes out.

It was during these dark times I retreated to a fantasy world where I was strong, never got sick and didn’t take crap from anyone. As time wore on i build walls to keep everyone out. If nobody got in they couldn’t hurt. People come and go, it’s pointless to become attached became my motto.

I prided myself on being above petty emotions and using logic to solve my problems. But the truth was I hadn’t vanquished my emotions but merely suppressed them.

As the years rolled by I learned you can’t stay behind the walls you’ve built if you want live a full life. The first step came when I met my first boyfriend. He was shyer than I and that required me to drop my defenses and become more active. While we broke up we’re it not for me I’d probably still be living in my head.

Since then I’ve learned to let others in and although you will get hurt you will also stumble upon great friends like those in my critique group. I never would have met them if I didn’t take the plunge and come to the first meeting.

I was petrified and didn’t come back for a few months but once I started attending regular meeting I learned so much form them, chief among them that I could write and the main obstacle holding me back was my fear of rejection and not being good enough.

Thanks to them and Jeff Goins Tribe Writer program I’ve gained the confidence to complete two novels, and will begin work on a third shortly, all in less than a year. There have been some bumps along the road.

I went through a four moth depression spell beginning in January of this year. It was thanks to my critique group that I was able to claw my way out that pit and begin getting my life in order.

Writing has not only given me a voice and platform to share my message but has also become a form of therapy for me. I’m still in the habit of bottling everything up but I find writing out my thoughts and emotions before they become overwhelm me is like a soul colonic.

Over the past four years I’ve struggled with mental health issues but last week I took the fist steps to managing it by seeing a psychiatrist and scheduling weekly visits with a councilor. My appointment is tomorrow and I can’t wait.

6 Tips For the Newbie Artist

Every artist was first an amateur. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

In this age where everyone claims to be an expert or gurus of something or other it can be daunting for the new kid on the block. However fret not. Everyone has to start somewhere and once you know where your faults and forts like then you can begin improving your skills.

Practice

I for one used to write crappy poems and stories that would make your eyes bleed. However by taking the time to learn the craft and practice everyday I’ve gotten better. The same applies to you. There is much room for you to grow no matter your current skill level.

Perform

The same is true of you. If you want to become an expert in your niche that means putting in the time and effort to become component, not only writing wise but also in connecting with your audience.

Engage The Audience

Find out their hopes, dreams fears and aspirations, and then produce content that addresses them. For instance my niche is nerd/geek culture with a focus on LGBTQ folks within them. In this way I can address the problems of my niche while having crossover appeal to the larger LGBTQ and geek/nerd cultures.

image by Billy Alexander via sxc.hu
image by Billy Alexander via sxc.hu

While you’ll hear the occasional over night success story the truth is the majority of artists must go through the everyday grind, churning mediocre, working crappy job they hate. Until one day they find they touch greatness. Then things fall in place and they get recognized for all the hard work they put in.

Define success

If you fantasize about being the next King or Rowling but don’t put in the effort you’re deluding yourself. Even if you write all day everyday you still might not reach those heights. The publishing has changed drastically and continues to be in flux.

Does success mean getting agent and having a contract with a traditional publisher, or publishing your work online through programs like Amazon’s KDP, Smash word, or wattpad? Or going it alone with ebooks?

Shipping
No matter the route you take once you send your work out into the world there’s no going back to the drawing board, so it’s incumbent upon you to produce the best product you can so you have a base of life time consumers ready in the wings for your next product.

 

 

An Audience of Moi

I got back From the gym a few minutes ago and it was one those days. I’ve put on 12 pounds in less than a week and could barely run half a mile in ten minutes. Granted I worked out my legs for an hour before hand.

What does this have to do with writing or LGBTQ issues you may be asking right about now?

Everything.

See the pressure to be the best gets drilled in your head ad nauseum. Every time you to click on a m2m site you get bombarded with ads for porno sites and sex items, all reinforcing the notion that you aren’t good enough as is.

Well I’m here to tell you you’re fine the way you are. Sure exercise if you want to stay in shape or stave off diabetes or other obesity related diseases. But not so you can conform to some exaggerated notion of male beauty.

The same is true when it comes to writing. Everyday it seems some new guru appears with the promise that if you take his/her course you’ll become the next Rowling, King or E.L. James.

The truth is while some of these courses offer valuable information most are of fill of shit or worse: things you already know. This is also true when it comes to free information.

Most of the time the things being pitched on twitter and elsewhere are the same nuggets of information repackaged. Write what you know, kill your darlings, show don’t tell, etc.

While these are all good things to know when you’re starting out hearing them stated over and over again becomes puerile.

You can spend thousands on courses and conferences, and hundreds of hours on social media trying to build your brand and establish a platform, and still fail.

Why?

Because you forgot the most important thing. Write first for the joy of it, not because you’re chasing the latest trend or seeking your fortune. Readers are more clever than you give them credit for and will sniff out your bullshit in a heartbeat.

For this reason I limit my time on social media sites and concentrate on producing the best work I can. So when it comes time to ship I have a small core of readers who tell me where I went wrong and how to fix it before I ship to the general public.

One genuine reader is worth a thousand fakes who only look at your work once it becomes cool/hip. This is what building a tribe is all about and why you should be focused on that instead of trying to write like so and so.

Don’t conform to others’ notions of what it means to be a writer. Set your own standards and damn the critics and cynics because when you do something you love and find joy in doing it every day you’ve won.

 

 

How to Overcome Your Fears Like a Boss

He who has overcome his fears will be truly free–Aristotle

How many times have you let your fears hold you back from doing what you want? How many opportunities how you missed out on because you were afraid of failure?

The truth is we get comfortable and don’t want to rock the boat for fear of being rejected or the odd one out. So we play it safe thinking things could be better but this is good enough. We keep going through the motions waiting for the time to come when we can move on to the next phase of things.

But sometimes that will only come if you put yourself out there and risk failing. In the seduction community this is known as approach anxiety, the fear or being rejected before you approach, but tit’s also known as the by stander effect.

Often no one wants to be the first to speak up or do any thing until they see others doing it.

The solution is to practice getting blown out, ie desensitize yourself to be rejected/failing. For writers that means you do what Jeff Goins calls performing in public.

You must submit your work to publishes. If you get rejected, so what? You move on and learn from you mistakes. Eventually you’ll hit your stride and others will start noticing your work and publishing it.

This is called hitting your number in pick up artist lingo and represents the point at which you’ve opened yourself up enough to interact with others without being paralyzed by approach anxiety.

But how do you do this?

You have to have courage.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the will to get up and continue moving in spite of your fears. As with anything start small and move on to larger goals. In this way you able to progress and break larger goals down to manageable chunks and keep inspired to reach them.This is called building positive momentum an is a great tool for keeping on task and not allowing your fears to overcome you.

Another issue with overcoming your fears is knowing when to walk away. If things aren’t going your way it’s OK to quit and try something else for awhile. The point is you continue moving forward to reach your goals. If twitwr is not thing try instagram or pinterest. If those don’t walk try face book, blogging, or something else until you connect with audience and find your tribe.

Yeah, I’m not going to lie. It’s going to be hard work, and sometimes you’ll want to quit all together but don’t. Because the moment you stopped trying you’ve failed.Seldom does anything come easy in life which is why you have to practice to get better at whatever your passion is and then perform in public, hit your number and continue building positive momentum to reach larger goals.

I hope this article was helpful and inspiring. Leave your comments below and remember to subscribe to my mailing for updates on the blog and other projects.

 

Where’s the Line?

Last week in my post about genetic privacy I asked if technology was moving too fast and if we needed new guidelines to help us cope with this new world. This week my question to you is this. Is society better off if we allow science to progress with minimal restrictions?

I read in a recent article on the Huffingtonpost about naloxone and how this anti-opiate’s use to treat overdoses has been fought. The critics say it will lead to more drug use and overdoses.

However the larger picture here is that bureaucrats and politicians are deciding what’s right for people. Once again the will of the populous is being ignored so those in power can look good and line their pockets with bribes, I mean campaign contributions, from the pharmaceutical industry.

The old adage goes: there’s no profit in a cure. What does this have to do with science you may be asking yourself?

Everything.

Imagine if penicillin or the polo vaccine were denied to people on the grounds it would increase a person’s likelihood of engaging in activities that could put them at risk for these diseases.

Like wise imagine getting sick and when your doctor asks how you got that way and he/she didn’t like the answer could refuse to treat you. This is exactly the scenario which the blunt amendment allows for.

Doctors and other workers could refuse to treat patients on moral grounds or deeply held beliefs. What’s more your employer could do the same and opt out of covering things like birth control and treatment for AIDS/HIV.

So the question I again pose to you is this. While me need common sense legislation to address the rapid increase in technology and how we deal with each other, how do we also allow for those advances without stifling them?

10 Reasons Being Single Rocks

 

Most of us grew up with our heads filled with fantasies about a Prince/Princess Charming coming into our lives and then living happily ever other. Then reality struck and gave us a wake up call.

10. Being single means never having to compromise to please others.

9.You don’t have to explain where you’re going like you’re still a child.

8. You don’t have to wait on your significant other to finish getting ready when you go out.

7. You don’t have to worry about kids and finding someone to watch them so you can go out together.

6.If things don’t turn out how you expected you can pick up and go without having to worry about him/her and any kids you may have.

5.You have enough baggage of you’re own to deal with, without taking on someone else’s.

4.Never having to say you’re sorry for forgetting the anniversary of that time you once bought shag carpeting together and other such nonsense your partner deems worthy of celebration.

3.Never having to tailor you actions and words so as not to upset/hurt your partner’s feelings.

2. Having to find new ways to ask the same old questions while seeming interested about your partner’s day.

1. When it comes sex you never have to worry about spicing it up and you know it’s someone who loves you.

So what reasons do you like about being single?

Pinky and the Brain

I finished the first draft of book one of the Phoenix Diaries and started on the rewrite of my other book. So without further ado here’s the first chapter.

“Don’t worry I won’t bite, unless you’re into that?” Mike looked Amber in the eyes and ran his hand up her back.

Amber pulled him close and bit his bottom lip just enough for Mike to feel it, then pulled away with a smirk on her face.

Not to be outdone Mike laid a chaste kiss on her full lips, and then transitioned to French kissing her. He pulled back drawing a moan from her then walked away. He counted to 3 and like clockwork the blonde called after him and they exchanged numbers. Mike showed her a few joint locks and submission holds, then excused himself and promised they would hang out soon.

“Oorah!” Mike said. He’d k-closed his three hundredth set and had opened his thousandth set.

It was a quarter to one and no sign of the screw crew yet.
“Nigga, where you at?” Mike said when Luke picked up after the fifth ring.

“Ease up B—he said through a yawn—Give me like an hour. My ass is still tired from them freaky hoes I hooked up with last night. Where you at son?”

“I should smack the black off yo ignorant ass. You knew we were sarging today. Seriously, I told your ass not to mess with those skanks cuz we’d be pulling HB9 and 10s. Son, I pulled 5 HB9s and it hasn’t been an hour yet.”

Mike scoped out the food court and then sat down.

“B, you know the rules. No sarging unless the crew’s together. You owe us two sets.”
Luke yawned then scratched his butt.

“What can I say that pussy was calling my name and I couldn’t resist. Tell ya what, I’ll give you first crack at all HB8 and 9s. But if you get blown out, then it’s game on. And you know damn well I’m at Great Lakes Crossing. I swear if your dick wasn’t attached you’d forget it too.”

Mike ran his hand over his wavy hair and noted it was almost time to line up his low top fade.

“Aw you got jokes? Don’t forget I remember when your ass couldn’t pull a grenade. so don’t get conceited Brain. I’ll holla at you later,” Luke said then hung up and hit the showers.

With two months left before the start of 11th grade Mike was on pace to break his all time record of 20 hook ups in a month. As he scrolled through all the hot babes he’d landed, he came upon a picture he’d nearly forgotten: his former best friend Pinky was dressed up like Santa while his brothers, Jaden and Kaden, dressed like elves. God he hadn’t thought about them in forever.

And he smiled.

Mike met the hyper blonde in the sixth grade, and became friends after Pinky pestered him to death to hang out. And then there were the hellacious twins who he whipped into gentlemen using all the tricks his dad taught. Most of all he remembered how much he loved Pinky and the promise they made to each other, but Mike shook his head and locked those thoughts away.

All things considered his life was good. He had a bunch of friends from the swim, wrestling, football and track teams. He had a decent job at Ed’s Dojo teaching karate and jujitsu classes and lifeguarded at a local public pool, but it wasn’t all good.

He had to deal with his dad who pushed him into tons of extracurricular AP and community college courses. But as long as he was the perfect soldier and kept his grades up he could come and go as he pleased.

Granted he had to give James a full itinerary, and if he didn’t answer when his father called it was a weekend in the Pit. But Mike’s father had been hinting at a car for his 17th birthday, and he was counting the days until October.

Mike started in on his bacon cheeseburger and root beer float when he received a text from Luke saying they’d be there in thirty minutes. He finished off his lunch, punctuating it with a loud burp, causing a boy three tables over to burst into laughter.

“Something funny cocksucker?”
Mike jumped to his feet and stared him down.

“Who you callin’ a cocksucker?” the boy said with a slight New York accent and came towards Mike. They circled around each other. Mike dropped his chin, put up his fists and in one fluid move dropped his weight, bent his knees and delivered a right upper cut.

The other boy tackled him to ground, but Mike broke his fall and wrapped his legs around the waist of the smaller teen . The boy tried to break Mike’s rear guard. failing that he attempted front choke hold.

Mike trapped his right arm and transition to back mount, then wrapped his right leg around the kid’s throat in a triangle hold. The boy tapped out and they helped each other to their feet and then sat down to catch their breath.

“You’re pretty good. How long have you been doing BJJ?”
Mike looked at the blonde with a new found respect.

“Not long. just about two years now. How about you? I’m Jack by the way,” he said and extended his hand.
Just then a mall security guard came up to them and asked them to follow him to the holding area. They complied and watched him he waddled away. Once in the holding area the security guard asked for their names.

“Well don’t y’all talk at once,” he said and tapped his pen on the clipboard.

“Michael Jordan Smith.”

“Jack Moses Johnson.”

The pair looked at each and said, “No way!” and then hugged each other.

“You two know each other?”

“Know each other? we’re practically brothers. Fuck man good to see ya,” he said crushing Jack in a bear hug.Jack returned the hug with vigor and hoped Mike couldn’t fell his boner through the thin khaki shorts he was wearing.

“OK since you appear to know each other I’mma letcha off with a warning, but act up again and your banned for the rest of summer.”
“Understood Sir,” Mike said and they left.
“That was a close call.”
“Yeah,” Jack said trying to contain his emotions.
“ Anyways I’ve had my purple belt for like 5 months, and about to test for brown belt. I’ve missed you…”
Mike stopped mid-sentence when he heard Luke’s ring tone blare form his cell. After a short chat he told Jack goodbye and apologized. He made his way to where Luke, Aaron, Jason and Chris were in a three set with two blondes—Kim and Christina—and Gabriela, a hot Latina.

He pulled out his trusty inhaler, introduced himself to the group, then merged the set and targeted Gabriela.

“Excuse me but you should come with a warning label. Cuz you take my breath away.” He took a puff of his inhaler and Gabriela laughed, while Kim chuckled a bit at the cheesy line.

“You call that game?” Christina said, hands on hips.

“Nope it’s the truth, check the prescription,” Mike said and flashed his innocent face then handed over the inhaler.

“OK but your game is still garbage,” she said and drew a smirk from Mike.

“ She’s cute, for a blonde, but I guess her mother never taught her how a lady should act, huh?” he said to Gabriela who fought to hold back a laugh. But Kim wasn’t as successful.

Christina’s face flushed red and she laid into Kim.

“I see anger management classes in this one’s future,” he said while Luke and the others watched on waiting to see if he got blew out the set.

“Oh stop it.”

Gabriela smacked him on the head.

Christina rounded on Mike with a look that promised death. Luke and the boys cracked up and counted the seconds till it was their turn. Mike stood up straight and put his hands behind his back.

“My dearest apologizes, how uncouth of me not to introduce myself properly. Michael Smith.”

He bowed then extended his hand. Christina looked towards the other girls who told her to her to be nice.

“Pleasure to meet you my lady,” Mike said then kissed her hand drawing awes from the other girls, but Christina still wasn’t buying it.

“You think you’re slick, but I know what you’re trying to do and it aint happening.”

“Sorry but you’re not my type,” Mike said cool as ever.

“Oh?”

“Yes, you’re much too innocent. I wouldn’t feel right corrupting you.”

“Really now?” Christina said leaning into Mike with a predatory glint in her eyes.

“Yep and I’ll prove it to you. Here hold this for a second. I need to go talk to my friend Jack for a minute.”

He handed her his inhaler then walked away.

***

Jack watched the exchange with a quizzical look on his face and shook his head. Straight guys are so weird sometimes, but he could still see glimpses of the boy he fell in love with years ago.

“Sorry about that but duty called. Now where were we?” Mike plopped down beside him as if nothing had happened.

“Um what heck was all that about?” Jack said pointing to Luke and the girls.

” That was just me using the asthma kid opener, disarming the obstacle and then pumping BT.”

“Umm OK, but why’d you give her your inhaler?”

“Oh I used it as a lock in prop so I have an excuse to go talk to her later.”

“What?”

“I swear, you’re totally AFC,” Mike said pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing, “Never mind dude, you’re a lost cause anyways. So like what have been up to?”

“First answer me this: Why do they call you B?”

“It’s short for Brain, the. Basically I’m the go-to guy for homework and test prep.”

“Oh, OK. Umm do you remember when we were younger and used to hang out?”
“Yeah, why?”

And then it Mike.

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Yes, but where are we going to hook up with all these people around?”

“Eww you shit head. Hey, why didn’t you tell me you moved back?”

“We just got back like three days ago and are still unpacking. But what about our promise? You pinky swore we’d keep in touch you asshole,” Jack said and socked Mike in the arm.

“Look dude give me your number and we’ll catch up OK?”

Mike grinned showing off his elongated canines and dimpled cheeks.

“Sure man you promise?”

Jack’s face blushed and brought out his brown eyes.

“Yeah I pinky swear,” he said then looked around, and when Mike was sure no one was looking, locked his pinky with Jack’s. They did a one arm hug and parted ways.

“Mike?”

Jack’s once confident voice faltered as he stood up and then averted his eyes.
“Yeah?”

Mike turned back looking over his shoulder with hands in his baggy jeans.

“I still love you man.”

Jack’s eyes met Mike’s. He smiled and then played with his puka shell necklace.

Mike turned around and whipped his hand across his nose.
“Seriously, after all this time?”

“Always, man.”

“I love you too, no homo. Sorry about that and earlier. Well later,” Mike mumbled and walked away.

He put on his game face and tried to forget what Jack said. He approached the set, reintroduced himself and then targeted Christina.

“See told ya so.”

He smirked then stretched his arms out before placing them behind his head.

“Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes and then returned his inhaler.

Mike titled his head and placed his fingers on his dimpled checks while giving her his sad puppy face and asked how she could stay made at this face.
Christina’s defenses shattered and at Mike’s insistence she gave up her number to Luke, who’d been glaring at Mike the whole time. He retargeted Gabriela and got her to kiss close.
Luke whined about Mike cock blocking him and they got into an argument over who had dibs on Christina.
“Not my fault you a weak nigga trying to take pussy that don’t belong to you,” Mike said drawing a chorus of “damn son” from the others.

“B, we boys and all but I will straight jaw ya if you keep trying to hoe me.”

Luke jabbed a finger into Mike’s chest.Mike stepped forward so he was right in Luke’s face.

“Because we’re boys I’ll let that slide, but don’t you ever try to holla at me like that again. Is that understood?”

“B—”

Luke was cut off then backed up and balled his hands into fists.

“I said is that understood!?”

Always the peace maker of the group Chris was the one who usual pulled Mike out of Drill Sergeant mode. He told then to squash their beef and they move on to the next set.

“Sorry man, but you know I don’t take shit from anyone. Dad would kick my ass if I did. You feel me?”

Mike stuck out his hand.

“A’ight my pops is crazy too, but cool it with that shit.” Luke high-fived him and the matter was settled.

After a long day of sarging Mike had netted five more numbers and by week’s end he’d have Amber in his bed. He yawned then cracked back and got to his nightly work out.

Fifty one-handed pushed with each arm, followed by a hundred crunches then katas for 30 minutes. Mike whipped off face then got out Buster, his training dummy, and dropped into Basic Warrior Stance and pummeled it with punches, kicks, and elbow strikes until satisfied he’d done enough.

He pulled out his Ka-Bar Combat knife and began slashing Buster’s neck fifty times with each hand then moved on to thrusts. Stifling another yawn he got his practice riffle with a bayonet and ran slashing drills and then for good measure he bashed Buster’s head with the butt of the riffle thirty times.

“Hey boy, lights out in an hour,” James said sticking his head into Mike’s room.

“OK Sir. Just finishing up here.”

“Good boy. Looks like Buster has seen better days hmm? Tell you what if you can take me to the deck I’ll let you have my car when I’m not using it for the rest of summer. Deal?”

“Sir yes sir!”

Mike shook James’s hand, they fell into Basic Warrior Stance and then circled around each other.
James fired off a round kick nearly missing Mike, who countered with a right elbow strike to James’s sternum. He followed up with a left hook, but James moved forward, blocked it then grabbed Mike’s arm and threw him over his shoulder. Mike broke his fall and rolled to the side as James’s foot stomped where his chest had been.

“Double or nothing?” Mike said and got back into stance.

“OK but you’ll have to do all the chores for a month if you lose,” James said, smugness oozing from his every pore.

Mike stepped forward, faked to the right and came under James’s guard. He unbalanced James and swept his leg , taking him to the deck. Before the elder could counter Mike put him in a leg bar.
Shelia glared at the pair on the floor and said, “What in the heck is going on in here?”

“Sweetie, it’s nothing. Me and Mike are sparring is all.”

James smiled through gritted teeth as Mike applied more pressure to his kneecap.
Shelia shook her head then left after Mike released James.

“Sneaky kiddo. Keep it up and you’ll be ready to take me on for real. But don’t get cocky.”
He ruffled Mike’s hair then sucker punched him in the gut.

“Yeah Dad thanks,” he groaned then continued, “since I’m getting older don’t you think it’s about time I can go to the House of Pain by myself?”

Mike straightened up and rubbed his stomach.

“OK you’ll be heading off to college in a bit so you’ll need all the training you can get, but only if you keep your grades up and stay out of trouble,” James said and patted him on the back.

Mike flashed his trademark smirk.

“Don’t I always?”

“Hey now don’t act brand new. You’re not too old to be taken over my knee. Lights out in 30. I’m getting too old for this mess. ”

James hobbled out nursing his shoulder and leg.

“Sorry. Goodnight Sir.”

“Night Mike and the pass codes to the storage locker and security alarm is 7638.”

Mike yawned then finally took off his weighted vest and stretched out on his bed until his spine popped. Then he applied vitamin E to his back and shoulders. He checked his face book account and saw a new friend request from Jack “Pinky” Johnson. He froze.

He loved the hell out of the kid, but the last time they met Mike’s world turned upside down. Hey what’s the worst that could happen, right? He accepted the request then logged off and made a note to Skype Kyle and the other Soldier Boys.

Big Foot

The first thing people notice about me is my feet. See they’re size 14s and are out of place on my otherwise average build. Long and narrow they stick out like skis or, as my dad calls them, boats. Walking can be a pain since I can easily step on the back of other people’s shoes if I don’t pay attention. I’m flat footed and when I step down wrong my ankles buckle and my feet twist near ninety degree angles.

It wasn’t always like this. I was a normal until I turned 8 and they sprouted like weeds. I’d go into the hospital and grow another shoe size by the time I was released. I’d out grown kids shoe by the age of ten and hated I couldn’t wear the same super hero streaked sneakers as my peers.

Because my equilibrium was shoot after I had brain surgery in forth grade, coupled with one leg shorter than the other, I literally tripped over my feet on several occasions. It used to annoy the hell out of me when people joked about my big feet but most of the time it doesn’t bother me. The exception being if they ask if it’s true about guys with big feet. No comment and if you continue to ask you’ll get theses boats shoved up your ass.